Stark White Christmas
by Cher
Summary: Usagi is a leading Surgeon in New York. She loves her job, she loves her home and she loves her family and friends. She lives a quiet but peaceful life. The only disturbance, Mamoru Chiba. A lawyer who, is intent on making her work life a living hell
1. Chapter One I'm not even dreaming of Ch...

I hate these authors notes things. I read over my old stories and I'm like .@dork who wrote that. *deadpans at self* Anyway. Hope you enjoy this. It's not really that Christmassy (or so I keep telling myself to justify the early release) Ha ha! The idea just spurned from the Christmas season...of 2001 ^^;;; I know, I know. I'm a geek. Anyway. Hope you all enjoy. MUAH A THOUSAND TIMES TO MY DARLING WIVES AND SHAN! :D O.o Thanks to my beta readers...who were no one. O.o Unless you count Spikey who put it on his top 5 story list (*smirks at beating pussy out of her position*) I love it. Anyways. Hope you enjoy. O.o *hugs Mamo-chan* By the way...I know absolutely nothing about surgeons/doctors/medical terms *snickers* Is it obvious? *laughs*

Ah and I am no way affiliated with Sailor Moon and Naoko and Toenamieiaieaeraachanakiwama-chan. Sailor Moon is not mine nor is the idea that Mamo should be a womanising stud muffin. O.o well maybe it is. *shrugs* I'll get back to you on that :D

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rating: R (language) O.o I think ^^;;

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Stark White Christmas

"I hate Christmas." Usagi Tsukino slammed her apartment door shut and leant against it with a sigh. A Santa hat hung lopsided from her head. She yanked it off and tossed it on the floor along with her suitcase.

"I hate Christmas and I hate those damn Santa hats." She was beautiful. At 29 she was gorgeous. A beautiful figure, gorgeous blue eyes and a wondrous complexion. She was what every man wanted and every woman envied. She was single. Usagi was a highly acclaimed surgeon at New York's finest hospital, New York General. She was the envy of all those around her. Beautiful, healthy, successful, rich, alone. Her work life consumed most of her time, pushing the slightest spark of a love life out of the way.

Usagi yanked her blonde hair out of it's standard pony tail, running a hand through her knotted locks.

"I need to get a treatment."

She looked down at her torn and almost mangled finger nails. Her face dropped.

"I need to get a manicure."

Her legs ached, she hadn't gotten off her feet since 6am.

"I need to sit down."

Usagi looked down the hallway of her dark, empty apartment. The only response was a short meow from her black feline companion.

"Yes Luna yes let me just..." She was cut out by the shrill ring of the phone.

"...get the phone." Sighing, she scuffled over to her cordless phone and yanked it off it's recharger.

"Tsukino speaking."

"Honestly Usa, you need to start answering your phone a little warmer, you do have other people who phone here besides hospital staff."

"So nice to hear your voice too Rei, I'm fine thank you for asking."

"Usagi dry humor is not going to get you out of this mess. Your mother is furious. Why didn't you call?"

"I was busy Rei, I had an amputation to do in the morning, you know how I am with amputations."

"Usa can we please leave out the details of your work life. I hate missing legs and the such."

"Oh Rei put a lid on it. How mad is she?" Usagi rested the phone between her ear and her shoulder and scooped up Luna.

"She's fuming. You know how much she fusses over birthdays, she couldn't believe you didn't call. Let alone show up for the luncheon she put on."

"Alright what should I do and when?" Usagi dumped the cat on the floor, grabbed a tin of cat food and ripped the lid off.

"How does Monday sound?"

She poured the cat food out and scratched Luna's head affectionately.

"Can't, I've got the big Norton op. What about..." She scanned her calendar, "Wednesday, I'm working the night shift and I'll be on call so I should be able to slot in lunch somewhere."

"Alright done. Lunch at the manor. You're operating on Norton? Motoki Norton?"

"The one and only. The kid is an arrogant, rich, pompous..."

"28 year old stud. Usagi he's no kid, he's only a year younger than you."

"And as immature as a..."

"What are your plans for Christmas?"

"So far...nothing. I've got the hospital staff gala. Oh god I don't want to go Rei. I hate Christmas."

"I know sweetie. Love life?"

"Same old same old."

Usagi heard a sigh.

"Honestly Usagi I worry about you. You live alone in New York city and you're 29 years old. You should be running around enjoying yourself, having house parties, luncheons you know that sort of stuff."

"Rei you know I'm not like that. I'm so busy I don't have time and I prefer to just relax when I'm at home."

"But you're all alone in that apartment."

"At least it's a tidy apartment."

Another sigh.

"Usagi..."

"Rei..."

"I'm just worried about you. As a sister. The whole family is worried about you."

"I know I know. I'm fine really I am. Look I have to go. I'm on call and I need to sit down."

"But you were working all day."

"Yes I know but they may need me, one of my patients isn't doing so well."

"Oh god Usagi you need to find a new profession."

"Love you sweetie."

"You too Usa. See you on Wednesday."

She hung up and tossed the phone on the couch beside her where she'd curled up. Her head drifted closer and closer to the pillow, her eyes draping shut when the phone startled her back to life. 

"Hello?"

"Usa. Mako. Turn on the television."

"Mako? Why? What for."

"Just do it Usagi." There was a warning tone in her voice.

"Fine. Fine. I thought friends were supposed to be nice to each other." She fumbled for the remote of her television and switched it on.

"I see a giant Christmas tree. God I hate Christmas."

"The news Usagi the news."

She changed channels. His face appeared before her.

"Oh god Mako what are you doing to me?"

"Isn't he gorgeous. He's talking about the hospital gala Usa. He's going to be there. This is the perfect chance to show him up. Show him how much better you are."

"Mako I'm 29 years old. I don't have the time or energy for these games. Besides he's just...a big goon. God I hate him. I hate him more than I hate Christmas. He makes life so..."

"Difficult I know."

"His bossy demands, always pushing us around. A hospital is no place for a..."

"Lawyer I know."

"And it's not like he even cares about his patients I mean that's..."

"Ridiculous. Usagi I know."

"When you finish my sentences like that, it really annoys me you know."

She heard a giggle.

"I know. Anyway I've got to get going. Just think about it ok. A flashy dress, a nice hair do. It'd be fun."

"For you."

"Ha ha. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"For sure."

"Bye Usagi. Take care of yourself."

"I'll try."

She hung up the phone and tossed it down again.

"God Luna why can't they just leave me alone."

She stared at the television again. He was still there, gorgeous as ever, snide as ever. From the moment the pair met they had been at odds about everything. Usagi firmly believed that a hospital was no place for a lawyer, pestering about legal issues while a patient is trying to recover was no help to her. Usagi wanted nothing to do with him. Besides he was arrogant, self centered, pompous, sleazy...

Usagi drifted off for a moment when the shriek of her beeper awoke her.

"I hate Christmas!"

Friday night. Her one free night from the hospital. All she wanted to do was go home to bed and sleep away her woes but her handful of close friends insisted she join them for drinks and dancing. Every Friday night. She had to admit, the bar that Makoto picked for their weekly gatherings was an adorable little find. The atmosphere was quaint and comfortable yet the décor was upbeat and modern. Usagi loved the place. They sat, Makoto, Usagi, Minako, Nephlyte and Kunzite, sharing a booth in the back corner. The young waiter knew them all by name. He also knew they were five of the most important faces in New York. Usagi, the renowned surgeon. Makoto and Nephlyte, the entrepreneurs. Minako, the cover girl and her agent Kunzite. All the staff at the Niche knew who they were. All of the staff treated them no different than the other customers. This, the reason that the five enjoyed it so much. Friday nights they could be the group of laid back, easy going adults simply enjoying an after work drink.

Usagi was sitting in the corner of the booth one leg resting on the length of the booth before her. Her elbow resting on her raised knee, carefully holding her drink. Kunzite sat, with his arm firmly around Minako, Makoto and Motoki were returning from fetching some drinks.

"By all means Usa, make yourself at home."

Usagi lifted the straw from her lime green coloured Midori.

"Damn right I will. I've worked my ass off all week. My god. Honestly I think my feet are going to drop off. I need a doctor."

Minako snorted.

"You've got the best one in New York right here at this table. What are you bitching about?"

Usagi feigned shock.

"I didn't know you were a doctor Minako."

The playful bantering continued, Makoto joining in for a minute or two. The two men laughed at the girls antics. They'd been dear friends since their early college years when they shared a room.

"So you're operating on the famous Mr. Norton?"

Usagi sighed.

"Yeah, you heard too huh?"

Kunzite smiled wearily.

"It's the latest thing going around New York. Dr. Tsukino, the young graduate surgeon operating on the mayors only nephew. And god forbid she's female."

Usagi rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Oh please. The fact that I don't have a pair of balls hanging between my legs does not change or effect my surgical abilities. The only reason people are gossiping about this op is because I am the first female surgeon who has had the guts to look those bastards in the surgery program in the eyes and say "Screw you. Screw New York. Screw tradition." You know. When I entered that surgery program I was the only female on the team. I was so intimidated but fuck them. I'm not going to let some arrogant boys club stand in my way of my dream. And besides who the hell stated that surgery was only suitable for men?"

Usagi tossed away the straw of her drink and downed the entire glass.

"I hate Christmas."

"And what do those little children you operate on daily think of that?"

Usagi spun around to see the smirking face of Mamoru Chiba.

"Oh here we go. As if pestering me at the hospital wasn't enough. Now you're following me out of hours time too?"

Usagi stared at the man before her in contempt. He rose from the crouching position. His face no longer just centimeters away from hers. She couldn't help but notice his crisp cologne wafting through the air. She looked him up and down. He was gorgeous she had to admit. You couldn't not admire his lithe form, his tanned skin. The way his jaw jutted out just that extra bit, defining his face to near perfection. She hated the way his blue eyes penetrated her own so often, but how she loved to stare into them.

Tonight however she was not in the mood to converse with Mamoru.

"I'm not following you Usagi. As it happens, I'm meeting a friend of mine here."

He looked at his watch and smiled at her. So suave. She hated him.

"Well go meet your friend away from our booth Mr. Chiba. If you didn't notice we're having a private gathering."

"Oh I noticed. I was wondering, you being a doctor and all. Have you seen Ami Mizuno around anywhere? We're meeting here."

"Ami Mizuno? The Ami Mizuno?"

Usagi stared at him incredulously. What was he doing associating with a doctor of such high rank.

"Ami Mizuno yes. We've been seeing each other on and off. Is that jealousy I hint in your voice Usagi?"

"It's Dr. Tsukino to you Mr. Chiba and no you've missed it by a mile. Why don't you go look for your friend else where. She's obviously not here."

Mamoru stared at Usagi for a moment longer before shrugging, gathering his belongings and striding away.

"Usagi are you crazy? That guy has it bad for you." Minako threw a cube of ice at Usagi. 

"Don't be stupid Mina. He's a bum anyway."

"Hardly." Makoto snorted into her drink.

Usagi released a withered sigh. He was seeing Dr. Mizuno? She blinked in shock and stared at her drink. For years now, Usagi had been following the work of Ami Mizuno. She was the one surgeon who had the credentials, experience and recognition that left Usagi in awe. Not only that, she was female.

"I can't believe Mizuno is in New York. That woman is a killer surgeon. She absolutely cleaned up with the best in Japan. My gosh. She must be an amazon or something. I heard she's like stone when she operates. She never even flinches. Oh god. Here in New York? And seeing Mamoru Chiba of all pigs. My god how I pity the woman."

"Are you sure you're not jealous?"

Usagi shot a glare at Nephlyte.

"How many times must I tell you. The man is a selfish..."

"Arrogant." Minako cut in.

"Chauvinistic." Makoto added.

"Pushy." Nephlyte grinned.

"Pig." Kunzite finished.

Usagi rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I get the picture. I think I'm done for the night. My feet are killing me."

"Sure it's not Mamoru's presence that's killing you?"

"Whatever Minako. You cling to that false pretense while I go home and soak in a hot tub. Oh yeah. The life of a single woman. Aren't you jealous?"

Minako and Makoto looked at each other before bursting out into a fit of giggles.

"Sure we are Usa sure we are. You just cling to that false pretense..."

"I get the point. Honestly. You people will be the death of me."

Usagi smiled, threw some money on the table and strode out of the club and towards the elevator. She was tying her scarf tightly around her neck, hardly watching where her feet were leading her when she bumped straight into another woman, wrapped in a tight woolen coat, a huge fluffy beanie on her head and a scarf almost the size of her body, hanging from her neck. The woman was a tiny, mousy little thing with huge glasses perched on her nose.

"Oh gosh I'm sorry."

Usagi smiled wearily. The woman smiled back.

"Long day at work?" Her voice was timid and she offered a shy smile to Usagi. Usagi returned the gesture.

"Too long. Looks like you're not used to the New York weather."

A giggle escaped the woman's lips as she held up the edge of her scarf.

"Hardly."

Usagi laughed.

"Well I'm off. Have a nice night."

"You too."

Usagi stood with her head cocked and her coat dangling from her arm. She couldn't help but think of how nice that woman was. She sighed.

"If only all New York people were as nice as foreigners."

The young face before her was beautiful. A sleeping child in the body of a grown man. Innocence. Usagi smiled softly. If only people acted the way they looked when they slept. This man before her looked the perfect angel. His blonde bangs fell carelessly across his face in the manner of a robust child who had just returned from countless hours frolicking in the garden.

Usagi flipped the statistics board for patient Motoki Norton closed and hung it on the end of his bed. She busied herself with checking his drip and vital statistics. A hurried glance over her shoulder was all she needed to prompt her to brush a lock of hair from his forehead. Innocent. She turned away from the sleeping man and checked her patient list. Four more check ups before she could grab a cup of coffee. Heaven. 

She was taking her first step to leave when she felt a feather light touch on her thigh, creeping up beneath her skirt. Usagi spun around with a scowl planted firmly on her face.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Mr. Norton?"

He smiled lazily at her, his eyes filled with mirth.

"I was thinking doc, when this operations over would you like to have dinner at my place some time?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I'd rather die than spend a night with you."

"That can be arranged."

Usagi scoffed in disbelief.

"Are you threatening my life? Is that a threat. My god you are pathetic."

"I think hospital rules state that you must under any circumstance hold all patients with the highest respect."

Usagi walked briskly to the door.

"I think you're kidding yourself."

"Sweet dreams loverwoman."

She smiled, a huge, false, sickeningly sweet smile and batted her long thick eyelashes.

"Oh indeed Mr. Norton. The same for you. Hopefully you'll die a thousand painful deaths...in your dreams of course."

"Doctor Tsukino you do realise I will file a complaint about this. I did not..."

She left the room. He had threatened her with complaints from the moment his fast little red car slammed into the tree and he was wheeled into intensive care. God she hated him.

"Doctor Tsukino?"

Usagi spun around, her white doctors coat fluttering behind her.

"Yes Doctor Ashgrove?"

"Your Santa hat?"

Her smile fell.

"Of course."

She yanked the hat out of her pocket and slammed it onto her head.

"Must keep up the festive spirit." Usagi forced a smile.

"Of course Doctor Tsukino."

Her superior strode down the hall way and out of view. She dramatically rolled her eyes.

"Not like this blasted cheesy music isn't doing the job just fine."

She swatted at the white pom-pom hanging before her eyes.

"God I hate Christmas!"

"You seem to be saying that more and more each time I see you."

He was right behind her. His face beside hers. His breath tickling her neck. She spun around to face him and took a firm step back.

"Mr. Chiba. What a surprise." The sarcasm practically dripped from her voice.

"A pleasant one I hope."

She smiled, that sickeningly sweet false smile.

"Oh of course. What is it today? Your sick grandmother suing for emotional distress?"

Mamoru chuckled. She noticed how deep his timbre voice sounded. She would love to hear any other man chuckle that chuckle. Any but Mamoru Chiba.

"Actually I'm visiting a friend whose having an operation done on Monday."

She snorted.

"Lets hope it's not Motoki Norton. Lord that kid..."

He was grinning. She could see the laughter ready to spill from his mouth.

"Oh god. God. I hate Christmas!"

She brushed past him.

"Usagi?"

Usagi turned and frowned.

"I thought I told you to call me Doctor Tsukino. And what?"

The grin on his face was what drove her over the edge.

"Merry Christmas!"

The hat was yanked off her head. A groan escaped her lips as she stormed down the halls of the hospital. She hated Christmas.

Motoki was flipping through a magazine when Mamoru peeked his head through the door.

"You must be bored out of your pea sized little brain."

"Fuck off."

"Glad to see you too. Here."

Mamoru tossed the box on the bed, smirked at Motoki and finally sprawled into the chair beside his bed. He watched as Motoki tore the wrapping off the box and practically ripped the thing open.

"My play station. Mamoru what good is this thing I have no TV to hook it up to. You're such a shit head."

Mamoru simply smiled and looked at his watch. Any minute now the nurse would arrive. Sure enough she burst through the doors with a trolley, housing a generous sized TV.

Motoki chuckled heartily.

"Son of a bitch."

"Your welcome." Mamoru snorted.

The nurse smiled, that hint of shyness washing over her. The two men were used to this reaction. It was either shyness or confidence. After all. They were gorgeous.

"I hope you know how to hook this thing up. I wouldn't have the slightest idea." The nurse fiddled carelessly with the hem of her skirt.

Motoki cracked a roguish grin.

"All you have to do nurse is plug this cord into the back of the VCR down there." 

She knew what he wanted her to do. Her face flushed beet red. With trembling hands the nurse reached for the cord Motoki was holding, bent over and slotted it into place.

"There you go sir. I hope you enjoy." She all but scampered out of the room.

Mamoru let loose. His laughter booming throughout the small hospital room.

"You are such a slut Motoki."

"Hey. I've been coped up in this room for almost a week. What do you expect. How'd you fucking organise this Mamoru. This is crazy."

Mamoru smirked again.

"I talked to the nurses in the children's ward."

Motoki blinked, staring at Mamoru incredulously.

"No fucking way. Take this back. I've been called heartless but taking a TV from sick children. Man you're a coward."

Another smirk.

"Relax. Geez who turned you into Peter Brady. Honestly Motoki. It was a spare you fuck."

Motoki grinned.

"Good cause I like the idea of having my own TV. And you have to admit that nurse was hot. Even if she was shy."

They both rolled their eyes.

"Like you're not used to shyness. I'm surprised she didn't throw herself at you though. She looked like the type."

"Heh. Yeah well you know. I've never once met a girl whose treated me as an equal you know. Why can't they get the hint."

The boys sunk into their own thoughts. Motoki setting up the play station while Mamoru fiddled with his suit tie.

"I've got it."

Mamoru looked up.

"Got what?"

"One girl that has treated me different."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. The doctor. She's a fucking babe. Legs up to her eyeballs. Killer legs too. Man when she wears high heels her calves look so good. I would love to be between those legs. And her hair. Blonde. Not trashy blonde either. Like gold and it smells good. Two blue eyes that just stare at you and you just want to bury yourself to the hilt in her. She's every man's dream. Copped myself a feel of her legs too."

"Lucky man. Sounds like someone I know. Names Usagi..."

"Tsukino. That's her alright. What I wouldn't give to get her between the sheets."

"Yeah? The girl has an attitude that could chill an ice queen."

Motoki chuckled.

"Believe me I know."

The second controller was thrown to Mamoru as Motoki started up the game.

"What time do you get back to work?"

"1.00pm. An hour."

"Fifty bucks says I kick your ass."

"You're on cowboy."

Usagi was tired. Very tired. She checked her watch again while standing impatiently in the elevator. She would be off in half an hour. Then she could go home and relax. Finally relax. She couldn't believe the hospital had given her the afternoon off. As well as the evening. How generous of them, Usagi scowled. Generous. Hardly. The doors of the elevator slid open silently, the noise of the hospital at once filled her ears. Christmas was such a busy time. How Usagi hated it. Sighing loudly she stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway. She was making her way to the main desk for the ward when she heard her name being called. Usagi spun and stared at her superior.

"I thought I told you to keep that Santa hat on Dr. Tsukino."

Her shoulders slumped forward.

"I realise this Sir, and I apologise, however it was interfering with patient check ups so I removed it for the time being. I only have another check up before I..."

"Two more. If it's not any trouble could you please check up on Mr. Norton?"

She creased her brow.

"Oh but sir, I've already done his statistic check up, only half an hour ago."

"I'm aware of this Doctor but some nurses made comments that there is a fair ruckus of noise coming from his room. I'd like you to check it out."

"But sir I have far more important things to do then babysit Mr. Norton."

"Dr. Tsukino, I will be the one to decide if you have more important things to do. Now go and suss out why Mr. Norton is making a fuss in his room. Then you can get back to your patient check ups. And you shall wear that Santa hat until you are off your shift."

Usagi closed her eyes. A nod of defeat was all Dr. Spike Ashgrove needed before he was on his way again. The hat was slammed onto her head once again followed by a stream of colourful curses and the heavy sound of Dr. Tsukino stomping towards the direction of Motoki Norton's hospital room.

Usagi walked with a scowl set in place the whole way to his room. When she arrived, she did indeed hear the yells, groans, cheers and laughter of two men.

She glared.

The door was thrown open.

"Why am I not surprised?"

Mamoru and Motoki looked up with lopsided grins on their faces.

Mamoru's tie had been loosened around his neck, his jacket flung carelessly at the foot of the bed and his shoes kicked off, lay under the bed.

The men were clearly fighting to suppress their laughter.

"Mr. Norton what in the hell is going on here?"

She was furious. 

"Why Dr. Tsukino, I'm just enjoying a little bit of rest and relaxation with my friend Mamoru here."

"I can see that," She yanked the controller out of his hand and slammed it on top of the VCR. "You're aware, are you not, that in order for this operation to be a success we need you to rest as much as you can. I hardly believe that fooling around like a child with your buddies is appropriate rest."

Motoki glared at her.

"If there is so much as a scratch on that controller I'll..."

"You'll what? Sue me for the damage? I'm sure you pal over there can help you. He probably deals with that sort of thing every day."

Mamoru stood up, his face dark.

"Listen Usagi, I was just offering my friend some support during his trying time. I'm sure you can understand that."

Usagi spun around, scowling at the taller man.

"What I understand is that you are jeopardising this man's health by disrupting his rest."

Both men were wearing a glare now.

"I don't know what your problem is Dr. Tsukino but someone needs to remove that icicle that is wedged so far up your ass it's probably frozen your heart by now."

Her scowl fell. The colour drained from her face. She didn't hear Mamoru's warning to his friend. All she could hear were the sleigh bells that were continuously ringing through the speakers placed in the hallway. God she hated Christmas. And she hated the fact that Motoki's harsh words had easily destroyed her hard exterior. Her insides were churning. How had this man hurt her feelings? How? She couldn't comprehend it. 

Mamoru was saying something. She had no idea what he was talking about but both men now stared at her expectantly. She swallowed.

"Very well."

She had no idea what he had said. She also had no idea how her voice had broken, or why the tears were threatening to fall.

She pulled the Santa hat slowly off her head. Stared at the two men before her and finally turned, flung the door open and stumbled away.

Her vision was blurred by the tears. Was she really as cold as Motoki had said? An icicle? She had to find somewhere to be alone. She was crumbling and she was crumbling quickly.

The words STORAGE appeared on the door to her right. She flung that door open and stumbled inside. Her hands grasping the trolley of medicines, some of them scattering on the floor and rolling away due to the force of her shaking hands.

The room was dark. For that she was thankful. Tears began to trickle from her eyes. How had he hurt her like that? She felt like trash. She wasn't that rude was she? The sobs racked her body. The trolley still trembled from her shaking hands.

She didn't hear the door open. Or see the crack of light fill the room when someone entered. Her eyes were full of tears. She had stopped sobbing and was breathing deeply. She'd hate for one of her co-workers to find her in this state.

"Usagi?"

Her body visibly stiffened. She closed her eyes. Anyone but him. Her silent prayer went unheard. 

"What are you doing here?" Mamoru's voice still had it's strength yet it was softer, she heard a hint of caring in the deepness of it.

Usagi took a deep breath.

"I'm just getting some medicine. I have other patients besides Mr. Norton you know."

He heard the slight hitch in her voice at the end of the sentence. He couldn't miss it. As much as the thought of Usagi chilled his bones, his heart burst with sympathy as he heard her obviously distressed voice.

"Usagi look at me."

The tears wouldn't stop. She was fighting an emotional battle.

"Mr. Chiba, I'm busy please this is a restricted access area. If someone finds you here..."

"I don't give a damn. What's wrong?" His voice seemed to fill her every inch. She all at once crumbled again. Trying to fight the sobs.

"Nothing is wrong."

It was a lie. She knew it. He knew it.

He reached out and rested his hand on her shoulders, they were surprisingly soft as he spun her around to face him. Urgent but soft.

Usagi glued her eyes to the floor. She would not let him see her cry. 

"Usagi...look at me."

She closed her eyes. Surely he could feel her body trembling. Sobbing.

He sighed. His hand grabbed her chin roughly and jerked it upwards. 

Usagi gasped. Why was he being so cruel to her.

He sighed again.

"You're crying. It's because of Motoki."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Yanking her body out of his grip, almost slamming herself against the medicine trolley.

"I'm fine. I'm just...tired. Christmas is a stressing time for me here."

"My ass it is. Look at yourself Usagi, you're crumbling. Anyone can see."

Usagi scowled once again.

"It is not your place to tell me if I'm crumbling or not."

"Hey. There is no need to get snappy. I'm just trying to help you. Don't beat yourself up about Motoki. He's an asshole who wouldn't know how to treat a lady if his life depended on it."

Usagi fell to her knees and collected the spilled tablets and containers.

"I don't need your help Mr. Chiba. And I wouldn't waste my tears on an imbecile like Motoki. Don't you have some work to do or something."

She was desperate to get him out of there. The tears had stopped for now. She was angry now. Angry at him. Angry at Motoki. Angry at her work.

"I took the afternoon off. Listen if you're going to be stubborn about this then that's fine. But I just want you to know that I was trying to be friendly."

Usagi chuckled. 

"Friendly. How alien it is to hear you refer to yourself as friendly. Listen to me. I'm fine. Thank you for your concern but next time, why don't you save it for someone who cares."

She slammed the container of tablets onto the trolley and brushed past him. Unaware that her Santa hat had fluttered to the floor at his feet.

He sighed and snatched up the hat.

"Motoki was right. She really is an ice bitch."

*~MUAH~*

__

When everything is gone, there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down, because I'm already here. 


	2. Chapter Two It's All in the Family

And I'm back once again. Amazing isn't it? That my updates are looking to be frequent occurrences. Well, I cheated. This has been pre-written, I'm actually currently writing Chapter 8 or something. I don't know I haven't gotten around to chopping the latter end of this story into chapters yet. A big thank you for all the reviews. It is greatly appreciated and the cliché stands, you guys are the ones that keep me going. Because really, if you don't get reviews what do you get? Nothing. Except maybe the satisfaction that you've written a story. O.o I'd prefer reviews. Call me shallow. ^_^;;; Wow, this is a long chapter ^_^;; Much apologies!

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rated: R (for language) 

****

Stark White Christmas

'Easy Usa. Take the cut. This is a simple incision. Think of a happy 

place. You're not going to kill this man. Think happy thoughts. 

Slowly, easy, woah Usa your hand is shaking. Get a grip. Stop. Take a 

breath. Why are you nervous? Don't be nervous Usa. 

No…stop…damn it don't look at his face.'

She looked.

He was beautiful. Dead to the world. Beautiful.

She hated that. That feeling of utter compassion. Had she forgotten 

who this man was? Had she forgotten the horrible words he'd said to 

her just the other day? Usagi shook her head daftly. 

It didn't matter what he said to her.

He was her patient. His life was resting in her hands. She couldn't let 

bias get in the way of his operation.

Plus, the whole of New York was breathing down her neck to do this 

right. Usagi's face set. She'd show them. All of them. The politicians, 

the superstars, the male surgeons. She'd show them she was better.

With a grin to her male nursing assistant, Usagi continued with the 

operation.

"I trust you didn't slip while Motoki was under the knife." Mamoru 

stood behind her. His hands resting casually in his pockets.

She was slipping off her surgeon gown when he appeared before her. 

Usagi's eyes filled with contempt. She had no need to hide it.

"Mr. Norton will be fine. He now has no need to worry about the rib 

that was puncturing his kidneys. All vital statistics are level and he 

should be able to leave within the next two days."

She pulled off her cap, face mask and finally gloves, throwing them all 

into necessary compartments.

Usagi was searching around the bench for her Santa hat, eager to leave 

Mr. Chiba alone.

"When can he have visitors?"

She looked up. Screw the hat. She needed to get out of here. Her 

composure was crumbling simply from hearing his tone.

"He'll be taken back to his room in an hour or so. Ask a nurse. She'll 

tell you."

Usagi stormed away.

Mamoru simply scowled.

Christmas dinner. Four friends sat around a small dinner table, lazily 

enjoying drinks. Empty plates were scattered across the table along 

with several empty bottles of wine. 

"Usagi that was beautiful, I had no idea you could cook like that." 

Kunzite leant back in his chair, a look of pure satisfaction on his face.

Makoto rolled her eyes.

"Of course she can't cook like that. I made the main course. All she did 

was decorate the ginger bread house."

A giggle escaped Usagi's lips as she shrugged.

"I was busy?"

Her and Makoto stood, clearing the dishes. Together they carried the 

load into the kitchen, chattering idly.

"So do you think you'll be spending Christmas with your family?"

Makoto was filling up the sink.

"I don't know Mako, I don't think I can handle them on Christmas day. 

I might drive up to the manor on boxing day. Oh god, I've got a lunch 

with mother and Rei tomorrow. And god knows who else they'll bring 

along."

The dishing liquid was squirted in.

"It's not that bad is it?"

They both watched in silence as the white foamy bubbles soon clouded 

the sink.

"Yeah…it is."

Makoto laughed, her throaty laugh.

"Honestly Usa, you're such a drama queen."

Usagi smiled, scooping up some of the bubbles with an evil glint in her 

eye. She proceeded to clap her hands together sending the bubbles 

flying all over Makoto's green woolen sweater.

"My dramatic antics are just a repercussion of their dramatic antics." 

She ducked a clump of bubbles heading towards her.

"Yeah. And my throwing bubbles is just a repercussion of your 

throwing bubbles."

Usagi was smacked dead in the face with a handful of bubbles.

"Oh you're going to die."

In the next instant the two girls were shooting about Usagi's apartment 

with handfuls of bubbles. 

Minako, Kunzite and Nephlyte simply continued on their conversation 

about politics.

Makoto had Usagi pinned to the floor, hands raised, each filled with 

bubbles while Usagi was screaming as if her life hung by a thin thread. 

Her scream was cut off by a brisk knock on the door. Usagi and Makoto 

looked at each other before erupting into a fit of giggles.

"I'll get it."

Makoto cracked up again.

"Usa you might wanna…"

"Relax, it's probably just the land lady."

Pulling herself up from the floor, the tinsel still wrapped around her 

head from her and Kunzite's charade games, Usagi made her way to the 

front door. Making sure to grab her purse on the way there.

She was totally unaware of the huge dollop of bubbles on her nose, 

forehead and left ear. Or the fact that she still had tinsel wrapped 

around her head.

Another knock sounded through the apartment.

"Just a second, I'm just grabbing my key…oof!"

Usagi had tripped on a piece of stray tinsel on the floor.

"You alright Usa?" It was Kunzite's voice.

She groaned.

"Kunz, I thought I told you to pick up the tinsel."

She heard laughter.

Muttering quietly, she picked herself off the floor and opened the door 

without looking up. She was fumbling around in her purse, looking for 

the rent money envelope.

"Sorry Mrs. Martin, it's in here somewhere I know it."

"Doctor Tsukino?"

She looked up, her mouth hanging open. 

Before her stood Motoki Norton and Mamoru Chiba, holding a bottle of 

champagne and a bunch of flowers.

"Mr…Mr. Norton, Mr. Chiba, what…how did you get my address?"

Motoki grinned and brushed past Usagi.

"One of the cutesy nurses gave it to us. Here."

He handed her the bottle of champagne.

She rolled her eyes.

"Well by all means come on in."

"Thank you."

She gingerly placed the wine on the entry table and turned to Mamoru.

"Come on in…I guess."

He smiled winningly, pushing the flowers into her arms. He leaned over 

and gave the tinsel a little pull.

"Nice hair-do."

Her eyes rolled again.

"And I love this new shade on you, what is that? Foam?"

His hand, brushed across her cheek, wiping the white bubbles from her 

face. She found herself blushing. Despite who this man was, he was 

gorgeous. And it wasn't every day that she found a gorgeous man 

caressing her face.

She swatted at her nose, disintegrating the remaining bubbles and led 

him to the dining room where the rest of her friends were standing up 

gathering their things to leave.

"We're off Usa, thank you for dinner it was wonderful. Merry 

Christmas." Kunzite planted a kiss firmly on her lips.

"Yes, thank you Usa, watch it Kunz, you've got an angry blonde on 

your hands if you exceed the friendly kissing limit." Minako winked at Usagi and led her fiancée away.

"I'll call you tomorrow Usa, we'll talk about that…thing." Usagi looked 

at Makoto, scrunching her brows. What was the woman on about?

Makoto shot a subtle glance at Mamoru and then back at Usagi. Her 

eyebrows were wiggling.

"Oh yes, yes of course. We'll see Makoto. We'll see. Bye Neph, don't 

forget to read that book."

"Yes Usagi, I'll read it. Along with the other two in the trilogy. 

Honestly couldn't you have recommended…"

"You'll love them trust me."

He smiled and kissed her chastely on the cheek.

"What's the blonde's number?"

Usagi spun around to see Motoki grinning at her from his place, sitting 

at the dining table, pouring himself a glass of wine.

"The blonde's number is private."

Mamoru pulled up a chair beside Motoki.

"She looks pretty familiar. What line of work is she in?"

Usagi sighed in defeat and joined the boys at the table.

"Modeling."

Motoki startled her with a loud clap.

"Minako Aino right? Damn she's fine. I had no idea you were friends 

with her."

"Of course, I'm just the ice princess aren't I?"

Motoki's smile fell and he looked down.

"Look I'm sorry about that. That's the main reason we came really. To 

apologise and thank you for the operation."

"Apology accepted and you're welcome. Do you often arrive uninvited 

at strangers homes?"

Motoki pouted.

"I'm hurt. You think me a stranger?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Well we were hardly on friendly terms, I know nothing about you and 

up until a few moments ago the mention of your name turned my 

stomach. As for your friend…"

"We get the point Usagi."

Mamoru handed her a glass of wine.

Motoki was grinning from ear to ear.

"So what made you change your mind?"

She frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"You just said, up until a few moments ago the mention of my name 

turned your stomach. Which insinuates that now it does not."

She stood then. With the flowers in her arms she headed for the kitchen.

"You know, for the nephew of the mayor whose occupation is clearly 

unknown you are a huge smart ass."

Motoki grinned at Mamoru. Who in turn rolled his eyes.

"Why I'm shocked Dr. Tsukino."

She appeared from the kitchen with the flowers spread in a purple vase.

"Call me Usagi. We might as well try and be friendly while you're in 

my home."

Truth be told, she was quite at ease around the young man. However 

when her eyes turned on Mamoru she felt his stare penetrating her own. What was with that man. So serious. She couldn't help but think back 

to the storage room. She remembered his hard gaze as she brushed past 

him. He was an asshole.

"As you wish. Where was I? Oh yes. You of all people should know 

my chosen career path."

She lowered herself into the chair at the head of the table. Mamoru at 

the opposite end, Motoki between the two. She sipped languidly at the 

glass of wine.

"You mean you're actually studying? And what might be your chosen 

career path anyways?"

He smiled, flashing his perfect teeth.

"Surgery."

Both men noticed her eyes grow wide. Both chuckled.

"My god. You don't seriously think anyone would trust you with their lives?"

"Of course they would Usagi, I'm the mayors nephew. And it's about 

time I did something notable for the city."

Usagi's voice suddenly lost the tone of mirth.

"You mean this is a publicity stint?"

She watched Motoki and Mamoru glimpse at each other with smirks 

drawn across their faces. They were brought out of their reverie when 

Usagi's fist slammed on the table.

"You can't be serious?"

Motoki grinned.

"You're right. I'm not."

She rolled her eyes.

"Honestly."

"It's actually been my goal since I was a young boy. Before I turned 

into a heartless, cruel, womanising, rich, conceited…"

"Right, right I get the picture. How long have you got to go?"

"Two years…maybe three."

"Maybe three? Correct me if I'm wrong but most doctorate degrees do 

have a certain number of years. You're unsure because…?"

She could feel Mamoru staring at her. She hated that feeling. Uneasily 

she brushed a tendril of hair behind her ear.

"Well I was speaking with Dr. Mizuno and she recommended doing 

some work experience with her. That way I can be absolutely positive 

that I'm ready to begin surgery."

This surprised her.

"You were speaking with Dr. Mizuno. Am I the only person in New 

York that has yet to meet this Dr. Mizuno?"

Motoki shrugged. 

"She's quiet. But she's a legendary surgeon. Quite like yourself only 

she's attacked the foreign competitors while you stuck to the American 

big boys. Personally I think you have the greater courage. She just has 

more skill."

Usagi was taken aback. He admired her surgery skills. She knew she 

was good, but to hear Motoki Norton admit it. This was proving to be a 

very different night.

"Well thank you Motoki. I have been following the work of Dr. Mizuno 

for quite some time. Her heart transplants are amazing."

"Yeah. Like I said she's a great surgeon. I guess I'm lucky that 

Mamoru's fucking her. Good connections."

Usagi laughed. She noted Mamoru's discomfort at Motoki's vulgar 

interpretations of his relationship with Dr. Mizuno. Usagi assumed the 

same as Motoki did. She suddenly felt she had a lot in common with 

Motoki Norton. How strange.

As she laughed, that unique, husky laugh of hers, she was totally 

unaware at Mamoru's seemingly deeper discomfort as her laughter 

filled the room. Motoki too seemed to shift uncomfortably. Did she 

have any idea of how sensuous she was. Of the wicked images vividly 

displayed in both men's minds. Images of her in absurd positions. If 

she did. She did not care. She knew she was sexy. She loved it. 

Truthfully most men were frightened of the fact that she was a beautiful 

woman with brains. They assumed she could trap any man she wanted 

into her bed. Truth be told she could count the number of lovers she'd 

had on one hand. Still she had her share of experience with all things 

sexual. 

While Mamoru and Motoki believed in bedding as many woman as they 

could, performing as many positions as possible, Usagi believed in love. 

Her past lovers were men with whom she'd shared love with. Of course 

Usagi knew that with love came pain. She'd been hurt by those lovers 

far too many times. She was stronger now. Smarter.

"So tell me Usagi, who are you 'fucking' as Motoki so nicely puts it."

Usagi raised a slender eyebrow, chuckling as the two men leaned 

forward, both seemed a little too interested in her personal life.

"Who I'm 'fucking' is none of your business Mamoru, neither is it 

yours Motoki. Nor will it ever be." She downed the last of her wine 

and poured another glass as the two men slumped back into their chairs 

with dejected sighs.

"Oh come on. Just a little hint. You know Mamoru's fucking Dr. 

Mizuno. And me, well lets just say we'd be here all night if we tried to 

list all my pulls." Motoki was grinning. The idea of him sleeping with 

all these woman really did repulse Usagi. But she couldn't help but 

warm up to this young man.

"Your pulls? That is a new one Motoki. I don't think I've ever heard a 

grown man use that term." The gauntlet was down. Motoki chuckled.

"Well perhaps you need to give up socialising with teenagers, then 

maybe you will have an understanding of the vocabulary of a 'grown 

man'."

He was grinning. So was she. Mamoru had his eyes glued to her chest. 

Typical, she thought. She was flattered all the same.

"Very good Motoki, I see you're talented in the field of adult banter."

"Indeed. It is a skill one can never tire of."

A groan came from Mamoru's direction.

"Will you two stop with the pompous talk. Christ."

Usagi smiled sweetly at Mamoru. "Of course your highness, would you 

like your feet rubbed while we're at it?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'd kill for a good foot massage."

Motoki leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs beneath the table. "I'd kill for a good lay."

Usagi simply snorted. "Honestly. Is your brain focused on getting into 

the bed with a woman every hour of the day?"

Motoki stood up, stretching his arms. He really was gorgeous, Usagi 

had to remind herself of who these pair were. New York's two greatest 

bachelors. She didn't notice him approach and in an instant, Motoki had 

pulled her by the hand off her chair and wrapped his arms around her, 

lifting her feet off the ground.

"When a beautiful woman is in the same room with me practically 

alone, how can I not think about it?"

Her eyes were wide open along with her mouth. A faint blush stained 

her cheeks as she felt his firm manhood press against her. His eyes, 

gleaming with boyish mirth bore into her own, wide, innocent pair. 

Mamoru cleared his throat at that indication Motoki grinned and placed 

her softly on the ground.

"And that my dear is our cue to leave. Will I ever see you again?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a whore. Call me sometime if you 

like. I'm sure you grabbed my phone number from the same place you 

grabbed my address."

"Well Mamoru made a note of it. In case we should call before we 

arrive unannounced once again."

She looked to Mamoru who stood with a firm stare.

"Thank you for the consideration."

They all laughed before Motoki trotted out the front door. "I'll grab the 

car."

She stood alone with Mamoru. She suddenly felt very small. His body 

seemed to fill the room as he slipped into his coat. She was admiring 

his broad shoulders when she finally spoke. Her voice was small.

"Thank you for the flowers, and the wine. It was very nice of you."

He shrugged. "It was no problem. Thank you for the company."

He sounded so distant. "Your most welcome, perhaps we can do this 

again sometime. It's nice to be civil to each other every once and 

awhile."

He smiled then. God he was gorgeous.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Maybe, I'm on call. Most probably yeah," she laughed at this, "hospital shifts got to love them."

He laughed. His hand rested on her arm and rubbed softly. The 

attention she was receiving from this pair was getting to her head. 

"You're a great doctor. The hospital wouldn't be the same if you ever 

left."

She smiled, a shy smile and looked up at him through her lashes.

"Thanks, I don't think I'll be leaving NYG anytime soon."

"Good. I'll see you later Usagi."

"Yeah. Thank you again. For the flowers."

He smiled. She hated that her legs felt wobbly as she watched him walk 

out the door. Or that her heart was beating that extra bit fast and her 

arm tingled from where he had caressed her arm. Who was she kidding. 

This was Mamoru. Usagi sighed and collected up the remaining dirty 

dishes. Men. Who needed them?

"She is so fuckable." Motoki swung a sharp right and sped down the 

next street in Mamoru's sleek black jaguar.

"Didn't you fucking learn anything after your accident? Slow the fuck 

down Motoki before I slam your head into the steering wheel and make 

you walk home."

Motoki shot Mamoru a side long glance, "Yes Mummy."

"And keep your fucken eyes on the road you dip shit."

Motoki simply rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Shit you got a dirty 

mouth. What the hell is up with you?"

Mamoru snapped. It was simple really. He wanted Usagi. He wanted 

to get between her legs and pound her hard, fast and deep. Then he 

wanted to walk away the next day like nothing ever happened. Just like 

all his lovers. Motoki should have known this. Motoki was on his 

territory.

"I had my eye on Usagi. You cut in."

Motoki lost his joking tone. "Fuck off Mamoru."

"No you fuck off. I want her. You stay the fuck away from her. And 

slow the fuck down."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I want Usagi as a friend. Maybe 

even someone I can consult or even work with one day? We really hit it 

off in there. I think we have lots in common. To be friends I mean."

"Don't fuck with me Motoki, since when did you put women and 

friends in the same category? I know you want to fuck her. I know that 

you would never consider women as friends. Any women."

Motoki slammed on the breaks and pulled over outside what looked like 

a night club. Flashing neon signs were lit everywhere. Typical New 

York evening.

"What the fuck would you know?"

"You. That's what I know. Just drop it."

"No. I'm not going to drop it because you think that I don't have any 

women friends when I do."

"I said drop it Motoki before I do something we'll both regret."

"No I fucken won't drop it. Ami Mizuno. There. She's a friend. And 

you're the one fucking her. That's fucken ironic."

"Whatever Motoki. I just know that Usagi isn't your type of girl to call 

a friend."

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It fucking means that she is too beautiful for you to just simply say 

'Let's be friends eh?'"

"Fuck you. I happened to enjoy spending time with her. I'm not all 

about sex unlike you. And are you saying that Ami isn't beautiful? 

Wait till she fucken hears that."

"I'm saying that Usagi is too beautiful. We both know that Ami isn't 

beautiful. She is. She's not drop dead gorgeous. And the sex isn't all 

that great either but…"

He stopped. What was Ami to him?

"But she's a trophy. You want to be able to brag that you fucked the 

surgeon who is killing the male surgeon industry in Japan. When really 

she's a timid little woman who only gets loud when she's debating 

surgery or speaking about something she's passionately involved in."

There was a long pause.

"I'm going to break that woman's heart."

"You certainly are."

"I want Usagi."

"I don't."

Mamoru sighed, "sorry man. I'm high strung. It's that time of year you 

know the cases are just piling in."

"It's ok Mamoru. Just fuck, lighten up a bit ok."

"Right. Lets go."

"Yeah."

Motoki pulled out and flew down the street.

"Slow the fuck down Motoki."

Motoki laughed.

"Darling, where have you been? We've been waiting for you for some 

time now."

Usagi smiled icily at her mother as she was pecked chastely on each 

cheek.

"Happy Birthday mother, I had some work to do at the hospital before I 

came here. I hope it wasn't any inconvenience."

Her mother smiled back, everything on her face screamed falsity, even 

the cheek bones and lifted eye lids.

"Of course not dear, come take a seat. Rei and I were just discussing 

the issues of your work. You seem to be snowed under. I'm worried 

about you Usagi."

Usagi looked up from slipping out of her coat. She heard the concern in 

her mothers voice and as she stared into the deep blue eyes of her 

mother she saw genuine disquiet. Probably the only true thing left on 

her mothers face.

Usagi smiled inwardly. Her mother had had so many nips and tucks that 

Usagi could no longer recognise the once exuberant woman. Since her 

father had hit big in law and the money streamed in Ilene Hino could not keep herself away from the plastic surgeon. Usagi missed that carefree 

smile and the glowing skin. Now she saw a fake tan, stretched skin and 

a face that wasn't her mothers. But amongst all the plastic there was her 

mothers eyes. Those eyes would never change and Usagi loved them as 

much as she loved her mothers unchangeable heart.

"Don't be silly mother, I'm fine. You knew as well as I did that this 

career would subject me to particular stress levels. I'm dealing fine."

Ilene smiled again. It reached her eyes this time. Usagi smiled back.

"I'm proud of you sweetheart, you know that."

"Of course I do mother. Now, as for you Rei, tell me how is your love 

life. And don't you bring me into the equation, we all know I have no 

time for one night stands and the like."

Rei's face turned bright red as her mother and sister turned their 

sparkling eyes to her. It was just like old times. The three of them 

discussing boys and romps between the sheets. 

Ilene had never sheltered her children. She knew that if she wanted 

them to be smart they had to be well educated. In return the girls put 

their complete trust in their mother. There were no secrets between 

these three. No matter how distant they appeared this mother and 

daughter trio were as close as they could possibly get. 

With a sly look to either side of her, Rei's face lit up.

"He's a killer in the bed. One of New York's elite bachelors. You've 

probably both heard of him. We've been seeing each other for two 

weeks now. He's absolutely gorgeous."

Usagi grinned, pulling her hair into a high pony-tail, kicking her shoes 

off underneath the table. 

This was her home. She had spent the better half of her life here and no 

matter how classy and regal the Hino manor appeared, the residents 

made it a home rather than a house. 

"So," Usagi leaned forward, tucking her legs underneath her body, a 

position she was well used to at her spot at the dinner table.

Her mother sent her a scolding look, she never approved of Usagi's 

'unladylike' positions.

"So?" Rei grinned back, crossing her long slender legs.

"So is it serious?"

Rei's laughter filled the room causing Ilene and Usagi to raise an 

eyebrow at one another. Rei rolled her eyes, "it's purely sex. This man 

has a heart of ice. He's one of the coldest men I've met. In bed he's 

smoldering but our relationship is completely physical."

Ilene laughed at this.

"Oh Rei, one day you'll find a man to treat you right."

Usagi rolled her eyes.

"Mother," Rei glared at Ilene, "He treats me like a princess. Takes me 

out to meet his friends. To benefits. Buys me gifts. I'm just saying, 

both of us are in it strictly for sex. No man has ever given me a better 

orgasm."

The three woman laughed.

He smiled at the butler who took his coat.

"Thank you good man, tell me, where are the ladies of the house? I 

believe we are here to celebrate Lady Hino's birthday."

The butler bowed low for the handsome man.

"Yes sir, come, Madame Rei is expecting you."

The two men stopped mid-walk to hear three very attractive laughs 

coming from the dining room.

The butler led the other man inside only to hear a gasp.

Usagi stood, her mouth hanging open and shock clearly written all over 

her face.

"Usagi what on earth is the matter with you?"

She turned to her mother, than to her sister, "what is HE doing here?"

"Usagi this is the guy I was telling you about. You know him?"

Usagi stared at Rei incredulously.

"You mean…you're…he's…oh god."

Mamoru was as shocked as she was. What the hell was Usagi Tsukino 

doing in the same room as his lover and her mother.

Before he could process another thought, Rei had tangled her fingers 

into his hair and brought him down for a steamy kiss. He was 

embarassed. This was her mother. And Usagi Tsukino. What the hell 

had he gotten himself into?

When Rei finally let him go, sending a wink to her mother and Usagi 

she cleared her throat.

"Mother, Usa, this is Mamoru Chiba. Mamoru, this is my mother, Ilene 

and my sister, Usagi."

By this stage, Usagi had gathered herself and was seated with a 

composed smile. This was precious. She could see the inner turmoil in 

Mamoru's eyes. He was both shocked to see Usagi and embarassed to 

have shared such a passionate kiss in front of Ilene.

He saw that Usagi was smirking at him. She was loving his discomfort. 

It was then that he finally composed himself. 

Mamoru turned to Ilene, kissing her lightly on the cheek while slipping 

a small rectangular box into her hands.

"Happy Birthday, Lady Hino. My apologies for the belatedness, Rei 

only informed me of your birthday last night."

Usagi raised a slender eyebrow. So he had seen Rei after his visit with 

her. This was interesting. Had she stirred his desires so much that he 

needed to release it with Rei? Or was he simply the worlds biggest flirt? 

Nonetheless Usagi did feel a bit used. Of course she had warned herself 

of the pathetic ideas sprouting into her head. That simple caress had 

obviously meant nothing. She was a fool for thinking otherwise.

"Nonsense dear boy, you didn't have to buy me a gift. How charming 

of you."

Ilene's eyes were twinkling. Usagi saw that she loved the attention and 

also realised that she had forgotten to give her mother her own gift.

As she was leaning over to retrieve her purse, she caught Mamoru's eye. 

He raised his eyebrows, seeming to ask for permission to sleep with her 

sister. 

Usagi rolled her eyes in return. She couldn't care less. In truth, she 

found the whole situation very amusing.

As Usagi slipped the small velvet case out of her purse she heard her 

mother gasp.

"Oh my this is absolutely gorgeous. Mamoru you fiend I can't possibly 

accept this from you."

Usagi rested her eyes on the beautiful gold bracelet that hung delicately 

from her mothers wrist, encrusted with diamonds and intricate lacy 

designs flowering around her wrist. It looked almost familiar. Usagi 

shook away the haunting feeling that she had seen that bracelet before.

Mamoru's chuckle brought her out of her reverie.

"Nonsense Mrs. Hino, you only deserve the finest for raising this 

wonderful woman." His hand rested protectively on Rei's knee.

Usagi and Ilene swapped a knowing glance, Usagi fighting hard to 

control the laughter.

"And now for my gift mother," Usagi handed Ilene the small velvet box 

and kissed her softly on the cheek, "Happy Birthday, I want you to wear 

these and stop worrying about me."

Usagi smiled in delight as her mother's eyes flew open to see the 

matching ring and earrings.

"Usagi you little devil they match the bracelet. Are you and Mamoru in 

cohorts."

Ilene's twinkling eyes moved from Usagi to Mamoru with glee.

"Thank you darling. Thank you both, they're all beautiful."

Of course, the matching bracelet. Usagi had purchased the earrings and 

the ring with the cash she had on her. She had wanted to buy the three 

piece set but only had enough cash on her for the earrings and the ring. 

That afternoon she had raced home to retrieve some more cash but on 

her return to the jeweler was informed that a young man had brought the 

bracelet for his girlfriends mother, 'how positively charming, and to 

think my boyfriend didn't even acknowledge the fact that my mother 

was celebrating her birthday only two weeks ago.' Usagi had smiled, a 

little disappointed and simply stated that they were a dying bread those 

charmers. And to think she was talking about Mamoru Chiba.

Ha, Usagi thought dryly, the day Mamoru Chiba is charming is the day 

that I become an astronaut. Usagi turned her gaze to her mother, 

admiring her brand new matching jewelry set and frowned. Although 

stranger things have happened. She shook the thought from her head. 

This was Mamoru she was talking about.

"So Usa, you never told me Mamoru and you knew each other."

Usagi smiled, reverting back to her famed position of curling her legs up 

on the chair.

"You never told me you were seeing him Rei. I honestly had no idea."

Rei shrugged, sipping at her champagne. 

"So how do you two know each other?" Ilene cut in.

Mamoru raised an eyebrow at Usagi. She urged him to go ahead. 

"We work together." 

"Ah so you're a doctor then?" Ilene smiled her dazzling smile.

Mamoru laughed then. His timbre voice made both Usagi and Rei 

squirm in their seats. Everything about him was sensual.

"I'm a lawyer. Usagi has made it clear that she simply detests my 

presence at the hospital but a lot of my clientele are in critical conditions 

when they introduce me to their cases."

"I don't detest it. I just think that you should do your work from your 

own office. Not mine."

"You let him work in your office?"

Usagi turned to her mother with a frown.

"Mother, I'm simply making a generalisation that the hospital is my 

office."

"Oh. Of course. Well I'm sure it's not too bad. I think it's charming 

that he visits his clients while they're sick."

Ilene smiled at Mamoru, who in turn smiled back before turning to 

Usagi with a smirk.

She simply scowled.

"Usagi how many times do I have to tell you, keep your feet off the 

furniture. This is…"

"16th century federation French styling. I know mother. I know."

Usagi slipped her bare feet to the floor noting that Mamoru and Rei 

were chuckling at her.

At that moment the lunch trolley was wheeled in. The four of them 

smiled appreciatively at the chef. Lunch was served. And it was a delicious meal.

"Thank you very much for lunch Lady Hino, it was stunning. As 

expected."

Ilene smiled.

"Call me Ilene dear boy. Rei isn't he charming. Usa? He's charming 

isn't he?"

"About as charming as a door." Ilene frowned at Usagi.

"You'll have to speak up dear, you mutter far too much. What did you 

say?"

Usagi smiled falsely, "I said, I've never met another as charming 

before."

Mamoru grinned at Usagi, raising an eyebrow as he downed the 

remnants of his champagne.

Ilene smiled then. "One big happy family."

Mamoru choked.

It was Usagi's turn to grin.

Rei simply laughed, "Please mother lets be realistic. Two weeks is 

hardly a time to be judging such things."

Ilene smiled wider, "I rose you to be realistic dear. I'm simply pulling 

Mamoru's chain. I know his type. Now if you'll excuse me I have a 

tennis match to prepare for. I'm going to show that Hillary Clinton who 

has the better backhand. Can you believe the nerve of her…"

Ilene had left the room muttering about the New York senator. This 

caused Mamoru to laugh.

Rei stood, taking Mamoru's hand. 

"Come darling, I'll show you the gardens as promised. Would you like 

to join us Usa?"

Usagi raised an eyebrow. "Hardly, I think I'll leave you two alone. I've 

got some patients I need to…"

She was cut off by the shrill beeping. Mamoru reached into his pocket 

pulling out his beeper. Usagi grabbing her own from her purse while 

Rei retrieved hers from the edge of the table.

"Mine." Rei smiled and excused herself as she grabbed her cell phone, 

strode out of the room blowing a kiss to Mamoru. He simply smiled 

dryly at her.

Usagi had taken her seat once again and was slipping on her shoes when 

Mamoru approached, leaning on the table beside her.

"Expecting someone?"

Usagi looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"You seemed in an awful hurry to check your beeper. Waiting for your 

boyfriend to call?"

She laughed. This man was unbelievable.

"Well actually now that you mention it…"

She saw the fire in his eyes as he pushed himself off the table and 

stormed to the doorway.

"I'm on call."

He stopped, turning to face her with a dry stare. She was grinning. 

Ready to laugh.

He simply rolled his eyes, storming out of the room.

She burst into laughter as she collected her purse from the floor. That 

was definitely a point in her favor. 

She walked out of the room to be met with Rei slipping into her coat.

"…he said it was a big case and I had some experience with the client, 

I'm sorry baby I really wanted to show you the gardens." Rei looked 

up, striding to Usagi and kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Unless," she 

mused this "Usa, are you free for half an hour or so?"

Usagi looked from Mamoru to Rei in apprehension. Rei was giving her 

the pleading stare.

"Sure, I guess so. What's up?"

"Great. Mamoru wants to see the gardens. Think you can show him 

around?"

Mamoru smiled uneasily and placed two heavy hands on Rei's 

shoulders.

"It's ok sweetie, I'll see them another time."

"No don't be silly baby, I want you to see them."

Mamoru's jaw clenched. "But honey, I want to see them with you."

"Don't be silly baby. There'll be plenty of chances over the holidays to 

see them together. Just let Usa show you around today. It won't take 

long I promise."

Rei had obviously been oblivious to the biting tone of his voice. Usagi 

heard it loud and clear. It had actually chilled her bones to hear that hint 

of agitation. She suddenly remembered their heated argument in the 

storage room. Usagi cringed slightly.

"Actually Rei it might be better, I've got loads of work to catch up on."

"Usa please, just take a breather for half an hour. It'll be good for you 

both. Some fresh air. You both work way too much. Come on you can 

start out front and walk me to my car."

It was a lost cause with Rei. She simply didn't take anything other than 

what she wanted. She had been like that since childhood. Usagi was 

used to the feeling of utter defeat when it came to any issue with her 

sister.

She looked at Mamoru who was scowling at Rei's back. Rolling her 

eyes, Usagi slipped into her black leather coat and pulled it tight around 

her beige pant suit. She wrapped her beige scarf around her neck, 

finally slipping her cream beret onto her now loose hair.

Mamoru was staring at the petite blonde as she slipped her leather 

gloves on. She looked utterly beautiful wrapped in her protection from 

the snow.

He himself, wore black gloves, scarf and coat. He wasn't one for 

colours although he always looked handsome. He didn't even have to 

try.

"Come on you two we're not getting any younger." Rei slipped her arm 

around Mamoru's waist and beamed at Usagi. Usagi simply smiled 

politely as she slipped her handbag onto her shoulder.

The trio stepped outside into the brisk air. Usagi noted Mamoru's 

chiseled features. He looked furious.

"Hardly the weather for midday strolls. Rei really, I've got a lot of 

work to do as I'm sure Usagi does also."

"Oh hush you spoil sport. Usa is taking you for a walk around the 

gardens and that's that. Stop being such a spoilt brat and for once 

relax." She kissed him softly on the lips and turned to Usagi.

"Christmas is next week Usagi."

Here we go, Usagi thought, the lecture was bound to happen anytime. 

She glanced at Mamoru who stood with his hands buried in the pockets 

of his overcoat. He was staring with dark eyes out at the snow covered 

gardens, his jaw jutting forward. Usagi could see the muscles twitching 

in his neck. Could she really spend the next half hour walking with him alone? God knows.

"What are your plans?" Rei lit up a cigarette.

"To get you to quit. Those things will kill you Rei." Rei saw Usagi's 

disapproving stare and chuckled.

"You're too kind. These are my number one on my list of stress 

relievers."

"They're also number one on your list of things that will kill you."

"How did this get to be about me? What are your plans for Christmas 

Usa?"

Usagi sighed. There was no way to avoid this, she knew it as did Rei. 

By this time Mamoru had approached and wrapped his arms around 

Rei's waist. Grabbing the cigarette from her mouth and taking a long 

drag for himself.

Usagi laughed at this.

"I can just imagine the room filled with smoke after you two have made 

love."

"Usagi." Rei snapped taking the cigarette from her lover.

Usagi just rolled her eyes.

"Stop avoiding my question. What are you plans?"

"So far I have none. Probably just a quiet day at home. Boxing day 

here. And you?"

"You're spending Christmas alone? Oh god Usa you must get sick of 

it."

Usagi was cursing herself inwardly.

"Sick of what?" She was feigning innocence. She was also praying that 

Rei would let it go. 

Rei rolled her eyes.

"Of being alone. You live alone. You spend your free time alone. It's 

like you're destined to be alone."

Usagi saw Mamoru's eyebrow rise. Her eyes shot fire at Rei.

"I don't want to get into it here Rei."

"Why not Usa. I'm worried about you that's all. Why don't you spend 

Christmas with us?"

"Us?"

"Mamoru and me and some of our friends."

"I don't want your pity Rei. I have my own friends. Please can we just 

drop it. You meddle enough in my life as it is."

Rei rolled her eyes again.

"Yes, yes. Alright I'm off. See you tonight baby." She butted her 

cigarette on the railing before flicking it into the garden below.

This prompted yet another of Usagi's disapproving stares.

"Please Usagi, that's what the landscaping staff are for. I'll call you 

alright."

"I hardly think mother pays them to remove your carelessly disposed 

cigarettes from the freshly mulched garden beds."

Rei sighed and kissed Usagi's cheek.

"I'll talk to you soon."

Usagi smiled in defeat. "Of course. It was good to see you."

Rei smiled back and slipped into her car. Usagi and Mamoru watched 

as she sped out the huge driveway until her car was nothing but a cloud 

of dust.

Mamoru snorted.

"She really needs to slow down or she'll end up like Motoki."

Usagi raised an eyebrow.

"I hardly think you're one to talk, I've seen you hooning out of the 

hospital parking lot. In fact we've received numerous complaints from 

our ambulance staff."

Mamoru shot her a leveled glance. Before offering her his arm. "Shall 

we?"

She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm and nodded. "Of 

course."

Together they walked down the elaborate marble steps of the entry way, 

towards the snow covered front gardens.

Neither of them saw Ilene gazing down at them from the window, 

smiling happily. It would be wonderful if such a charming man saw 

something in Usagi other than a bedmate. She knew him and Rei 

wouldn't last. Rei was to surreal for him. He seemed like a true 

romantic. Either that or he was a huge male slut. She hoped it wasn't 

the latter. He would be perfect for Usagi. Ilene smiled softly to herself. 

If only.

They had made their way to the side of the house where the snow 

covered rose garden swayed gently in the crisp wind. Usagi had led 

Mamoru through to the centre of the garden where a beautiful fountain 

was pumping streams of water through the hands of two cherubs. 

"Well this is a very charming garden. Just like me I suppose."

Usagi rolled her eyes. Seating herself beside him, noting that their arms 

were still entwined.

"Naturally."

They sat together in silence, staring at the fountain before them. It 

wasn't so much as an uncomfortable silence more of a peaceful silence. 

A break from the playful teasing. It was Mamoru who finally broke the 

silence.

"So you were married once?"

She frowned.

"Excuse me?"

He turned to her. Her arm still hooked in his.

"Well it all makes sense. Your last name, the fact that you don't wear a 

ring, how you never want to talk about your relationship status," he was 

talking excitedly, "it hurts to talk about it doesn't it?" His voice softened 

at that.

Before she let him go any further, Usagi had burst into laughter. It was 

his turn to frown.

"What? What's so funny?"

When she finally simmered down the giggles she spoke.

"I was never married Mamoru. God, I've never even come close to that. 

Rei didn't tell you that we're not real sisters?"

Mamoru's brow creased.

"You were adopted then?"

She chuckled, "No. No. Rei is my step-sister. Ilene is my real mother 

and Rei's step-mother. When I was quite young my father…" she 

caught herself. "Mother remarried Rupert Hino." She smiled then, "I 

kept my fathers name. Mother changed hers. Rei is Rupert's daughter, 

of his first marriage."

"Ah. So your mother married into money then? How convenient." He 

was smiling dryly. 

Usagi's soft smile dropped, she yanked her arm out of his and glared at 

him. 

"My mother and Rupert are very much in love. He was a poor man 

when they met. They built their lives together. Everything they did was 

for Rei and I."

Mamoru stood, raising his hands in defense. 

"Woah, easy Usagi. I just assumed. It seemed like the typical 

scenario."

"It's none of your damn business anyway. And what the hell are you 

doing looking at my fingers in the first place."

Mamoru laughed at this. She was astounding. Looking at her, worked 

up like this really got his blood boiling. What the hell is wrong with 

me. This woman is like the royal ice queen. Mamoru smirked at the 

thought of melting the ice queen from the inside out. God he wanted to 

get between her legs.

"It's not funny. My god. You're impossible." Usagi had calmed down 

considerably, taking a seat once again beside Mamoru.

He was smiling at her. She hated that.

"I'm impossible? You're the impossible one. Spilling out your life 

story than claiming it's none of my business."

"You don't know the half of it. And it is none of your business."

"It is if I'm involved with your sister."

Usagi snorted in disbelief.

"Your relationship with my sister has nothing to do with this. Nor do 

any of your other string of women."

He raised an eyebrow. Did he hear a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Why Usagi, I had no idea you were…"

He was interrupted by the same shrill beeping. He cursed his pager, 

ready to smash the damn thing against the stone bench he sat on. 

Mamoru loved to argue with Usagi. Almost as much as he loved to see

her worked up, with that hint of colour in her cheeks and her features 

creased in anger and the way her jaw stood out and…he mentally 

reprimanded himself. What the hell was he doing analysing a woman 

that way. Never in his life had he ever paid that much attention to a 

woman.

His pager was clear.

"Duty calls." Usagi tossed her own pager back into her hand bag, 

standing as she wrapped her coat tighter around her body.

Mamoru closed his eyes, steadily counting to ten, urging the strain in his 

pants to calm itself.

"That's a shame," he said standing, thanking the coat for hiding his 

otherwise obvious arousal, "I was about to state…"

"I know damn well what you were about to state and you can bet your 

bottom dollar that you are way off track."

Mamoru grinned.

"Of course I am. The very idea is preposterous."

Usagi cursed herself for the rapid increase of her heartbeat as he 

grinned.

"Naturally."

She was totally oblivious as to how her arm had somehow tangled into 

his again, this time their hands finding each other. She did, however, 

note the warmth that spread through her body as their fingers entwined.

She stopped briefly to dig through her purse for her cell. He stood a 

little in front of her, staring at the garden. She looked at his back as she 

dialed the hospital. God he had a great ass.

*~MUAH~*

__

When everything is gone, there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down, because I'm already here.


	3. Chapter Three Fighting Dirty

GAH! I am so sorry. . My poor darling readers. Forgive me. 

I have been through hell and back these past couple of months 

and not once have I touched this story. Forgive me. My exams. 

My life. My stress. My birthday -.- Everything caught up. But 

here I am with the third installment. God. I am so sorry! . 

Poo. Can you ever forgive me? :( I am a bad author! Anyway. 

Hope you enjoy this next chapter. It's not as long as the last 

one I promise ^^;; MUAH!

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rated: R (For language)

****

Stark White Christmas

It had been a long day. After her departure from the manor, 

Usagi had spent the rest of the afternoon at the hospital where, 

after she had checked up on a distressed patient, it seemed that 

emergency operation after emergency op seemed to just roll 

into her operating theatre.

She had just put her feet up, switched on the TV and sunken 

into her couch when she heard a brisk knock at her front door.

She closed her eyes, mentally urging the visitor to leave.

Two more knocks.

Usagi groaned loudly, pushing herself onto two sore feet to 

make her way to the front door.

Three more knocks this time, then what sounded like a male 

grunt.

"Just a second."

Usagi looked down at her attire. Sweat pants resting on her 

hips and a sports crop top. She prayed that it was Makoto or 

someone close.

Closing her eyes, she grasped the handle of the door and swung 

it open along with her eyes. Her eyebrow instantly shot 

upwards.

"Mmmm you look great even in sweats."

Motoki stood, with a lopsided grin, a packet of potato chips and 

a six pack of beer.

"Motoki what are you doing here?" Usagi closed the door behind 

her as he brushed through to her lounge room.

"I was bored, Mamoru is brooding in his apartment and I can't 

get laid."

She pouted at him, taking no notice of his growing arousal. The 

site of her midriff must have been too much for him.

"I'm hurt. I come after Mamoru on the possible lay list?"

Motoki laughed heartily. "What can I say? Mamoru just treats 

me like the naughty boy I am." 

Usagi rolled her eyes, pushing Motoki onto the couch, snatching 

the packet of potato chips from his hand.

"Ok that's enough, I think those mental images have grossed 

me out enough."

He winked at her, "just remember I like to be on top and my 

bodies hotter than Mamoru's."

Usagi laughed, "how could I leave those important factors out."

"Exactly."

He opened a bottle of beer for Usagi, passing it over to her 

before grabbing the remote and flicking through the channels. 

He needed a distraction from Usagi's body. He wanted to be her 

friend yes. Her good friend, but he couldn't help but feel 

aroused by her. She was, as Mamoru put it, gorgeous.

"How was work?" He didn't dare take his eyes off the TV as she 

took a long swig of the beer. It would have been too much for 

him.

"Oh you know. My feet are killing me, my head is pounding and 

if I see one more emergency stretcher wheeled into my theatre I 

think I'll give up surgery and live in the mountains as a hermit."

"Christmas time huh?"

"Oh yeah. God I hate Christmas."

"I hear you. The benefits, the crowds, the shopping, the 

family."

"Don't remind me."

They looked at each other before laughing.

"Hey I know reflexology, want me to rub your feet?"

The offer was too good to pass up. Usagi's feet were literally 

throbbing. She grinned at her new friend, standing to retrieve 

some massage lotion.

"You are way too kind." Usagi called from the bathroom.

She emerged wearing her white boxers that were short enough 

to be classed as hot pants. Thanking the good lord that she had 

shaved that morning, Usagi tossed Motoki the towel and the 

massage lotion before resting her back against the arm of the 

couch and resting her feet in his lap. Motoki chuckled as she 

wiggled her cherry painted toes.

"You have no idea how much I've been lusting after one of 

these." Usagi closed her eyes as Motoki rubbed the lotion into 

her sore feet.

"Glad to be of service." Motoki switched positions, kicking off 

his shoes and leaning against the opposite arm rest, crossing his 

legs beneath Usagi's feet.

She was moaning when the phone rang. Her eyes shot open 

and Motoki chuckled. He was pressing the points that connected 

to her temples.

"Lucky, I was scared you were going to orgasm for a second."

Usagi smiled sarcastically. "Ha, ha. I happen to be very vocal 

about pleasurable things. You should hear me when I eat 

mangoes."

"Now that is something I'd love to see. For now, answer your 

phone."

Usagi rolled her eyes. "Yes mummy." She grabbed the portable 

phone from the coffee table, "Tsukino speaking."

"I gathered that much when I dialed your number."

Usagi laughed.

"Mamoru, what a pleasant surprise. I thought you were 

spending the night with Rei."

Motoki resumed his massage.

"I was, she blew me off. Said she ran into an old college friend 

and was having dinner with him or something."

"So you called me?"

Mamoru heard the uncertainty in her voice.

"Yeah. I could do with some mental stimulation. You're the 

only woman besides Mizuno who comes close to my mental 

level."

Usagi laughed at this. "Well perhaps you should have called Dr. 

Mizuno and arranged a meeting. You could get laid and have an 

adult conversation at the same time. Now that's killing two 

birds with one stone."

Mamoru toweled off his hair, still dripping wet from the cold 

shower. He had been angered by Rei's sudden disinterest. He 

needed a release for the pent up desire Usagi had stirred in him. 

He was looking forward to a night in bed with Rei but she had to 

go off with her old friend.

"I could have done that, unfortunately for me however, Mizuno 

and I are no longer 'fucking'."

Usagi moaned as Motoki touched a tender spot. Motoki by now 

had gotten used to her sensuous moans and was slowly 

controlling his arousal. Mamoru on the other hand had just 

faintly heard it. The effects of the cold shower completely 

dissipated as he stared at his naked body, his manhood coming 

to life.

"That's too bad. What happened? Did she threaten your male 

ego?"

Mamoru laughed. "No there was no threatening of the ego. She 

was getting too involved with me. The woman flew from Japan 

to New York just to spend a night with me."

"A little close for comfort then eh?"

"You got it."

She moaned again.

He tried to ignore it.

"So what are your plans for the evening? I'm sure you're all 

dressed up ready to shoot out for a night on the town." Usagi 

winked at Motoki who chuckled softly.

Mamoru unfortunately heard this too. Jealousy surged through 

his body. His fists clenched together. "No, actually I just got 

out of the shower. Is someone there with you Usagi?"

"What?"

She moaned once again.

Mamoru thanked god that she didn't hear the slamming of his 

fist against the wall. Or that she couldn't see the hole in the 

wall he had just made, or the small cut that appeared on his 

knuckle, trailing blood along the back of his hand.

"You're not alone are you?"

Usagi frowned.

"No, is that a problem?"

"Who's with you?"

Usagi grinned.

"Motoki. And you?"

He was tempted to slam his fist into the wall once again, 

however he made do with tightening his grip on the receiver, his 

knuckles turning white. His teeth clenched together as his jaw 

jutted forward. Mamoru could feel the muscles in his neck 

twitching. He was furious.

"Something wrong Mamoru?"

"I'm fine." He all but growled.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Perhaps I should go…you sound angry."

"No. I'm peachy fucking keen Usagi. How about you?"

She smiled then. "I'm feeling divine."

"Is that so? I wonder why."

"It's simple really."

"I'm sure it is."

"Oh yes. Motoki simply gives the best foot massages. He 

knows reflexology apparently. Just what I needed after a long 

day at work."

She could practically hear his shock.

He felt the relief washing over him.

"It's a shame you can't be here, I'd be willing to practice my 

foot massaging techniques on you."

Mamoru smirked at this.

"I don't think I got the invite."

Usagi laughed throatily.

"Oh I was going to send one out but I was under the impression 

that you would be spending the night with Rei. Unfortunate that 

her college friend was in town. Did she say his name?"

Mamoru shrugged.

"It sounded like a rock. Some hippie name or the like. Probably 

a child of the 70's."

She laughed. He loved the sound of her husky laughter. It sent 

shivers through him.

"Jadeite?"

"That's the one."

"Wow, haven't seen him since Rupert blew up at him."

Mamoru's eyebrow rose.

"Do tell."

"It's a long story. Quite boring really."

Mamoru smiled.

"Don't bother, I've got some work to finish up. I'll talk to you 

later Usagi."

Usagi closed her eyes. She loved the way he said her name. 

Like it was a goddess that he worshipped. She shook herself 

inwardly. Why did he make her feel so giddy?

"Yes. I'll speak to you then. Thank you for calling. I hope I 

was stimulation enough."

When he laughed she almost jumped. He was sending her 

insane. She had never desired a man the way she did him. She 

knew this hidden desire was dangerous. He would hurt her. 

She knew this. But she couldn't help but feel that shudder as he 

spoke.

"Believe me, you were ample stimulation. It was a nice change 

from the perky dimwitted girls asking me what I'm wearing and 

the like."

She grinned, "trust me I've been dying to know. It's been on 

the tip of my tongue the entire conversation."

He heard the sarcastic tone in her voice. He completely ignored 

it. "Absolutely nothing."

Usagi frowned.

"Excuse me?"

His laughter was the only answer. He could hear her shock and 

bafflement. He loved it.

"Goodnight Usagi."

"Thank you so much for the mental images." Her tone was dry.

"You're most welcome. Pleasant dreams."

"You too Mamoru. I'm quite disappointed though."

Mamoru raised an eyebrow.

"Why's that?"

"I was so ready to tell you that I just got out of the indoor pool 

in my white triangle bikini. I'm still dripping wet."

Mamoru slammed his eyes shut, "….."

"Night Mamoru. Sleep well."

Mamoru groaned inwardly, "That's a challenge in itself."

She was grinning when she hung up.

"You're going to send that man insane."

Usagi laughed once again. And to think these were the same 

two men she was arguing with just days ago.

"No one asked you massage boy, now keep rubbing."

Motoki grinned. "Yes mistress."

Heaven. It was the best word to describe this head on attack of 

her neglected body. Two women working on her feet. Two 

more on her hands and one on her hair. This is exactly what 

she needed.

"This is the life. And it only gets better, next on the list is 

shopping. We need a dress, shoes, accessories, jewelry, make-

up…"

"Mako please. Lets just enjoy this for now. I'm not even sure 

I'm going to show up to this gala. You know I hate benefits."

Usagi cringed at the look on Makoto's face.

"You hate everything now-a-days."

Makoto must have seen the small smile creep across Usagi's 

face. She raised a questioning eyebrow.

"What? You've met a new man haven't you?"

Makoto leant closer to Usagi, causing the women working on her 

hands frown. She settled back, looking at Usagi eagerly with a 

sideways glance.

"Perhaps."

"Perhaps?!?!"

"No. I haven't. I've just made a new friend."

"A new male friend?"

Usagi sighed. Her friends were impossible.

"Yes a new male friend and that's all we'll ever be."

"What's he like?"

"He's like you with a dick, what do you think?"

Makoto shot her a reprimanding glance.

"Usa you need to speak like a lady."

"Why? I'll speak however I like."

"Stubborn." 

"Who is?"

"You are!"

Usagi simply rolled her eyes. She just wished for once her 

friends wouldn't meddle in her affairs. She was sick to death of 

the love advice, the life advice, the fashion advice even the diet 

advice.

"Well I was going to tell you his name but if you're going to be 

like that then I think I'll keep it to myself."

Makoto hung her head.

"I'm sorry. You just…urgh I'm trying to help you Usa and you 

throw it back in my face."

"No. No see that's the thing. Mako I don't need your help. I 

just want to do things my way. Why can't everyone let me do 

things my way. You got the chance. Minako got the chance. 

Mother got the chance and Rei keeps getting chances. Please 

for once just let me do something by myself."

Makoto smiled a serene smile.

"You're right you know."

"I know."

"We just don't want to see you make the mistakes we make."

Usagi winked at Makoto.

"Let me fuck up every now and then. That way it won't happen 

again. Let me learn from my own mistakes."

The grin on Makoto's face was all the prompting she needed. 

"Motoki Norton is his name. Would you believe the jerk off is 

studying to be a surgeon. We actually have a lot in common."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the 'surprise' visit on 

Tuesday?"

"Sure does."

"Wow. Who'd of thought. Now you just have to get as chummy 

with Mamoru Chiba and you're set."

Usagi laughed at the thought. 

"He's sleeping with Rei."

"Motoki?"

"Mamoru."

Usagi saw Makoto's shock. She grinned at this.

"Well shit. I never knew he was getting cozy with your sister. 

I'd never have forced you into this if I did. Oh gosh, Rei doesn't 

know about my plans does she? I'd hate for him to get an idea 

and break her heart."

A small chuckle was all Makoto's questioning eyebrow needed 

before it rose once again.

"They have a simple arrangement. Their relationship is purely 

based on sex. Honestly Mako can you imagine such a thing? 

Rei just, God I don't know she's so blaze, letting a man use her. 

I'd never be able to sleep with a man like that. I'd feel like a 

cheap whore."

The woman working on her toenails looked up at this. She 

grinned as she popped a bubble of gum in her mouth.

"You probably haven't had that world shattering orgasm yet 

then eh? And if this Mamoru Chiba is half the man he looks on 

the TV or the magazines say he is then I'd say this Rei character 

is a very lucky girl."

Usagi looked down on the woman who wore a goofy grin. She 

laughed heartily. "Perhaps that might be, but Mamoru Chiba is 

a selfish, arrogant, womanising man whore."

Usagi watched as Makoto winked at the beautician. "Don't get 

her started on Mamoru Chiba, we'll be here all day otherwise."

All the women burst into laughter.

Usagi was doing her rounds, she had an operation that 

afternoon and had twelve patients to check up on in the space of 

an hour before she had a meeting scheduled with the hospital 

board then prep for the operation followed by a summary of the 

operation which would have to be hand delivered to the board 

before she knocked off. Or did the meeting come after six check 

ups then another six following. 

Usagi stopped mid walk to ponder this. She'd been working so 

long she'd almost forgotten her schedule. 

Shaking her head in wonder, she trotted over to the wall phone 

and punched in her office extension. 

"Dr. Tsukino's office, Naru speaking."

"Sweetie it's me. I've done it again."

Usagi heard the bubbling laughter of her secretary.

"You really need to cut back on the late nights Doc." 

"I know, I know."

"Got it, you got twelve check ups, meeting, op, report, deliver 

and I just got a message from a Mr. Cheeba?"

"Cheeba?" 

"I think so. I can't read the writing. Here let me say the 

message. 'Care for an intellectual chat? I'll be waiting for you 

at the Berlin Bar at 6pm. Don't be late. Mamoro Cheeba.' 

Sounds like you got yourself a date Doc. Guys got some messy 

writing though."

"That's Mamoru Chiba, Naru. Can you note that into my diary. 

If he drops by again tell him I'm on call and I'll have to see what 

I can do. Get his cell phone number would you?"

"Will do Doc. See you in a few hours?"

"A few plus a few more. I'm flat out for the rest of the 

afternoon. Take messages for me yeah?"

"That's what I'm paid for."

"You're a gem."

She hung up. So he wanted to meet with her. Rei must have 

been serious when she said she'd drop everything for Jadeite. 

Even an evening with Mamoru Chiba. Interesting. A chill ran 

across her neck. She couldn't shake the feeling that someone 

was watching her.

Turning suspiciously, Usagi scanned the crowded hallway.

"Behind you dear."

He was standing practically pressed up against her. His breath 

tickling her neck. Usagi closed her eyes and counted to ten.

"I'm on call this evening."

"I heard your conversation to your secretary."

"Do you always eavesdrop?"

"Only on beautiful woman."

She blushed at this. He was doing crazy things to her body. 

She felt an unknown pulse in her stomach. Had she never felt 

this kind of desire?

"Did you do something to your hair?"

They were standing so close to one another that she felt heat 

from his body. The hallway was beyond busy. His body was 

pressed against hers. Her back resting on the metal shelf of 

medical items. 

She had to control her legs from failing her as he leant in and 

took a long sniff of her hair. Usagi could see the stubble on his strong jaw line. The muscles beneath his navy shirt. She 

wanted him so badly.

"I had a treatment this morning. Makoto practically dragged me 

to the salon."

"Smells great." He purred this into her ear. sending shivers 

throughout her body.

"Thanks."

She raised her hands to rest on his chest and pushed 

backwards.

"I'm flat-out this afternoon. Perhaps we can talk tonight?"

"Only if you meet with me."

She frowned. Why did she feel this nervousness? Why did she 

feel that she couldn't trust herself alone with him.

"I'll have to see. I'm on call. It's Christmas time."

"Meet with me."

There was something demanding about his tone. She felt like a 

child.

"Mamoru."

"Usagi."

She rolled her eyes.

"Fine. But if I get any shit from this, it's your head on the 

chopping board."

That rouge grin was enough to send her insane. She counted to 

ten once again.

"I'll see you at 6 Usagi."

"Yes. See you then."

She walked away shaking her head. Why did he make her feel 

so…helpless? This man was doing wicked things to her.

He was staring at the doorway like a hawk. Waiting for her. 

Thinking about her. Imagining her in his bed.

He shook his head as images of them fled his thoughts. This 

woman was stirring something in him that he'd never felt. It 

couldn't be the hinting of love could it? That is not possible. 

Mamoru Chiba doesn't love. What would happen if New York's 

number one bachelor of the year fell in love.

Chaos. He told himself calmly. He wasn't falling for Usagi. He 

was simply lusting after her because she was one of the only 

women who had resisted his charms and hints so far. That and 

she was gorgeous.

She was also twenty minutes late. Usagi Tsukino was going to 

get it the minute she walked into that door. That is if she even 

bothers to show up.

Mamoru couldn't help but feel that touch of despair at the 

thought of being stood up. She wouldn't dare do that to him 

would she?

He tensed as he felt two delicate hands rest on his shoulder, a 

hot breath tickling his ear.

"Forgive me. I'm twenty minutes late."

He swallowed.

"Forgiven. Care for a drink?"

"I'd love one."

He gestured for the waiter, grabbing her hands in his own and 

leading her to sit beside him.

"Your hands are soft. You got the whole bit didn't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You mentioned your friend took you to the salon."

"Oh yes. Hands, feet and hair. The whole bit. I was in bad 

shape apparently. I think the beautician was just jealous. 

People must have seen me with you."

He laughed at this. She was the only woman that could make 

him laugh. What was happening to him?

"Sir?"

"I'll take a cognac, straight."

"And for the lady?"

Usagi smiled.

"Scotch on the rocks."

"Right away."

Mamoru couldn't help but feel that sharp bite of jealousy when 

the waiter smiled at Usagi, kissing her hand regally. He hated 

that another man made her giggle like that.

"I'll be willing to bet that that kid scuttles back behind the 

counter and brags to his friends that he's tuning me so well that 

by the end of his shift I'll be chaffing at the bit to get into bed 

with him."

Was he seriously jealous? He definitely had nothing to worry 

about.

"That or he's leaking pre-cum as we speak."

They both laughed, staring happily into each others eyes. When 

was the last time a woman had made him feel so at ease? Had 

a woman even made him feel the least bit relaxed ever?

"God, it's been a long day."

Mamoru nodded hastily in agreement. The Christmas lawsuits 

were becoming bland and repetitive.

"Your drinks."

Usagi thanked the waiter with a dazzling smile. He turned to 

walk briskly back to the bar where he then proceeded to eagerly 

speak with his colleagues.

Mamoru laughed at this, Usagi simply smiling knowingly.

"So tell me Usagi, does your work become as hectic as mine 

during the Christmas season?"

Her moan of anguish was all the answer he needed.

"It's crazy, we dismiss two patients, we sign in four more. I'm 

practically working 24 hours 7 days a week and my superior is crawling up my back because I lost the fucken Santa Hat we 

were all issued. Nevermind the fact that I'm a surgeon and it is 

way beyond procedure to wear a fucken red hat while 

transplanting an overweight, diabetic, 47 year old males heart."

"Yeah, it's pretty much the same scene at the office."

She raised an eyebrow at him while he smirked. Rolling her 

eyes, Usagi stirred her drink nonchalantly with her straw, 

watching as the ice bobbed up and down.

The silence settled as the pair sunk into their own thoughts. 

Usagi noted to herself that he'd taken his tie off. How did she 

notice that? She was going crazy.

Both realised that it was becoming quite an uncomfortable 

silence.

"So how's Rei?"

"When do you go on vacation?"

Usagi smiled shyly, looking up at him through her eyelashes. 

"You first."

"I said, when do you go on vacation?"

She blinked, when did she go on vacation? "To be honest, I 

have no idea. I'm pretty sure I have Christmas day off, maybe 

New Years. Not much but it's something."

He frowned. She worked far too much. Usagi saw his 

disapproving frown.

"Urgh. Don't you start on me too. I chose this career knowing 

the time I'd have to put in. Why can't anyone see that?"

"Because we care about you."

He'd taken her hand as he said this, caressing her fingers with 

his own. He was so warm. So passionate. His eyes so deep. 

Why was her heart speeding up that way. Why was she 

blushing? Why did she care so much about what he'd just said? 

She averted her eyes from his. He was making her feel so hot.

"Please, you are the last person to be saying that."

Anger flared into his eyes. She saw it and cringed.

"Why?"

His biting tone didn't break her spirit.

"Come on Mamoru, a week ago the only way you'd stare at me 

was with a glare**.** Now you're all over me, no doubt trying to get 

me into bed."

She couldn't help but cringe inwardly when his glare hardened 

and his jaw jutted forwards.

"Right. I see, so it's okay for Motoki to be your brand new chum 

but when I try to get the least bit close to you and admit that I 

care about you, I'm accused of trying to get laid. Why so easy 

on Motoki, Usagi? Got a thing for him do you?"

This time her glare matched his own.

"It's none of your fucking business. For your information I set 

Motoki straight too. You two aren't exactly the most trust 

worthy people with my heart. Don't even try to fucking tell me 

that you care about me while you're fucking my sister and god 

knows who else. Probably the whole female population of New 

York."

"So I can't have a relationship with your sister and still care for 

you?"

She shook her head. He was pitiful.

"What you do with my sister is no relationship. You probably 

haven't even had a real relationship in your life."

"So you're saying I'm incapable of love?"

"I'm saying no such thing."

"Well you damn well might as well have."

Usagi scoffed. This man who had sparked her deepest desires 

just minutes ago was now flaring her most heated anger.

"You know I just can't understand it. Why did you pick me for a 

bed mate when you know that I'm completely uninterested…oh 

this is rich. This is very rich."

He rolled his eyes.

"Indulge me."

Usagi ignored his sarcasm.

"You know, I don't understand why I didn't pick up on it 

sooner."

"On what?"

His tone was as cold as ice. She ignored this also.

"You're keen on me because I'm probably one of the only 

woman who has shown no interest in you. I'm a conquest. 

Priceless. You really are pathetic Mamoru."

He glared at her, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"I suggest you leave Usagi."

She rolled her eyes.

"Believe me, I had no intention of spending anymore time than I 

have to with you. Oh excuse me waiter."

Usagi snatched the glass of wine from the young waiters tray 

and threw it in Mamoru's face. He called out as the wine seeped 

into his clothes. Her look of triumph boiled his blood.

"Don't treat me like your toys Mamoru. I'm too smart for that. 

You should have known it. I'm insulted at your conception of 

me. I hope you're embarrassed. I hope you're ashamed. 

You're a pathetic excuse for a man and the only thing you're 

good at is poking around in vulnerable women."

Usagi turned to the dumbstruck waiter.

"Put the wine on his bill and he'll be paying you our check 

doubled as a tip."

She left with the entire occupants of the bar staring at her in 

disbelief. Had she really just said that to Mamoru Chiba?

*~MUAH~*

__

When everything is gone, there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down, because I'm already here.


	4. Chapter Four It's beginning to look a lo...

Ok, well again, apologies for this late chapter but it's not my fault :D ff.net was down so I had no way of accessing my uploading functions so =P! *laughs* Again, a huge thank you to all of the reviewers, especially the emailed reviews. You darlings are precious. Totally precious. Anyway. I hope that you enjoy this next chapter, it's just starting to get good ne? Ne? NE?!??? *laughs* Kidding. I'm not neurotic. Now, bearing in mind I am almost at the end of my already written material so . what does that mean? It means I'm going to have to pull my finger out and finish this bugger. But, I have it all mapped out with room for extra bits so it shouldn't be long my pretties :D Thank you all for your support. OH YES. And a huge big thank you to Chibi-Chan Lain who has uploaded my fic onto her site. I recommend all of you go check her out, she's got some wonderful romance pieces up here's the link www.geocities.com/chibi_chan_lain/Main.html And to all of those readers who are unhappy with the language, what can I say? I'm trying to capture a mature group of career women/men. It's real life. I'm trying to make this as natural as possible. Plus *points frantically at the rating and laughs in a childish display of told-you-soness* At this point I feel I should be sticking my tongue out saying Nyah Nyah Nyah-Nyah Nyah! *laughs* But. It's my fic. I write it how I want it =P

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: 

Rated: R for language

**Stark White Christmas**

****

"You didn't?"

"I did."

Both Nephlyte and Kunzite burst into laughter. Usagi had just finished the tale of her evening with Mamoru. Minako and Makoto stared at each other in utter shock.

"Usagi you haven't had a date in months and you finally get one and act the way you do. No wonder you're the single one of the group."

"Mako, it wasn't a date. I was reluctant to go in the first place. Would you rather be having a conversation about how the bastard broke my heart two months later by ditching me when he thought I was poked out?"

Makoto sighed. "Of course not. It's just that Mamoru would have been perfect for you."

Usagi scoffed at her friend. Was she crazy?

"No Mako, you know I don't just go for looks."

"But it's not just looks."

"Mako how would you know? My perception of Mamoru Chiba is hardly anything I'd be proud to base a relationship on. There is no way I would ever give my heart to him."

Minako reached across the table to squeeze Usagi's hand reassuringly.

"I'm glad you told him where to go Usa. He's an overgrown mammal."

Usagi smiled. "Glad one of you two has your senses."

Makoto rolled her eyes. "Just don't go crying to me when you realise what a great catch you threw away."

"Ha. Trust me Mako, that'll never happen. I'm almost glad. Since that night he's left me alone at the hospital. My job is almost peaceful now. To a degree at least."

Her friends smiled.

"As long as your happy Usa." Makoto looked so tired. Usagi wished that for once she could just stop worrying about her. It was sweet but it was unnecessary.

"So who are you going to go to the gala with?"

"Uhyeah about that, I'm probably not going to be attending."

"Usagi."

"Makoto."

"You promised me."

"But what's the fun if I have no date? And I'm not exactly going to show up' Mamoru as you put it by attending dateless and frumped to the max."

"Go with Motoki." 

Usagi raised an eyebrow. It was definitely an option to consider. And to be honest with herself she was looking forward to get dolled up and deny Mamoru any pleasure whatsoever.

"You knowthat could be a good idea."

Makoto grinned.

"Just think how steamed Mamoru would get when you show up looking like a million dollars on the arm of his best friend."

Usagi grinned back at Makoto. "He'd be furious."

"It'd be priceless to see."

Usagi mused this. It would be a great opportunity to throw everything in Mamoru's face. How she'd love to see his look when she walked in by Motoki's side. This would definitely be fun.

"I take it you'll be attending the hospital gala this Saturday Motoki?"

Usagi and Motoki were sitting side by side by the lake in Central Park, enjoying a picnic in the snow covered gardens.

"For sure. I wouldn't miss that for the world."

"Why's that?"

Usagi had the conversation planned in her head. She'd casually bring up the gala, idle chat would follow then, oh so innocent, she'd ask Motoki if there was anyone he had in mind to attend with.

"It's going to be my first official date with Ami."

Usagi nearly choked on the slice of apple she was eating.

"You're seeing Dr. Mizuno?"

"Yeah, we met for dinner one evening and really hit it off without Mamoru there."

"Butshe was sleeping with your best friend."

"Yeah and I plan on treating her a little bit better than that."

He really sounded like he cared for her. Usagi smiled bitterly. Her plans for the gala drifted further away.

"Something wrong, Usa?"

She shook her head. "No. Just work, stressing me out you know."

"I think I'm just starting to hit the tip of the iceberg."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Well since I've grown closer to Ami, we speak every night and she's been telling me her workload. I can't even begin to imagine working as much as she does."

"I think I live it."

He laughed, slinging his arm around Usagi's shoulder and squeezing her.

"I'm backing you up every step of the way."

She smiled at this. He was a great guy beneath his cocky exterior. She was proud to call Motoki her friend.

"Thanks. It's nice to have a friend who doesn't nag. I appreciate it."

He kissed the top of her head.

"Don't mention it. Since I've met you life has changed."

"Yeah, you don't hang out with Mamoru as much."

"True." He said this with laughter. She smiled. He had no idea how serious she really was.

"So who is so lucky as to be taking you to the gala?"

Usagi scoffed, "no one. I'm not even sure if I'll be going."

"Don't be silly. Come with Ami and I."

She shook her head. "No Motoki, I don't want to infringe on your first date."

He smiled. "If you change your mind"

"I'll call you."

"I could set you up with a friend."

"That sounds almost tempting, however I know who your friends are."

He laughed again.

"No Mamoru I promise."

"It's okay Motoki, if I want a date I'm capable of finding one for myself."

"Sure you are."

She punched him lightly in the arm.

"Don't use that tone with me Motoki."

"What'll you do?"

Usagi grinned devilishly as she scooped up a handful of snow and hurled it into Motoki's face, starting an all out snowball war.

It had been two days since the confrontation, as Mamoru liked to call it. He was still absolutely furious with Usagi. She had not only ruined one of his favourite Armani shirts, she'd also managed to utterly humiliate him in front of New York's finest.

Yet beneath all the anger that was accumulating into a pounding headache, Mamoru felt a sharp pain. Could he really have been hurt by her? He told himself over and over it wasn't possible. Women don't toy with his feelings. It was the other way around. 

Throwing back a shot of vodka, Mamoru strode to the phone, staring at her number scrawled carelessly onto a piece of message paper.

Motoki and himself had pleaded with Usagi's secretary for almost a half hour to get her address and phone number. He wanted to call her. To hear her voice and laugh at her witty comments.

Mamoru slammed his eyes shut. He was so furious with her and still felt impelled to be with her. This woman was sending him over the edge.

In a rage, he smashed the shot glass against the wall, watching as the vodka poured down the intricate designs. What was wrong with him?

"Damn it Usagi."

Yanking off his tie, Mamoru stalked to the phone and dialed Rei's number.

Two hours. It was all she had left. Usagi had been working flat out since 5am. It was now 4pm. She had gathered from the stern look of her superior that the board was not so happy about her misplacing of the Santa Hat. She would have to buy a new one no doubt.

Usagi checked her patient list and almost groaned. A new patient had just been brought in with an almost unpronounceable name. She hated that.

Sighing loudly, Usagi made her way to room 3M.

The door was decorated in red white and blue colours, she smiled at this. Definitely a patriot. Stepping inside, Usagi saw a man in his late 50's, thick dark hair hanging to his shoulders, curling about his tanned face. He had a thin moustache accompanied by a small goatee. Who did he remind her of?

"Good afternoon Mr. Irving."

The man's eyes lit up at the sight of Usagi. His smile warm and recognition in his eyes.

"Usa?."

How did he know her name? His accent was definitely French. Not an American but a Frenchman. She frowned at this. Usagi didn't know any Frenchmen.

"HelloDar-tagnan is it?"

He laughed, a thick joyous laugh. Sitting upright in his bed, his arms opening wide.

"Usagi Tsukino, you look at me as if I'm a stranger. Come give your Uncle Dar a hug."

She smiled a little wearily. Did she know this man? Uncle Darof course! Uncle Dar! Her mothers dear friend from France. Oh she had spent many summers adventuring through his vineyards. What on earth was he doing in her hospital? She smiled widely this time, briskly making her way to beside his bed. Her arms wrapped around his body with ease. Laughter escaping both of them.

"What are you doing here? Oh Dar, it's been forever. How are you?"

He chuckled, smoothing her mussed hair. Kissing her softly on the forehead.

"I've been better my little Bunny. You have grown to be a very beautiful woman. Just like I knew. We knew you would."

"I heard about Toni. I'm so sorry Dar. You were lucky to have such a beautiful wife. So tell me about your illness."

She untangled herself from his arms and began to check his vitals.

"The pain, it is the same pain. Antoinette, she made me promise to come to Americas and see you, Bunny, get medical attention that I need. I will not fail her. If it should mean I stay on this world without her longer than so be it. Her promise is all that is keeping me alive."

Usagi stepped up beside his bed. Taking his hand in her own and measuring his pulse.

"I'm sorry Uncle Dar, do you have pain in your chest?"

"Oui, like the devil himself is squeezing my heart."

Usagi frowned. Cancer, she guessed, maybe a tumor.

"Headaches?"

"Ah oui, like glass shredding my very mind."

His descriptions were all she needed. This was definitely a tumor.

"And did you have a doctor in France?"

"Oui, he say to show my Bunny doctor the test results. In my briefcase."

Usagi nodded, taking the case from the floor. Inside was a file, marked, URGENT. She opened the file, confirming what she had believed. The French doctor also diagnosed the tumor, stating that the medical equipment in their small town by the vineyards was not efficient enough for Dartagnan's operation.

She also noted that it had been four months since that doctors diagnosis. Alarms were screaming in her head. It was possible that she was too late to save this man's life. In the case of a severe tumor it could be a matter of days.

"I see by your frown the news is not good."

She looked up at him, his smiling face, he looked so happy.

"No, not good at all. Do you have family back in France that I could contact?"

"Non, my family was my wife. We couldn't have children, you knew that, why do you think we were so fond of you Bunny? It's just me now."

"No. It won't be just you, you're a part of our family Uncle Dar, always."

He smiled up at her, squeezing her delicate hand gently.

"Alright, judging by your test results and your descriptions it's definitely a tumor. It's been four months since your diagnosis am I correct?"

"Oui Bunny, the close of the grape season, I waited until we had all the grapes picked before I saw monsieur Dellaway. He say Go to America's like you promise your wife. Get operation. Go see your Bunny.' He is a nice man."

"Yes." She sighed, taking an unsteady breath. This was always so hard. Even harder when her patient was so close to her heart. "I'm going to be frank with you Dar. Because of the lapse of time since your diagnosis we don't have that much time. In the case of a serious tumor we can operate but I can't guarantee a successful operation. But if it is small, we can operate and you may walk away a healthy man. In any case those are our two options. Operate or just"

"Let me die a happy man."

"It's up to you."

Dartagnan looked out the window with a placid face. Usagi felt so drawn to him. It was like his whole being was surrounded in joy. She smiled, reminiscing of the days when they would laugh and play together.

"Time."

She smiled, sadly. "Yes, we don't have that much of it."

"May I think about this?"

"By all means yes. I have an hour break coming up in half an hour. Shall I return then?"

"Oh oui Bunny, that would be lovely. Is your mother in town?"

Usagi kissed his forehead, urging him to lay back into the pillows.

"Yup. She lives in New York now. Shall I get her to call?"

He took her hand in his, turning it upwards to rest a feather light kiss on the back of it.

"Oui, it would be lovely to speak to her again. Thank you my Bunny."

"It's the least I can do Dar. It's my pleasure."

He patted her hand softly.

"The pleasure is all mine. So good to see you again. You know, you have some of Toni in your eyes, Bunny. So full of dreams and hopes and beauty. I see you in half hour oui?"

"It's a date."

"Oui, a date."

With a sadness in her heart and a scuff in her step Usagi left his room. She had operated on complete assholes and saved their lives and here was a man who deserved nothing more than a happy life. A man who watched her grow with an unchanging smile. A man who offered her the world just by allowing her to roam his French vineyards. A man who she most probably couldn't save.

Lost deep in her thoughts Usagi hardly noticed the business man coming straight for her, sorting through files while rushing to a meeting perhaps. The two collided. Sending Usagi's medical files along with his own files up in the air, scattering about the busy hallway.

"Fuck." Usagi swore, bending over, retrieving what she thought to be her patient file which was really his case outline.

"I'm so sorry, this is such a mess. Lets just get it out of the hallway and sort it out somewhere a little less"

"Usagi."

She sighed.

"Mamoru. Small world eh?"

He was gathering papers, she couldn't see the mask covering his rage as he cleaned the mess.

"Indeed."

She didn't need to see his clenching jaw or the fire in his eyes. She did, however, hear his anger in his biting tone.

With a sigh, Usagi collecting the papers around her and finally stood with an armful.

"Any damage and"

"I'll take care of it Mamoru. Come on."

She didn't have the courage to stand up to him. Her heart was still trembling from the trying moments with Dartagnan. All she could do was lead him to her office. Unfortunately she couldn't avoid her superior coming straight for her.

"Dr. Tsukino."

She closed her eyes, turning slowly.

"Dr. Ashgrove, I'm very busy."

"I'm aware. Shouldn't you be attending to patients?"

Usagi rubbed the bridge of her nose in utter frustration.

"Yes but there was an accident and"

"No buts Doctor. You've got injured patients that are waiting to see their surgeon."

"I know Sir however due to the accident this man's paperwork and my own"

"Dr. Tsukino if I have to explain to one more of your patients that you're surely on your way than it will be your job on the lines. Accidents regardless."

Mamoru chose this moment to step into the argument, holding out his hand. Usagi could feel the red blush staining her cheeks. She didn't need his assistance.

"Mamoru Chiba. I'm sure you've heard of me." Ashgrove shook his hand, nodding slowly.

"See the thing is, we had a little run in, in the hallway. You know how busy they are. All our paperwork is mixed up. Usagi was just taking me up to her office to sort it all out."

"Mr. Chiba, I can assure you that if you leave your paperwork with Dr. Tsukino she will get it back to you safely however I can't have my leading surgeon attending to far less important matters than her patients."

"Well I have cases to attend to just as Usagi has patients but I can't do anything till I get my paperwork."

"There are no excuses Mr. Chiba. We need her doing her check-ups."

Mamoru turned to Usagi, noting her red face and pleading eyes. He smirked.

"No excuses?"

"In the case of a family emergency we could let her off."

Usagi saw the grin, it was too late. Her eyes widened in understanding, prompting Mamoru to continue. He leaned forward to whisper in Ashgrove's ear, loud enough for Usagi to hear.

"I was actually going to ask her to marry me. You sort of ahem" he looked at Usagi and smiled. "ruined the surprise."

This time Ashgrove's eyes widened. "Mamoru Chiba finally settling down. And to think. With our very own Tsukino. Oh congratulations Mr. Chiba. By all means go up to her office. You two love birds spend some time alone. I'm sorry I spoiled it. Oh wait till the others hear about this. Congratulations."

Ashgrove hurried away, stopping each time he saw a doctor or nurse to spread the happy news.

When Mamoru turned to face Usagi she was shooting him the dirtiest glare she could muster. Shaking her head, she turned on her heel and stormed to her office.

She was standing inside her office when he finally caught up. Naru was informed to take a message in the case of her patient check ups. She had strict business to attend to. 

"Close the door."

Her tone was as cold as ice, Mamoru completely ignored it, slamming the door shut behind him. A tense silence filled the room. Usagi was scowling at Mamoru's grin.

"How dare you." She finally broke the silence.

"How dare I what?"

"Oh fuck. By this afternoon the whole hospital will be under the impression that we are engaged. Tomorrow the entire upper class scene of New York will be talking about us. Do you ever think before you put one of your hare brained schemes into action?"

He shrugged, toying with her diary which sat on the corner of her desk.

Usagi snatched it out of his grasp, opened the drawer, threw it in before slamming the drawer shut.

"You have no idea do you? I am under the most intense scrutiny of my life to perform up to New York's standards and you waltz in here and pull a stunt like that. My whole career could be jeopardised because of this." 

"Relax would you. It was a joke. Are you going to help me sort out these files or are you just going to stand there hissy fitting?"

Mamoru straightened in surprise when her hands slammed down onto her desk.

"A joke? Do you really think Ashgrove is the kind of man to pick up on a joke? This is my life Mamoru. I thought I made it clear where I stood at the Berlin Bar."

She struck a chord there. This time Mamoru stood, throwing the papers he held onto her desk.

"You sure did make it clear where you stood. I never thought I was a horrible judgement of character but I certainly pinned you all wrong. To think I was under the impression that you were different to the other women I socialised with."

"To the other women you sleep with."

He glared at her. Throwing his hands in the air he began to pace.

"You completely humiliated me in front of the elitists of New York. Not to mention you ruined my shirt. I admit you're a great surgeon but that gives you no right to act the way you did."

Usagi groaned. He was so.urgh.

"I don't take kindly to you sleeping with my sister and flirting with me."

"I had no feelings for Rei!"

She didn't expect him to yell at her like that. Usagi was so shocked that she fell back in her chair. She watched his chest rise and fall, his fists clenched tightly. She hated him so much.

"Rei told you that our relationship was completely physical. Why are you acting like I performed the worlds nastiest crime by admitting that I cared about you enough to worry that you worked too much."

She saw him flinch at the word care. She also felt the rage build up inside her. Standing angrily, Usagi stormed around to the other side of her desk. She rose her hands to rest on his chest and shoved him backwards.

"My family care about me. My friends care about me. My patients care about me. You, Mamoru Chiba do not care about me."

She had been poking his chest aggressively. "The only thing you're worried about is whether or not I'll be a good enough trophy for you just like Ami Mizuno was. And this time Motoki won't be there to pick up your pieces when you leave me heartbroken because he's to busy sheltering the heart that you broke when you told Dr. Mizuno that she was getting too attached.

"I've had it with men like you trying to lie their way into my life. I'm sick of seeing my friends fall in love and when I try it and when I think I've found the perfect one all they want is a quick romp in the bed. Yet they can string me along for months, act like they're committed like they love me and when I finally do give in they walk out the next day like it was nothing. LIKE IT WAS NOTHING! WELL IT WAS SOMETHING FOR ME!"

By that stage, Usagi was pounding her fists into Mamoru's chest. The build up of emotional hurt flowing out with each word. She didn't care that she had just told Mamoru her deepest secret of heartbreak. She just wanted him to hurt. To hurt for what the others like him had done and for what he was trying to do.

"Usagi stop it."

She pounded harder.

"STOP IT!"

He grabbed her wrists with his hands and held her arms above her head.

"Let me go. Damnit let me go."

She was sobbing. Tears falling freely down her cheeks.

"Calm down Usagi."

She couldn't stop crying. Hating that she had let him see. Let him see why she was so cold. That she was so hurt so long ago and that it still strained her emotions.

She was sniffing loudly, the tears coming to a slow stop when she looked up into his eyes. Her own quivering in pain. He stared straight down at her with an intense gaze. She was so fragile.

Mamoru felt her story clutch his heart. This was what it was like for the women when he left. Why didn't he ever see the callousness of it? Why did he feel so vulnerable to love when he stared into Usagi's eyes filled with tears and pain.

They were so close. So dangerously close. Usagi moved her eyes to his lips. The straight line of his lips. Why wouldn't he just leave.

"Damn. Damnit. Just leave."

Her voice was thick, broken by the occasional sob. He was so attracted to her. He felt the urge to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the pain.

Mamoru still held her arms above her head, he had backed her against the book shelf opposite the door. She was still crying. Each tear was like a blow to him. He let her arms go. They dropped to her sides limply. He lowered his hands to her either side of her face, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry."

"What for."

"For thinking I could be your friend. Fortrying. For hurting the women before you."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. I stopped you before it was too late. Good thing you were wearing your favourite shirt."

He laughed. Her smile warmed him. He caressed her face slowly.

"I really did just want to be friends."

A lie. He knew it. He wasn't ready to tell her the truth. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than she already was.

She didn't answer. She was brushing invisible lint off the lapels of his jacket. Her eyes not daring to meet his.

"I was so confused, you let Motoki in but you left me out in the cold. I didn't know what was going on. I guess I tried to hard."

She scoffed at this, slapping his chest lightly.

"Motoki didn't look at me like a piece of A grade meat, Mamoru."

He smiled bitterly, "he did. It was just a case of you not looking."

Usagi shook her head. "Well regardless, he has Ami now. And you have Rei. Who I'm sure you'll be taking to the gala on Saturday."

"She has plans with the crystal boy."

"Jadeite? How long is he planning to stay in town?"

"Don't ask me. Bastards deprived me."

Usagi rolled her eyes. Toying with his jacket, calming herself down.

When the door burst open she jumped back, still holding his jacket, pulling him up against her.

"There they are. The happy couple. Oh look at them, sneaking in a quick rendezvous before going back to work. Usagi dear why didn't you tell us?"

Usagi hung her head. It was two elderly nurses and Naru standing in her doorway. The nurses looked utterly overjoyed. Naru stood with an apologetic stare.

"It just" she glanced at Mamoru who was smirking "it happened so fast is all. He only just proposed."

Mamoru, in shock of the intruders had stood at her side, uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets.

"So, show us the ring."

She looked up at him with wide eyes. With a dazzling smile, Mamoru took her hand in his, linking their fingers.

"I was in such a hurry to ask her that in my haste I completely forgot the ring."

"Aren't they adorable Natalie? I can't wait to see them at the gala. Oh won't it be a wonderful sight?"

"Definitely Catherine, I wish my flamingo head would treat me that way. To think, he thinks that bending coathangers is romantic."

The two nurses walked away gushing. Leaving Naru smiling at the couple.

"Sorry about that. They just burst in. Congratulations. I'll leave you two alone."

The minute the door shut, Usagi yanked her hand out of his. Rolling her eyes.

"Looks like I've found my date for the gala. Wonderful."

Mamoru smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"I'll pick you up at 5.30. Get that paperwork to me whenever you can okay?"

Usagi rolled her eyes again. "Whatever."

He opened the door, blowing her a kiss.

"Farewell my love."

Several passing nurses had stopped to giggle at the couple.

"Till we meet again darling, I'll be lost without you by my side."

The giggling nurses along with Naru sighed dreamily. The only person who heard her sarcastic tone was Mamoru. He matched it with a smirk.

She had only just remembered her arranged meeting with Dartagnan and hurried into his room ten minutes later than planned. He was staring out of the window, a small smile on his face.

"Ah Bunny, ello, ello, please sit down. You look flustered."

With a smile, Usagi lowered herself into the small chair beside his bed. She was tempted to pour out the whole Mamoru situation to her old friend.

"I'm just overloaded with work is all. Tell me about Toni?"

He smiled, a genuine smile, his eyes filling with mirth. Dartagnan stroked his moustache gently as he began to tell Usagi about his wife.

He loved her, so much that he lived for her memory. Even with her dead, this man was happy, happy to have shared with her the love that was theirs. Usagi sighed, how she longed for a love such as his own. Such passion. Such joy. 

"anyway, something is troubling you Bunny?"

She looked up, tears brimming in her eyes. Taking his withered hand in her own she squeezed it tight, smiling weakly.

"Nothing you should be worrying about Dar. Now, tell me, have you made a decision?"

Her breath was caught as he nodded. He looked so sad, so horribly forlorn.   
"I want you to operate. Take the tumor, let me live for her."

Usagi nodded.

"Are you absolutely positive?"

He nodded, patting her hand. Encouragement. She laughed inwardly at this, her patients were encouraging her. This was new.

"I am positive Bunny, I want it this way."

She nodded. Going through the procedures with Dartagnan. He would be operated on the Saturday before her gala. It would certainly keep her mind off the jerk Mamoru.

"Thank you Usagi, you are a fine doctor."

She laughed.

"We'll see."

*~MUAH~*

_When everything is gone, there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down, because I'm already here. _


	5. Chapter Five Drunken Hooligans

Ok, again, sorry for the delay -.- I am having serious time management issues over here. Sorry about the shortness of this chapter too. I have more that compliments this scene but I have decided to keep it for a later chapter. *strokes the ending of this one* Alright. Thanks to all of you who keep reviewing. Tis wonderful! :D

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rated: R

**Stark White Christmas**

One long, slender leg peaked out of the marble bath tub. Bubbles filled the cream decorated bathroom, along with steam and the scent of apricots. 

"I'm not kidding you, he was all over me. It was crazy. Ask Naru, she was there. She freaking saw it, along with half of the staff."

A razor drew across the length of the creamy leg, flawlessly leaving behind silken heaven. 

"Exactly. I mean it makes you fucking wonder doesn't it?"

Blond hair, carelessly cascading around a slender face. Held in a mess of tendrils by several clips and pins, the curls toppled around strong shoulders.

"Yeah, so now I'm stuck going to the gala with king jerk himself."

A hand emerged from the bubbles, reaching for a glass of champagne. 

"Oh just relaxing, enjoying the single life, boozing up."

Laughter, like honey. It was too much for him. His erection was already straining his pants. He thanked lord for the large coat he wore.

Mamoru cleared his throat causing Usagi to drop her Champagne glass into the water, spilling the alcohol into her bath.

"Shit! Jesus Christ. Shit. Mako I'll call you back. Holy fuck."

Two furious eyes turned to face Mamoru.

"What the hell are you doing in my bathroom?"

He smirked, leaning one shoulder casually against her door frame, raising an eyebrow. He knew how much she hated that smug gesture.

"You're apartment door was wide open."

"Well fucking hell Mamoru, that is by all means a clear indicator for you to come waltzing in while I'm in the fucking bath. Get out!"

He grinned.

"Make me."

She simply glared, suddenly aware of her nakedness. Luckily the bubbles covered up most of her body. 

"Mamoru, you have no right to just barge in here. I'm naked for fucks sake."

She swallowed loudly as his tongue caressed his lips.

"I noticed, like I said, your door was open, a burglar could have just wandered in."

"Well shit, anything is better than you."

She rolled her eyes as he pouted. Never in her life had Usagi been more embarassed than right now. Here she was, naked in her bathtub, with Mamoru fucking Chiba standing, staring at her like a predator.

"Are you going to just stand around and watch me bathe?"

"I though you'd never ask."

Her temper flared, without a second thought, Usagi had gripped her bottle of body wash and launched it directly at his head.  
"Jesus" He caught it just in time, glaring at the angry blond before him.

"Christ, watch your fucking temper."

With that he turned and strode into her apartment, slamming the bathroom door close behind him.

Her mood was completely killed by his unexpected arrival. Thoughts of fury stormed her mind as she quickly finished shaving her legs. After a quick application of scented bath milk, she stood from the tub and reached for a towel. Her thoughts had somewhat calmed when she slipped into her bedroom. Had he left? He sounded quite angry when he slammed the door. Please, please let him have just left.

Usagi voiced her silent prayer as she slipped into her boy leg undershorts and small pink singlet. With a shrug, she wrapped herself in a terry cloth robe and grabbed her pink slippers. She was, by this stage convinced he had left. Besides, there was not a hint of sound coming from outside her bedroom. This pleased her.

Usagi grabbed her tube of moisturiser, opening her bedroom door wide, scanning her lounge room for any sign of him. There was none. She smiled, success. Her nerves had calmed, she was alone again. A phone call to Makoto would be necessary though. But first, more important deeds needed to be done.

Usagi strode over to the coffee table, lifting one leg to rest on it's glass edge. She then proceeded to pour the pink tinted moisturising cream onto her slender leg. She didn't even notice him standing in the kitchen doorway. Standing and staring.

She started to sing, just softly, husky, her voice filled him. Touched him. Seduced him. He wanted so much to take her hand away, caress her skin, it was sparkling now from the cream. He wanted to taste her. Taste the champagne that had seeped into her skin from the bath water. Taste her beauty. Mamoru was fighting an emotional battle, losing control quickly as he watched the gorgeous woman before him caress her shapely figure.

"Coffee?"

She jumped again, losing her balance and falling to the ground with a thud. 

His previous arousal completely dissipated as he strode across the room, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her from the ground. Mamoru placed Usagi softly on the couch, not bothering to let her go, looking into her shocked eyes.

Neither of them spoke, they just simply stared. Usagi's shock filled eyes allowing him to see into her, to see past the mask, he saw longing. 

He wasn't as careless.

"I thought you'd"

She looked down at his arms, wrapped tightly around her, she couldn't think straight. His smell was so close, they were so close, so alone, it would be so easy to just

He licked his lips, she saw the desire in his gaze. It snapped her right out of her reverie.

"Mamoru, please, you can let go of me."

Her tone pulled him out of the daze. She sounded angry. He shouldn't have scared her like that.

"You shouldn't have scared me like that."

He only rolled his eyes.

"How do you take your coffee?"

She sighed, reaching for her lotion, continuing to rub it in to her legs.  
"Christ Usagi, if you keep that up I'm going to do something we both regret."

He turned to walk away, not before he caught sight of her secret smile of satisfaction.

"I'll ask again? How do you"

"I don't want coffee, I have vodka somewhere. I feel like getting drunk. Shall we get drunk Mamoru?"

She needed to get rid of the tension he was causing in her. All she wanted to do was relax.

He turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow. Could he trust himself.

"I don't know if that would be such a good idea. I'm not that controllable even with my inhibitions. I can't imagine what I'd try to do"

"I can take care of myself, do you really think I'd let you take advantage of me?"

She brushed past him, she smelt like fruits. So many fruits.

"You have a point. Although I don't care for vodka. Classless alcohol doesn't really pique my interests."

She scoffed.

"Scared of the outcome?"

The wager had been placed. He was never one to resist a bet.

"Give me a shot, straight up."

12 shots, three whiskeys and one and a half glasses of scotch later, Usagi found herself curled up in one corner of her couch, Mamoru sprawled in the other corner, his necktie was hanging from her neck while he wore her slippers. His shoes had been discarded somewhere around the fifth shot and his shirt was long gone.

"Did you have an unhappy childhood Usagi?"

She smiled, slowly stirring the scotch in her hand. 

"It wasn't unhappy. Bland perhaps? Dull maybe. Lonely definitely."

He lifted his feet, stretching them across the couch, resting them in her lap. She played idly with the fur of the slippers.

"Tell me about it."

She looked past his face, focusing on the small painting hanging on her wall. Dali.

"We lived in a small house, my mother, father and myself. It was small and quaint. It was a happy house to begin with. My first memory was of mother. I prefer to associate my earlier years with her only, but of course my father was a major player in my life. We lived in the country. On a farm. It was our lives. Father would spend his days tending to the animals, the gardens and at night he'd come inside and we'd be the family. It was nice at first. Mother was beautiful. She still is. Isn't she beautiful?"

Mamoru nodded hazily. His mind was floating in clouds of drunkenness, he was enjoying her voice. Enjoying her ease. Usagi's mind was screaming at her to stop, not to let him in. Her mouth was slack, it wasn't listening. Her soul was aching to get it all off her chest.

"Father would say it was only a matter of time before I would be as beautiful as mother. He was right of course. I think that is why he would never let me socialise. I think he wanted to keep me for himself."

Mamoru chuckled.

"Who wouldn't?"

Usagi swatted his foot softly.

"So my childhood was lonely. It was dark. When I began to resemble my mother just slightly, that was when"

She trailed off. It hurt so much. Mamoru could see this. He saw the tears welling in her eyes. Damnit, even in his drunken state he hated to see a woman cry. 

"Tell me about Rei."

"Rei. Tell you about Rei."

A soft smile formed on her face. Usagi lifted Mamoru's feet while she stretched her own legs out, resting his feet gently in her lap once again. His legs were heavy. She was loosening up a fair deal, her second scotch was finished, he was pouring her a third.

"Thank you, Rei brought light into my dark childhood. She taught me how to be a woman. She taught me about men, though she didn't know about my fear. My hatred. Rei taught me how to love. We shared a room when mother and Rupert first moved in, it was a small house. Rupert was studying at the time. Mother kept us alive, working long hours as a receptionist. Rei and I would stay up late, she'd tell me stories of the boys, she went to school see, I didn't, I did it all by correspondence. Mother thinks that my brains come from my lack of distraction. She didn't realise that I was lonely. Mmmm that's nice."

He was massaging her feet, gently, kneading the muscles with his strong hands. He was looking into her eyes with questioning.

"Why did you hate men?"

Her mind was screaming at her. Pleading with her to stop. Don't tell him. Don't open the wounds. Fuck it. 

"Men have been attracted to me all my life Mamoru. All my life."

He saw the tears in her eyes. He heard the thickness of her voice. He felt the rage consume him.

"I was the blonde little pet. It started with my father. Like I said, the moment I started resembling her was when it began. He'd take me down to the basement. Shhh It's alright Usa, it's alright. Don't tell mummy or I'll smack you.' Mother knew. She wasn't stupid. He beat her to the point where she was too afraid to tell. It wasn't until my aunt was staying, she realised. That was when he was sent to jail. We lost our house. We lost everything but my uncle and aunt. They took us in. They let me sleep in my cousin Raymond's room. Every night for two years. Every night. Every night he'd crawl into my bed and he'd"

She was sobbing so heavily. She couldn't continue. 

"Usagi"

He pulled her into his arms, pulled the fragile girl into his arms and encircled her. Rocking her backwards and forth. She was so light. So hurt. So fragile. He was so angry.

She didn't even care that he was holding her. Comforting her. Whispering into her ears. She didn't care. She was in so much pain.

"I'm sorry."

He kept saying it. Repeating himself. Why did he do that? It wasn't his fault. It was her own fault. For being a slut. Just like they always told her. If she wasn't such a slut it would never have happened.

Half an hour of tears was enough. Her emotions were raw. It was the first time she'd ever revealed her horrible secret. The alcohol was leaving an ugly taste in her mouth. Her tears had left a wet stain on Mamoru's bare chest. He was holding her so close, they were both laying back on the lounge, her head resting in the crook of his neck, she was so warm. Mamoru's hands were warm as they brushed across her forehead, stroking her blonde hair. She could feel his heart beating against her breasts.

She sniffed loudly, wiping the tears furiously from her eyes. The alcohol combined with her relief made her careless attitude easier to fathom. 

"Sorry. I don't usually speak about"

He heard the rawness in her voice, the pain. Mamoru pushed his fingers against her mouth. She smiled bitterly.

"What about you? Tell me about your dark secrets."

He smiled, curling her hair around his fingers.

"I don't have many. I have in common with you, the loneliness, although I was never abused in the way you were. Emotionally perhaps. I had a blissful childhood up until the age of four. My parents doted on me. We lived a Brady bunch life in all honesty. It was a Wednesday when my dad decided we should all drive up to the mountains for a picnic. I remember we were singing along to the radio, a cheesy song it was incredibly cheesy, quite pitiful that my last memories of them were signing a crappy song blasting from a crappy car radio"

Usagi lifted her head, staring into his eyes with awareness.

"You mean"

He nodded, easing her back onto his chest.

"We were driving up the mountain, it was slippery, the rain had just started to fall when dad took the corner too sharp. We lost control and the car went over the cliff. They died on impact. I barely survived. Sometimes I wish I hadn't of. They took me to an orphanage. They told me that I would be adopted within the first month or so. I was never adopted. I lived at that orphanage until the age of 18 when I was old enough to fend for myself. No one wanted to adopt me. I"

She was looking down at him again, her hands resting on the side of his face, stroking him softly. So much pain in his eyes. 

"I guess it worked out for the best. I am quite pleased with where I am today. Success comes at a bitter price I guess. We've both learned that. It's a rocky road but"

She didn't think. She didn't even comprehend the results of her actions but she didn't care. The alcoholic in her laughed with glee as her lips sought his in a hungry exchange of pain, desire and passion, they kissed, sloppily, hungrily, wantonly. All their pent up, horrible emotions surfaced in the kiss. For that one moment, they rose above it, they escaped, reveling in the freedom.

As quickly as it had begun, it ended, Usagi simply laying her head down onto his chest where it seemed, her place now, as her eyes drifted shut and she dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

Mamoru could only wind his fingers through her hair, before he too was softly snoring, his arms never releasing the fragile woman in his embrace.

~*MUAH*~ 

_When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear this world cannot bring me down because I'm already here. _


	6. Chapter Six The beauty of Sisterhood

Alright. Back once again with the continuation of the last steamy sloppy kissing chapter :D! I have not been home much for the past two weeks so that is my excuse for not updating sooner. I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter and this one too. I had a lot of fun writing these few bits so I hope it pays off. And thanks again to all my reviewers. I appreciate it so much. You guys are so awesome! Spread the word about this great fic :D *smug grin* And Kats. Mah baby love. You rock! Standard Disclaimers apply.

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rated: R

**Stark White Christmas**

"Usa?"

A brunette peered cautiously into a seemingly empty apartment. There were no signs of the occupant. Worry crept in.

"Usagi? Are you here?"

The bedroom door was closed. Perhaps she was still asleep. The woman quietly approached, knocking softly.

"Are you decent sweetie? Can I come in?"

There was no reply, with a shrug she carefully pushed the door open. Empty. The covers hadn't even been turned. Maybe she spent the night with her family, although why would Usagi have driven an hour for an unannounced stay. Makoto knew Usagi didn't enjoy the manor all that much.

She heard a groan, from the couch. With a roll of her eyes, Makoto closed the bedroom door and strode over. Silly Usa had probably fallen asleep watching television again. At least she was relaxing. She could have phoned Makoto back after that escapade in the bath. For all Mako knew, Usagi could have been raped.

"You better hope you have the day off Usagi."

Another groan. Makoto sighed. She had obviously been drinking last night. Mako saw several empty alcohol bottles on the coffee table.

Usagi's eyes opened slowly, the light streaming through her balcony door was making her squint. Her fuzzy head was pounding, what had she done last night? Why was she on the couch? She couldn't remember a thing. All she could hear was Mako's voice. Something about work. Usagi groaned.

She was lying on something hard. It was pleasantly comfortable though, and warm. She felt safe. She also felt two strong arms holding her tight in her place. Did she sleep with a man last night?!?!

Usagi blinked away the sleep in her eyes and stared down at the naked chest of a very toned man. Her eyes, hesitantly moved upwards to rest on his strong jaw, proud nose, sleeping eyes. Ebony hair.

"JESUS CHRIST!"

Mamoru's eyes slid open in pain. His head was aching, one of the several effects from his drinking binge with Usagi last night, he guessed hazily. She was staring down at him in shock. Did she remember the events of the night before? He swallowed, she was beautiful, even with her mussed hair, tired eyes and cracked lips. Where was his shirt? Mamoru looked cautiously into her eyes. He could feel her drool smeared on his bare chest, this made him smile.

"Don't tell me we"

Her voice was husky, thick with tiredness.

"Usagi? What the hell is going on? Who are youSweet Jesus, what the hell happened with you two?"

Usagi scampered off his chest, her eyes fixed to the shirtless torso. Did sheshe couldn't have. Squeezing her eyes shut, her hand flew to her forehead, squeezing the bridge of her nose. Stress. Anxiety. How could she let herself get drunk with Mamoru Chiba. Desperately trying to remember, her eyes opened cautiously, moving from Makoto to Mamoru.

"Mamoru, tell her we didn't do anything. Please god tell her."

Mamoru was in too much pain to object, he nodded, his cool blue eyes turning to Makoto. He remembered talking long into the night. Secrets being shared. A pang of guilt filled his stomach. She'd been abused. He closed his eyes.

"We talked. About childhood."

He laughed at this. Besides himself, Usagi was the most mature associate. Fancy the two of them getting drunk like teens and reminiscing about past lives.

Makoto stared at the two of them skeptically. 

"I thought you couldn't stand"

"Mako, don't you have a job to go to?" Usagi shot daggers at her shocked friend.

"I could say the same for you Usa. Let me make you a coffee. Neph won't mind if I'm late. He can"

Usagi shook her head, shooing Mako away with her hand, her legs curled under her body. She couldn't deal with Mako on her case during a hangover. Let alone Mamoru.

"I'm fine Mako, today's my off day. I'll be fine."

Makoto couldn't help but stare disapprovingly at the blonde. She was in a bad state. Her independence would kill her one day.

"Okay. But Usa, please, don't go overboard next time you drink."

Usagi rolled her eyes.

"Why does everyone care so much?"

Mamoru chuckled, he too sporting a husky voice.

"Because you're so damn cute."

She shot him a glare, watching with a raised eyebrow as he wiped the drool from his chest. She'd slobbered on him. Just great. Could this day get any worse.

Usagi waved Makoto goodbye, staring off into space as thoughts floated in and out of her mind. She needed aspirin. And coffee. And a massage, her neck was killing her.

The phone screaming into life snapped her thoughts back into reality. He was still sitting there, with his eyes closed, massaging his temples, Makoto had gone and Usagi was in a bad state.

"Jesuswhat time is it?", she croaked, reaching for her watch. It read 10.48am. Screw the phone, her machine would get it. 

She stood on weak legs, stumbling into the kitchen. She turned to him, what had they talked about last night? She couldn't remember a damn thing.

"Coffee?"

"Sounds great. If you wouldn't mind, can you dissolve a couple of aspirin for me?"

She nodded, waiting for the message to begin. Sure enough it bleeped into action.

"Usa darling, it's mother. Rei said Mamoru was planning to drop by your house last night? You two didn't get up to mischief did you?" Usagi cringed as her mothers twinkling laughter filled the room. "Anyway sweetie, today's your day off. I was expecting you to be at home. Why don't you give me a call whenever you get in. We can discuss this new love interest of yours. I hope Rei isn't too upset. Although she did say it was only sex. Oh well darling, love you!" 

Nothing could compare to her embarassment. Her face, bright pink, was depicting her shock clearly.

"You told Rei you were coming here? And why the hell does my mother think we're an item?"

He stood, striding over to the kitchen, leaning against the opposite bench, still shirtless. Why did he have to have such a stunning physique? 

"Rei wanted me to come to dinner and meet her new boy. I had to come up with some excuse so I just mentioned I had some paperwork to pick up, which was my first intentions when I arrived here. God, my head aches. What did you give me last night?"

She raised an eyebrow, picking at imaginary lint from her underwear. Where had her robe gotten to? She looked up, his eyes fixed to her scantily clad body. Usagi suddenly felt very naked.

"You say that as if these hangovers are all my fault. If my memory serves me correctly, you were the one that went fishing around in my alcohol cupboard for some scotch."

He laughed, handing her two large coffee mugs. She couldn't stop staring at his chest. He was so handsome. 

"Well the whisky was so good, when you finished it off I was craving for some more fine alcohol. I thought you couldn't remember anything."

She rubbed her forehead, trying again to remember their conversation. Nothing.

"I don't, I don't remember anything after the first scotch. God you could have told me we went and performed ludicrous sex positions in my bedroom and I'd probably believe you."

She saw the coy look form in his eyes.

"Well actually"

"Nice try Mamoru, I'd be feeling it today if we had. So we talked about our childhood's? Did we"

Her eyes formed the look of surprise. He watched as realisation dawned. The flash of emotions was enough to break his heart. She was aware now.

"I told you didn't I?"

He nodded slowly. Hating himself for knowing. For hurting for her. For being able to see the hurt in her.

"Oh godI'm so sorry"

She turned her back to him, pouring out the coffee. How could she have been so stupid. How could she haveHer back straightened. Fuzzy images of her stroking his face, looking into his eyes, lowering her mouth  
"Oh godI didn't. I didn't. Oh god damnit."

He smiled a little. She remembered the kiss.

"If it makes any difference, I enjoyed it immensely."

He could see the reflection of her rolling eyes in the glass cupboard. He laughed at this. His laughing made her clench.

"Mamoru, how could you let me get myself in such a state?"

An eyebrow rose. Chuckling. He saw her displeasure. 

"I was under the impression you were quite capable of taking care of yourself, besides. Admit it Usa, you loved the feel of my tongue against yours."

Usagi glowered, storming past him and reaching up for the aspirin in her cupboard. She tossed the box to him and stormed into her bedroom.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm having a shower. You better be gone by the time I'm done."

He smiled, carrying the two coffees over to the dining table.

She emerged from her bathroom fresh and much more awake now than earlier. Her tears spilled in the shower as she remembered pouring out her story of abuse to Mamoru. How could she have been so careless. And how could he have been so unchanging towards her. Why didn't he disgust her like other men? And why had she kissed him? This just made hating him so much harder now. With a sigh, she slipped on her sweat pants and a bra. He would hopefully be gone, as requested so she could mope around her apartment all day and kick herself for her stupidity.

Usagi yanked her hair into a ponytail and swung the door open, not bothering to slip a shirt of any description on. Why would she bother? He was gone. She could relax now.

She strode to the front door, scooping up her mail from the floor. Funny, where was her newspaper? Her landlady always slipped the newspaper through her mail slot every morning. Maybe she forgot this morning. Unlikely.

Usagi didn't even look up as she walked into the kitchen, flipping through her mail. It was all bills. And one promotional pamphlet. She hated mail. Especially around Christmas time. Usagi stopped dead in her tracks as she heard a low wolf whistle come from the general direction of her dining table.

"Sexy!"

With a glare she turned, slamming her mail on the kitchen bench.

"Why don't you ever leave when I tell you to?"

He was reading her paper, sipping her coffee and sitting at her table. She was furious. So much so that she didn't even hear the knock on the front door. 

"What is it with you and seeing me naked?"

"What is it with you and being able to cover up your body just enough?"

She rolled her eyes and took a long sip of her coffee.

"Aren't you going to get that?"

The knock resounded through her apartment, louder this time. With a curse, she turned on her heel and stormed to the front door. 

"Alright!"

The door wasn't even locked, no wonder Mamoru slipped in so easy last night, and Makoto this morning. Usagi mentally reprimanded herself, she'd have to be a lot more careful now. With a grunt she swung the door open to see her very own sister smiling at her.

"Sweetie how are you?"

Usagi forced a smile. It was all she could do to stop herself from falling to her knees in anguish. 

"Great, hung over but great. What are you doing here?"

They embraced, warmth emanated from Rei. Usagi once again felt safe. Rei hooked her arm in Usagi's and began walking into her home. It was than that Usagi realised that Rei's own lover sat at Usagi's dinging table shirtless, sipping coffee and reading the morning newspaper, while Usagi herself was dressed in her bra and sweat pants. This would not look good.

"I came to see if Mamoru dropped by last night. Or if you know where he is. I've been trying to get hold of him all morning. Have you seen him?"

Usagi took Rei's arm and pulled them both to a stop in the hallway. 

"No I haven't, must you come in. It's a pigsty. I'd hate for you to see it."

Rei laughed slapping Usagi's hand away.

"Don't be silly Usa, it's me. I've seen your own bedroom filthier than this place. Let me stay and have some coffee."

Usagi hung her head in defeat. Rei would automatically assume the worst. Of course, she wouldn't be far from the truth. Usagi had kissed Mamoru. What had overcome her to do such a thing?

"Of course Rei, you can stay for coffee."

Rei stopped suddenly in her tracks.

"Wait, you have a man here. You're glowing. You've been sleeping with a man haven't you? I know you're apartment isn't messy. It never is. There's a man here isn't there?"

Usagi laughed nervously.

"You could say that. Come on, he's in the dining room. I suppose we might as well get this over with."

Rei strode quickly into the opened space of the lounge room and dinging room. A huge grin plastered on her face. It fell as soon as her eyes found Mamoru's.

"Him!?!?"

Mamoru looked up from his coffee, smiling.

"Good morning Rei."

Rei fell with weak legs onto the couch. Fanning her face desperately. Her sister was sleeping with Mamoru? Her own lover?

"Rei, please don't be mad, it's not what it looks like, honestly. Mamoru just came around last night for some paper work and I asked him for a drink and well one thing led to another and"

Rei's eyes flew wide open. 

"You slept with Mamoru?!?!?! You slept with my lover! Usagi, how could you even fathom such an action. He was my lover!"

Mamoru had stood by this stage, his naked chest not making this situation easier. His eyes however, fell directly to Usagi's breasts. She realised the moment her neck prickled eerily. Reaching for a couch cushion Usagi covered her chest.

"Oh come now Usagi, why be modest now? I'm sure he saw a lot worse. I can't believe the gall of my own sister, sleeping with a man who was my lover."

Usagi frowned, shifting uncomfortably, the smirk on Mamoru's face was not helping her embarassment.

"Well to be honest Rei, I was under the impression that you two were still lovers."

Mamoru chuckled at this, taking his place at the table, nonchalantly sipping at his coffee.

"Usagi!"

"Rei!"

Her fiery sister glared at her. Usagi sighed. Rubbing her forehead wincing in pain at the throb.

"We didn't sleep together Rei. Tell her Mamoru. We simply got drunk and fell asleep after talking about childhood memories. It was innocent. My god, stop looking at me like I'm a whore."

"Usagi's right Rei, besides what does it matter to you, you have your new man from college coming to sweep you off your feet."

Rei stood, storming to Mamoru, digging her fingers deep into his shoulders. 

"You're right Mamoru, he is sweeping me off my feet, that's more than you ever did!"

Mamoru sighed, wrapping his own hands around her wrist and yanking her hands off his shoulders. Furiously, Rei slipped her hands away from him.

"You never asked for anything more than sex. You made it clear that was all you wanted. Don't go pulling that romance shit on me and don't you blame Usagi for your sexual needs. She has nothing to do with our relationship."

"Why are you defending her?!?! She does have something to do with our relationship if she sluts her way into your life, gets you drunk and sleeps with you. I can blame her for being a whore. For always being a whore. Every man I've ever dreamed of has fallen for my sister. Every man Mamoru. How do you think that makes me feel? Just because she's the blonde haired blue eyed angel. They love her. I can't have a decent relationship without having her slut her way into it and destroy it all."

The words stung Usagi, she had opened her wounds last night for Mamoru and now Rei was pouring salt deep into them. Mamoru saw the tears filling her eyes. He could practically hear her heart breaking. Usagi fell to the couch, holding the cushion close to her body, sobs spilling from her mouth. 

Rei turned to her, rolling her eyes. Why was she crying? She knew it was the truth. 

"Every man has always been attracted to her, I can't even"

She was cut off by Mamoru's hand over her mouth. He had a strong hold on her as he pushed her to the front door. 

"Get out of here Rei! Get the hell out and stay away from Usagi."

Rei shrieked in anger as he pushed her out the front door and slammed it close.

Usagi was standing on the balcony when he returned, her arms encircling herself. Shaking from the sobs. Her bare skin prickling with goosebumps. Rage consumed Mamoru. How could her sister have been so thoughtless? How could he feel so deeply for the blonde woman crying on the balcony? He slid the door open, joining her. Both of them feeling the crisp wind on their bare skin. He stood beside her, resting his hands on the railing. They watched Rei enter her car and drive away. Silent tears streaking Usagi's face.

"She doesn't know does she?"

A small shake of her head, more tears. Mamoru's heart was breaking for her. He pulled Usagi into his arms, holding her close, her golden hair tickling his skin. She was so small. So hurt. Her arms wound around his body, she was pushing herself closer against him. She was so cold.

"She hates me"

Usagi uttered between sobs. He frowned, stroking her soft locks. Holding her close.

"No, Usagi, no one could hate you. She's just confused."

Usagi looked up at him, tears pouring from her eyes. They weren't sparkling their normal blue instead a dull grey. She looked so defeated. He rested his forehead against her own.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have"

He pulled away, silencing her with his fingers, just as he had done the previous night.

"I'll never let you live this pain alone. Usagi, never."

She began to cry harder, sobbing, wailing. Her emotions pouring from her eyes, her mouth. Cries of anguish. She buried her head into his muscled chest, trying to escape from the pain. Her attachment to Mamoru was growing strong. It was scaring her. More than the pain her sister had caused. More than the pain of her childhood memories. This was a new fear. This was a fear of love.

She was staring at the banquet of food before her. Mamoru had gone to her favourite bakery and her bought her breakfast. He was being so nice. He didn't scorn her for breaking. He didn't laugh at the streaky eye make up on her face. All he did was be there for her. It was all she needed yet her mind was screaming at him to leave, to stop making her think she was falling for him.

"I don't even feel like eating."

Her upturned mouth made him laugh from his post in the kitchen. He wanted to keep her mind off the events of the morning. 

A knock on the door sent both their heads turning. Mamoru ushered Usagi back onto the couch while he answered the door.

"I came as quickly as I could. How is she?"

Mamoru stood aside for Motoki.

"She's alright, the fight was pretty big. I thought she could use as many friends as possible."

Motoki frowned, unwrapping his scarf. 

"Could you tell what the fight was about?"

Mamoru shook his head, knowing well Usagi would not want her secret known to him. He led Motoki into the lounge room where Usagi was now curled up under a blanket. She smiled up at him, she had heard the conversation between the two men. She smiled in thanks at Mamoru.

"Sisters, who needs em eh?"

Usagi smiled weakly, tears threatening to spill. Motoki launched himself onto the couch, opening his arms in offering. With a meek smile, she crawled into his embrace and sighed. Jealousy swept through Mamoru, he couldn't help it.

"Well we hired out a movie, got some chips, beer and chocolate so you just make yourself comfortable while Mamoru slaves in the kitchen and I'll help you devour all these treats."

She smiled, settling into Motoki's warm embrace. How did Mamoru know she needed to keep her mind off this? How could she feel as if he were inside her. With a small smile, Usagi focused on the movie blaring from her television.

~*MUAH*~

_When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear this world cannot bring me down because I'm already here__. _


	7. An Address to Some Recent Reviews

****

Addressing some Reviews

Ok this is me addressing you guys. No chapter here. I just seem to be getting some reviews that say similar things.

Point number one

The language. As I mentioned earlier in the fic, I am portraying adults. They are over worked, stressed, tired adults. They don't curb their language. I am trying to make the characters as real as possible.

Point number two

My grammar sucks. Deal with it. It's not as bad as some others I've seen.

Point number three

The length of the chapters. They are long chapters. The last two however, were originally meant to be one. It was too long to be a full chapter. Well it wasn't. But it was O.o;; So I made the decision to cut it. The long chapters will be back next time :D I promise :D

Point number four

This is in relation to a recent review which…made me laugh but really gob-smacked me. *laughs*

Basically the reviewer made it clear their thoughts on Rei and Mamoru's affair. This reviewer believed that Rei and Mamoru should 'never have been lovers. Never ever.' She went on to say that if Usagi and Rei were to make up and Usagi and Mamoru were to marry, how would it look if the sister knew Mamoru as well as his wife?

I don't give a rats how it would look. That is real life sweetie. I am writing as real to life as possible. Do you see Brady bunch trademarks in this story? No. Then don't expect them. And here is the bit that made me laugh.

"Maybe you can change this and say that Rei wanted Mamaru to be her lover but he wasn't. Sort of like what happened in the TV programme. She considered him her boyfriend when he wasn't."

Ok. No, no, no. I am very happy to take constructive criticism. The language complaints sit well because I can justify them and I am in the know now, that some of my readers are uncomfortable with that. Hence in the newer chapters that I have been working on contain less language of the explicit kind. Now. This one reader is obviously upset by the Rei/Mamoru pairing in the earlier chapters. But that does not give the reader the right to suggest that my story should be changed. I am open for suggestions yes…but in this manner. It insults me a little that the reader feels the pairing so…wrong that the story should be changed. Just…grrrrr. I have been writing this for a year. I have it planned. I'm like so close to finishing. I have put my own time, passion and heart into this and I am **not **going to change it because of Rei and Mamoru and how bad it might look if Usagi and Mamoru get married.

)@#&*(*@#%&*(!&@*(&!#%

Ok

I am done. And I apologise to this reviewer for making an example of them but that was, to me, a very insulting review. So…stay tuned for the next chapter in a couple of days. Thank you for listening to the venting of the author. 

~*MUAH*~

__

When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear this world cannot bring me down because I am already here.


	8. Chapter Seven A match made in the Vuitto...

I am back again after my vent of all things to bitch about :D And with another (longer) chapter I might add. I just want to send a huge thank you out to all the support that generated from my last update. It really did renew my desire to finish this story regardless of the few negative comments. -.- I'm too sensitive for my own good. Anyway for all of you, enjoy, and know that I am a breath away from completion of this delectable fable :D

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rating: R

****

Stark White Christmas

"Mamoru please, I'm really not in the mood."

She stared up at the man before her. His pleading eyes causing her heart to race. 

"Oh please, Usagi, you know you love it."

She sighed, yanking her purse from the entry table. Shooting him a death glare.

"Fine, but you're paying."

"Hey, I'm not showing up to the gala with a scummy looking girl."

She blew him a raspberry.

"When have I ever looked scummy?"

Laughter. He shrugged.

"Touché, still I think you need some retail therapy."

Her look spoke a thousand words, sarcasm, incredulous, beautiful.

"Don't look at me like that, I am a bachelor, it's my job to know feminine terms."

She laughed, digging through her purse, searching for her keys.

"Still, retail therapy?"

"Can I help that my charm with women has induced a strong vocabulary that relates directly back to females?"

"Charm my ass."

"With pleasure."

She felt two hands move softly across her behind. Her body tensed at this. Luckily he didn't see the smile of satisfaction on her face.

"You know I didn't mean that."

He laughed, moving to stand beside her. By this stage they had made it to the elevator. His arm automatically draped itself over her shoulder, his hand moving across her bare arms slowly.

"I know, but I couldn't resist."

"Clearly."

Usagi rolled her eyes, settling into his embrace with a smile. She felt so safe. Warmth emanated from his body. His wandering hands leaving butterflies in her stomach. 

"Did I mention I love the way you look in jeans?"

The elevator door slid open, they walked, he with his arm still around her shoulders, her wrapping one arm around his waist.

"No, but your growing hard-on was a slight give away."

He laughed, squeezing her closer to him. She loved the way being in his arms felt so natural. She loved the way he was taller than her but close enough to reach if she ever felt the need to kiss him. Not that she would ever kiss him.

"It's…"

"Disgusting."

"I was going to go with interesting but…" He offered her a grin, it was all he could do for the curtain like monstrosity that hang from her figure. Watching as Usagi swatted at the ribbons of the bow that seemed to merge with the skirt of the floral dress, Mamoru attempted to contain the laughter. 

"I can't believe you chose this…Mamoru I thought you had taste. My god!"

Laughter spilled from his lips as she turned around with an obvious look of disdain. The attendant of the boutique chose that moment to attempt a sale.

"It really is exquisite. Wouldn't you agree Miss?"

He noted the shock in her eyes. Causing the laughter to increase in volume. She was trying hard to stop her own giggles emerging.

"Oh yes. I've never seen anything like it," Serena plastered a false smile to her face. "It's truly unique." She said, tugging a ribbon of the bow. Mamoru chose that moment to step beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. He turned them both so that they stared into the floor-to-ceiling mirror. Usagi tried to hide her pleasure at the attractive couple they made. Even in the disgusting dress. Mamoru wore a smirk, mirth twinkling in his eyes. Her own eyes narrowed. 

"Madame, wouldn't you agree that my fiancée looks stunning in this dress? I absolutely refuse to leave without it. How much will it set me back?"

And so began the sales pitch. The attendant smiled in glee at the thought of her commission cheque. The dress was worth a small fortune, being the Louis Vuitton creation that it was, they rarely sold dresses like this one. She had no idea it was because of the absolutely repulsive design. A Vuitton was a Vuitton. 

Usagi rolled her eyes as the attendant continued with her spiel. She made it a point to jab Mamoru in the ribs. Quite hard at that. He responded by tightening his grip around her. She simmered quietly. 

Her mind backtracked a few moments. Had he just…called her his…fiancée?!?!?! Usagi's mind reeled. Was he serious? What the hell was he thinking? Did he simply wish to carry on the façade from the hospital? 

"…Miss? What do you think?" Usagi was dragged out of her reverie by the whining sales attendant's voice. She looked to Mamoru for help but he simple stared back at her with raised eyebrows.

"I…really like it. Without a doubt." The last word was bit out, eyes shooting ice at her 'fiancée'. The attendant nodded eagerly.

"But," She frantically wracked her mind for an excuse. Watching the smile falter on the attendant. Usagi turned to Mamoru, "I'm sure Mako mentioned this exact dress on the phone the other night, Sugar. I'd absolutely die if we showed up at the gala in identical dresses."

Mamoru laughed, moving away from her, flippantly waving her away.

"Whatever you want Princess. I don't want you to feel inadequate. I know that's your biggest insecurity." 

The disappointment of losing the sale dissipated as the attendant saw the oncoming of a vicious argument.

What the hell did he mean by that? How could he just pick at her soul like that. After she told him of her…Usagi saw the coy grin on his face. He was just playing a game. Playing her for a reaction that he knew he could squeeze out of the curtain clad blonde. With a scowl, she turned on her heel, stomping to the dressing room, not after calling over her shoulder. 

"That may be the case Honey, but I'm going to buy a dress that will put you so far out of pocket you won't even be able to dream of that penis enlargement you wanted – and so badly needed." Sadistic pleasure simmered her anger as she saw the look of absolute horror on Mamoru's face.

"Usagi…please, I'm tired of looking at dresses. You proved your point in the Vuitton boutique, I'm not going to embarrass you anymore, the red Gucci was fine. The blue Dior was fine. The orange God-Knows-What was fine. Can you please pick one and get the hell out of here."

She turned, staring at him with her hands planted on her hips. 

"Mamoru."

He rolled his eyes at her testy stare.

"Usagi."

"Mamoru."

"Usagi."

She was getting irritated. What could she possibly say to him to justify this silly behaviour. Why was she being so fussy today? 

"Mamoru. Let me tell you about my life. Six and a half days out of seven I spend at the hospital. An average shift spans from 6am till 10pm. Did you know that the average doctor attains only 4 hours of sleep per night. When I go home I eat if I feel like it. If I'm not tired enough to collapse on the couch in something of a stupor. I rarely have time to flit about the fashion boutiques, let alone beauty boutiques. I treat myself on fear of disobeying the commands of my friends.

"Today is Friday. Normally I have to go in to the hospital, fill out forms for two hours and check on any patients that have been assigned to me. On behalf of an influx of new doctors I've been informed someone is on top of it today. I don't have to go in. Oh but if they should need me I'll receive a call…of course not at my own whim. At the whim of the sadistic bastards that are holding the puppet strings of my beginning-to-be-redundant life."

She flashed a grin, turned on her heel and entered the nearest boutique. The golden letters reading 'La Boite'. He simply followed with a slack jaw.

"You owe me. Usagi god damnit you owe me!" She smirked at his voice resounding into her dressing room. This was the fourth dress she was trying in the quaint little boutique. The last for the day. If this wasn't what she wanted then she would simply have to re-use a dress from her earlier days of social gatherings. She didn't even bother gazing at her reflection in the mirror, simply strode out of the cubicle and onto the raised level for Mamoru and herself to observe the dress. After some quick adjustments to the skirt she finally looked up. Her mouth hanging open. What she saw wasn't the weary doctor she knew. She saw a complete stranger.

The dress was a pale gold colour with a long, straight satin skirt, parting mid thigh to reveal her slender legs. A layer of ruffles edged the slit, in the traditional Spanish style. The top of the dress came up, around her neck, dipping down between her breasts, displaying a modest amount of cleavage, a tiny spaghetti strap stretched across her back, with hundreds of drop beads hanging from it.

He was trying so hard to contain his desire. The look of her in that dress was too much for him. The small curve of her breast, visible from the fabric that fell away, leaving that little bit of soft skin exposed for his hungry eyes. 

"I like it…" Her voice was dreamy, gazing at herself in the mirror in complete awe. With a timid hand, she pushed her hair out of her eyes. Still gazing intently at her reflection. He watched her eyes dart up and down her body. Approval sang from her grin that was slowly creeping onto her face.

"I love it…"

He was behind her, his arms snaking their way around her waist, fingers grazing against her bare back. "You look…" She tilted her head backwards, reveling in the emotion that shined in his eyes. It was so rare to see the flash of feeling.

"I look…"

"You look stunning darling absolutely stunning. That dress was just made for you. Now normally I would lie just to sell a high priced piece of cloth but really. I have not seen a more beautiful customer and her husband. Oh my you two are a lovely couple. How long have you been married?" Usagi stared in awe at the salesmen, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing his chin thoughtfully. A pair of pink rimmed rectangular glasses sat on his nose while he was dressed completely in black. His distinct lisp and blunt nature pulled a smile onto Usagi's face.

"We're not married." Usagi stepped off the podium, taking the mans hand into her own, he shook her hand the way females do when they're expecting a kiss. Usagi was quite taken aback.

She felt Mamoru's arm slip around her waist again. Cursing the butterflies that seemed to explode into her stomach at every touch, glance, insult, kiss. She mentally erased kiss from that list. She was drunk. She couldn't even remember.

"Soon though. Isn't that right Honey-Bunny? Only 4 more months."

The clerk whooped in joy. 

"Oh you simply must return so we can help with your wedding. God, you have to invite me. I wouldn't miss a couple like you in a church in white….ohhhhh can't you just picture it now?"

Usagi giggled nervously. Noting the sly grin on Mamoru's face. He was going to hear it after they left this boutique.

"Mamoru Chiba." He held out his hand to the clerk who took it delightedly. "And this is my fiancée Usagi Tsukino."

She smiled icily up at the man who held her quite possessively. Holding her hand, again, to the smaller, more feminine man.

"Melvin Rodriguez. But my friends call me Mel."

Usagi smiled, slipping her hand out of his own a little uneasily. This man was beginning to grate at her nerves.

"I'll take the dress. And any accessories you see fit Mel. Mamoru, can you stay with him and fix it all up. I've got to run to the little girls room."

She slipped away quietly. Leaving a delighted Mel and a slightly brooding Mamoru.

"Night Usagi, I hope you're feeling better."

She smiled, appreciation shinning in her eyes. It spoke for so many things. So many thanks she never thought she'd say to the man before her.

He nodded, knowing the power behind her smile. Knowing that she needed him today, and that he was there for her.

"I'll pick you up at 6pm. You better be ready."

A frown creased her brow. She looked past him, her mind working, he saw all this with dazzled eyes. He'd never seen her in concentration. Is this the way she looked when she operated? When she went over her patients? When she did her paperwork. He liked the way her brow creased a fraction, the way her eyes seemed to glaze over, the way she got lost inside herself. Mamoru frowned in response to his thoughts. What had gotten into him? 

"The gala starts at 7pm, right?"

He nodded, composing himself.

"I have an operation at 4pm. It's a big one, can we make it 6.30? Just to be sure?"

"Of course, we'll be fashionably late, I'm sure that's not new to you."

She laughed, pushing him out of her apartment.

"I prefer to call it, making an entrance." She smiled, that winning smile. Melting him, his wall of composure crumbled.

"Of course you do Princess. Of course you do. See you tomorrow."

She waved, smiling pensively as he strode through the hall of her building. Since when had watching Mamoru Chiba dragged a smile onto her face? Since when had the sound of his voice, saying her name made her knees feel weak? Since when had he been able to make her forget about the demons of her past with the smallest of kind gestures. Since when…She closed her door softly, making her way to her bedroom to marvel at the dress he had just purchased for her.

She stared down at the sleeping man before her. Dartagnan. He looked peacefully innocent. Just as they always did. He looked like the man that used to bundle her into his arms and piggy-back her through the vineyards picking her the ripest grapes and the sweetest plums. He looked like the man that would stand on his cottage porch and laugh that bellowing laugh of his until he had the whole company laughing. But most importantly, he looked healthy. Usagi's heart jumped with a pang of guilt. But was he?

"Is he…?"

"He should be fine Usagi, you did a great job. There are no signs of a tumor, he's pulse is steady, his blood pressure is regular. Everything is as it should be."

"As it should be."

Her assistant recognised her distant eyes, the doubt in her voice. The tremble to her hand as she pushed a lock of hair away from the sleeping Frenchmen's eyes.

"Relax. Don't you have a ball to get to?"

"As a matter of fact I do, and you do too, so lets pack up and get out of here."

He smiled, taking her gloves and face mask for her. Even in the dim light of the preparation room and with the tired circles under her eyes, Usagi was beautiful and her assistant couldn't help but admire her good looks.

"So I heard you're getting hitched Doc."  
Usagi almost choked, thanking the good lord that her back was turned to her assistant. 

"Yes, that's right Kazu-san. My, my, word sure does travel fast around here."

Kazu was good enough to offer her a shy shrug.

"You know the nurses at this hospital. They spend more time gossiping than they do tending to the patients."

She laughed at this, "Yup. They sure as hell make my job a hard one."

"Yeah. But hey, this guy, Mamoru right?"

She nodded, they had begun to make their way towards her office. She heard the warning tone in Kazu's voice.

"Mamoru Chiba. I heard he's a real lady-killer. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into Doc."

His last comment stopped Usagi dead in her tracks. She turned with a steely gaze, anger seeping into her glare.

"I don't see that it is any of your business Kazu-san."

The younger boy raised his hands in defense, shaking his head. "No, no Doc you got me all wrong I…"

"I don't care how I got you Kazu-san. You're in no position to be mouthing off about my fiancée. I obviously saw something in him to agree to spending the rest of my life with him so why don't you back off and let me be happy."

Usagi didn't bother to wait around for his response. Her anger fuse had been lit and she had to get away from the innocent boy before she said anything else that would jeopardise their work relationship.

What the hell had triggered her sudden impulse to defend Mamoru Chiba? To talk about him as if he really were her fiancée? What the hell had caused that giddy feeling in her stomach? 

With those nagging thoughts, Usagi slammed the door to her office open causing her secretary to squeak in fright.

"Usa…"

"Not now Naru."

"One of those days?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. God. I need to get out of here. Naru, will patch my number down to room 484. I want them to call me should anything happen to that patient."

"Sure thing Doc. I'll see you at the gala?"

"Of course. Ciao."

Usagi sighed deeply. Of course. Of course she'd see her at the gala. Everyone would see her at the gala with her 'fiancee'. And Usagi would smile and pretend that she was in love with the man that she hated. But Usagi wondered, did she really hate Mamoru Chiba?

One last look in the mirror was all she needed. Just one before he came. He'd be at her apartment in one minute. She just had to rush into her bedroom and stare at herself one last time before he…

"Fuck!"

He was knocking on her door. She cursed again, where were her damn shoes? She had her gold Blahnik's delivered just yesterday. Where the hell did she shove that box.

"Usagi…we're going to be late."

There. Under the coffee table. She ripped the box open and shoved her foot into the shoe, careful not to smudge the freshly painted nail polish.

"Usagi!"

"Just a sec…"

She went down with a bang. Sending the second shoe flying. Had she ripped her dress? Not yet. Hair ok? Fine. With a quick fluff of her bangs, she hobbled to the front door and swung it open.

The look on Mamoru's face was enough to wipe away any pain from her fall. He stared at her with a slack jaw, his eyes roaming shamelessly over her body, fit in the gold dress that hugged her shapely curves. He appraised her hair, that was swept into a neat French twist with a few tendrils framing her face. His eyes finally settled upon her face, smiling at her subtle dusts of make-up.

"You're missing a shoe. You look hot."

She sighed and pushed her over coat into his arms, turning to retrieve her missing shoe.

"I am hot. Godamnit. You're early."

"By one minute."

She frantically searched for the shoe, trying to keep her fringe from flicking into her eyes. Why was he just standing there? She knew he was commanding but at this moment, he seemed to fill her entire apartment. Usagi felt vulnerable in the revealing dress. Perhaps because for once, she felt attractive, and if she was attractive than Mamoru would be attracted. She shoved these thoughts out of her mind as she triumphantly grabbed her shoe and shoved it on her foot.

It was of course, a complete surprise to find his arms wrapping themselves around her waist as she straightened. Her body tensed as she felt his own press against her back. He was so warm.

"Mamoru…"

"Usagi. I don't think you heard me correctly. I said you looked hot."

"I am hot. I've been rushing around this damn apartment…"

"No Usa. You look…hot."

She saw the way his lips curved as he said the word hot. She saw the couple they made in the mirror. She saw the heavy lidded eyes of his roaming over her behind.

With a shy smile she squirmed her way out of his arms and placed her hands on his chest. He was still looking at her with that smirk, with those eyes clouded with desire.

"Just because I spent over-a grand on a pair of shoes, doesn't mean you can take advantage of me when I lose one."

She smiled to herself, hoping to keep the mood light so that he'd back off. It appeared to be working. He stood holding her coat open for her.

"Thank you Monsieur."

He chuckled, draping his arm around her shoulders as he led them both out of her apartment.

"Oui mon chéri. Dieu que vous semblez assommant."

She batted him lightly on his chest, slipping her own arm around his waist.

"So…tonight I am Mrs. Chiba-to-be. No thanks to you. Think we can pull it off?"

He smiled down at her. He really did look handsome. If only he wasn't such an asshole. Usagi ignored the niggling voice in her head that reminded her of how charming he had been these past two days.

"I think we'll do just fine Mrs. Chiba."

"To be!"

Usagi found herself frowning. Simply because the idea of being Mrs. Chiba, at that point, excited her immensely.

"Darling you look fabulous. Who knew, there actually was a woman under all that cursing and scruff."

Usagi gave Minako a dry stare, smiling widely as Kunzite approached.

"Kunz, you remember Mamoru."

The two men shook hands, eyeing each other skeptically. Usagi and Minako simply rolled their own eyes, snorting at the childish display.

"Shall we go in? Or are we going to wait around outside until one of you ladies…"

Usagi elbowed Mamoru in the ribs, smiling at his grunt of pain.

"We'll go in. Are the others here yet?"

Minako nodded, linking her arm into Kunzite, leaving Mamoru and Usagi standing side by side. She sighed as the inevitable arm was draped over her shoulders.

"Yeah. I saw Mako wandering around checking out the food. She's such a dork. Nephlyte was talking to some…"

Minako's drone was ebbed out by the feeling of Mamoru's lips against Usagi's ears. The pair walked a few steps behind Minako and Kunzite, giving them a touch of privacy. Shivers cascaded through Usagi's spine from the tickle of his breath.

"So Mrs. Chiba, how are you enjoying your post at my side?"

She could only smile, choosing not to answer, but to pinch his arm instead. He hid his grunt of pain as Minako turned back at them to see if they were listening. Usagi smiled warmly at her friend.

"…and Rei, boy oh boy does she look like a mess. Bags under the eyes and all. Usa, you need to talk to your sister. I really think something's up with her. She's been clinging to some guy all night. As if someone's going to come along and snatch him away. Oh and the mayor's wife she looked so…"

Usagi felt Mamoru's reassuring squeeze, his free hand finding her own, spreading warmth through her ice cold fingers.

"Hey, why don't you guys go on ahead, I've got something to give to Usagi."

Minako shot Kunzite a questioning glance. Kunzite, in turn, landed his steely gaze on Mamoru. He placed a hand on Minako's shoulder and the two of them made their way inside.

Usagi's spirits had plummeted at the mention of her sister. She felt tears welling in her eyes. She didn't belong her. She didn't belong anywhere near here or the company that would be here.

"Hey. Usa, don't cry. It'll be fine."

She blinked away the tears, not wanting to smudge her make-up.

"No…no it won't. I don't belong here. Don't you understand? The people here, they hate me. Everyone in New York hates me."

"No. Usagi, no. I don't hate you."

'But you don't love me.' Usagi nearly snorted in disbelief at her own thoughts. What made her think that? What made her want him to love her.

"It doesn't matter Mamoru. One person doesn't change the way an entire city thinks."

"It shouldn't have to. Don't be silly. You look gorgeous, lets go in there and show them what a beautiful surgeon you are."

"I can't…Rei's…Rei."

"Fuck her. Fuck them all Usagi. Lets make this Mr. And Mrs. Chiba…to-be's night."

She cracked a smile and swatted him lightly on the shoulder. 

"Don't you forget it."

His arm wound itself around her waist once again, as he led her up the stairs into the grand hotel before them.

~*MUAH*~

__

When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down because I'm already here.


	9. Chapter Eight You look like someone I kn...

Hi, hi! Wow, who knew this would actually still be going in time for Christmas. It's been a year since I started writing this. *smiles* I'm very fond of this fic and I have a lot of plot ideas for new stories and one that I had started a while ago involving something of epic proportions and some sexy general loving :) Anyway. Huge thank you to all my reviewers and emails etc. I'm thinking of starting a mailing list. What do you guys think? Let me know if you're interested. It'll basically be previews of upcoming chapters, new story ideas, general chat about characters etc. Is that a good idea? Would you guys join? Hmmm we'll see eh? Anyway, for now. Enjoy the…O.o climactic chapter ^^;; well climacticish ^^;; Hahhaha. I had fun writing this. The evil side of me came out and ran away with this story for a while mwahahaha. We're coming to a close L But don't fear. All will be well. Love you all!

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rating: R

****

Stark White Christmas

The soft twinkling sounds of the jazz ensembles met them as they reached the head of the stairs. Usagi frowned a little, it seemed all of New York had already arrived at the gala. She felt several eyes gazing up at her and Mamoru. With a charming grin he began the long descent to the ballroom.

"Fashionably late my darling."

She smiled up at him, straightening her back, taking her first step into the world of the New York elitists.

"As always."

He chuckled, running his tongue over his lips. Her eyes followed the movement, blinking as his tongue slid back into his mouth. She cursed the fluttering sensations in her stomach, the tingling of her spine. She cursed herself for loving the fact that his arm was around her and not around any of the other women in the room.

She ducked her head as several more people turned to gaze at the newcomers. They did make a handsome couple, her in her golden dress, him in his crisp tuxedo. They weren't just the happy couple anymore, it seemed that they both exuded sensuality with their charming smiles and subtle touches.

"They love you."

His mouth was at her ear, his breath warming her skin. With a small twist of her body she had squirmed out of his grasp and made her way to the foot of the stairs alone. She looked over her shoulder at him. Her heart catching in her throat. Usagi had never seen a man so handsome as him. Nor had she seen such a handsome man smiling down at her with a look like that. 

"I think it's you they love, Mr. Chiba."

Usagi smiled widely as the twinkling melody of a Frank Sinatra piece was replaced with the passionate sounds of a tango. Her eyes found the dance floor, watching with a smile as couples flittered about to the staccato rhythms.

His arms snaked around her waist, holding her gently to his body. His chin resting on her shoulder. Usagi frowned a little, a seed of doubt planted itself deep into her mind. When had their relationship changed from blunt irritation to subtle flirting? And since when did she smile at him as if he were the only man in the room? Usagi forced a smile as a group of people called them over. Did she want it to go further? Because that was the direction they were heading in and she knew that if she let it get too far he'd leave her in a crying mess after a night of 'fucking'. 

"Ah, the happy couple. Usagi, might I say you look wonderful."

It was Dr. Ashgrove and the board of executives from the hospital. Usagi inwardly cringed. By now, the news of her 'marriage' with Mamoru had probably spread very far across New York.

"Thank you Dr. Ashgrove, although I was afraid you'd ask me to wear my Santa Hat."

The table of men burst into hearty laughter. Mamoru simply stood by Usagi's side, his arm protectively wound around her waist, his smile not faltering.

One of the executives patted Dr. Ashgrove on the shoulder with a huge grin and a cigar hanging from his mouth. Usagi felt like rolling her eyes in disgust, instead, she simply smiled.

"Not only is she a gorgeous, talented surgeon, she's a witty one at that. Don't let her go Ashgrove. She's just what this hospital needs."

This time Usagi did roll her eyes, no one but Mamoru noticed. His smile widened, his arm fell from her waist. With a set jaw, he leaned over and shook the executive's hand firmly.

"Thank you for making my fiancee feel like a piece of meat. Now if you'll excuse us gentleman."

Usagi didn't know what to say. Her shocked expression was evident of that. Mamoru had just threatened her position…once again. But even more a surprise, the table of men burst into laughter. 

"Ah, young love. Such a charming pair. You two go off and have fun. Mamoru Chiba you joker you. I love this kid."

Usagi and Mamoru both were smiling fakely as they made their way from the table of pompous men.

"That was…different." 

Usagi smiled up at him, winking slyly.

"Ah, welcome to my life you joker you."

He chuckled, slipping her hand into his and swinging her to his body. His free hand snaking her way around her waist. She felt a blush spread across her cheeks. He was too close.

"Well, would you care to dance with this humble joker?"

"Har, har, humble my ass. You just want to grope me."

"Why hide it?"

Usagi felt herself melting into a puddle of love goo. Her sour expression contrasted greatly with her rapidly increasing heart beat.

"I'm glad I picked this dress."

She rose an eyebrow, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

"Dream on. Your fashion sense sucks."

He chuckled, twirling her outwards and then back again. She couldn't help but notice the force of which he pulled her back to his body. The tightness of his grip on her hand. Her mind carried her away to a fantasy land where Mamoru fell in love with her.

They had been dancing for some time now. Softly murmuring comments of sarcasm or insults to keep the mood light. Usagi, it seemed, was not the only one that had found her thoughts leading down the road of love. 

Mamoru too was toying with the idea of waking up to Usagi's smiling face every morning. But for him, the idea of intercourse was far more appealing than the idea of marriage. Real marriage. Usagi marriage. Perhaps a semi-long term relationship could work…but nothing more than that. Mamoru didn't want to be tangled in the web of Usagi's emotional distress. It was too much for him.

"Mamoru?"

"Mmmm?"

"What's your favourite fruit?"

He frowned. What did it matter? Why was Usagi so random? Could he live with a random partner? Mamoru's frowned deepened. What did it matter if he could or couldn't live with a random partner. 

"Bananas."

She laughed, her husky, knee bending laugh.

"Why bananas? Trying to make up for something you lack?"

He smirked, pulling her tighter to his body.

"Bananas are indescribable Usagi, it's as simple as that. I desire things I can't understand."

"Ah, so you can't understand me?"

He laughed. He loved her wit. The biting sarcasm. He loved the speed in which she could counter his insults, comments, his praise.

"What about you, Usa?"

"Cherries."

He smiled coyly, looking down at her as she peered past his face.

"How cliché of you Usa. Let me guess, you like to tie the knot of the stems with your tongue as you seduce a man."

Her eyes rolled as she laughed. Usagi punched him lightly.

"Cherries are bold."

"Cherries are bold? How so?"

"Well…they're deceptive. The image that they project contradicts the actual taste."

"Really? I never knew."

She rolled her eyes again.

"Yes, really. They lure you into believing that they are cute and seductive with their looks, but when you take that first bite of a cherry, you realise you've been had. They're really a bold tasting fruit. Tantalising even. They don't have to exploit their image to be desirable."

"You sound as if you're speaking of a Renaissance painter."

She smiled widely.

"No, just cherries."

"You really do love cherries, Usagi."

"Yup. You really do dance well, Mamoru."

"Thank you."

The two of them sunk into their own thoughts. Analysing each other as they had analysed their own favoured fruits. It was a long while before Usagi spoke again. 

"It's funny…"

She had just murmured the two words that completely summarised their entire relationship. It's. Funny. Their whole relationship was funny. Usagi, the insecure doctor wanting nothing but a sensitive new age guy, and him, the playboy lawyer wanting nothing but a romp in the bedroom and hating the sensitive new age guy. The irony made him smile inwardly.

"Hmmm…?"

She lifted her head form his shoulder to stare into his eyes. He felt the tightening inside him. The need to drown in that smile for the rest of his life. He felt the inner battle begin. The one that had him caught between loving Usagi or running from the situation into the bed of one of his many lovers.

"I was just thinking about us. Our relationship. It's funny."

The distant sounds of his emotional warning bells began to ring. Had she been contemplating the same thing he had?

"How so?"

Her head rested onto his shoulder again. Mamoru felt the ache for her smile ebbing its way into his emotional storm.

"Well two weeks ago I hated you more than anyone else. Now I'm dancing with you and…"

She trailed off into a light laugh. It sounded almost paranoid to him.

"And?"

He could feel her hands clenching into fists. The reaction of a secret keeper.

"It's nothing." Attempting to keep the mood light, Usagi laughed and swatted his shoulder playfully. "Don't be so serious."

He smiled widely, he could see the look in her eyes. Fear predominantly but there was something else. Desire perhaps? He couldn't quite finger it.

"It must be something Usa. You're blushing."

Indeed she was, and it deepened as he ran a gentle finger across her reddening cheeks.

"I…"

He pulled her closer to him, their bodies firmly pressing against each other. His hands slid across her bare back to rest where the material of her dress prevented the feel of her skin. The silk material swayed delicately as she moved in time with the music.

"Yes?"

"I…this song is morbid."

"Usagi…please don't change the topic."

"It is. It's a morbid song. Why the hell is Mariah Carey singing about death?"

"I hardly think that has any importance in this conversation."

"It's a lovely song. The Wind, I believe is it's title. It's charming. What were you going to say?"

"When?"

"Just now?"

"Nothing."  
"Usagi."

"Mamoru."

"Usagi."

"Fine! I was going to say that I had been thinking about you a lot lately. That you were on my mind almost constantly and it was nice. Happy?"

She had moved away from him. The two of them standing a good distance apart on the dance floor. She, panting loudly and frustrated. Him, staring, with wide-eyed shock. 

Usagi cursed at herself. Why the hell did this anger her so much. 

'Because you want him. You want to love him. You want him to love you. And that pisses you off Usa.'

Usagi ignored the hissing voice in her head. She didn't love Mamoru. She couldn't. She could never love a pig like him.

'But you want to Usagi. You want this whole façade to be real don't you?'

The voice was right. She wanted it to be real. That was why she was angry. He was the type of guy she lived to scorn. To hate. To avoid. And she had let him into her already fragile heart. She hated him for that. But she hated herself more.

Mamoru watched Usagi look about her in anger. They had gathered themselves quite an audience. With a snort of disdain, she spun on her heel and stormed away. 

"Forget it!"

He watched stunned, as her retreating figure stepped on to the balcony. Sure enough, he pursued. She stood, bare arms encircling one another as the cold New York air assaulted her. She looked a treat under the moonlight. Wisps of her hair had fallen free, framing her tense jaw.

"I don't know why you bother chasing after me, Mamoru."

He joined her, slipping out of his tuxedo jacket to wrap it around her bare arms. She uttered a small thank you. He could hear the regret in her voice. See it in her eyes. That pained him a little.

"And I don't know why you bother running, Usagi."

She laughed a little, leaning her elbows onto the thick marble railing, her chin resting in her hands.  
"What am I to you?"

He closed his eyes. He didn't expect this confrontation so soon. He hadn't prepared himself for this. He wanted to lie. He wanted to say that he loved her. That he wanted to be by her side forever. But that would ruin any chances. She would see through that. He knew he wanted to be her lover but he…

"I…I don't know if I love you Usagi."

She nodded. Something she had expected. Something he expected too.

"I mean. I think about you. Just as you said you think about me. It's hard not to. You're remarkable. I haven't let myself get so caught up in a woman before. It's a little frightening."

"Yes. I can see how I can be frightening."

He frowned, his hand resting on her back, stroking her through his thick jacket. 

"No, I have enjoyed it. Immensely. I've been having the time of my life but…"

She turned to him then. Her eyes naked. Full of emotion. Her lips a straight line of thought.

"But you don't feel for me."

His hands cupped her face. It was cold from the chilly wind. Her skin was so cold. He had expected her to cry. He had expected a scene. But there was nothing. Just emotions.

"I feel for you. I'm just…not ready to commit myself to loving you. I never have for any woman."

"I've spent my whole adult life avoiding relationships with men like you. It's so typical that the one man I hated most would be the one that wangled his way inside."

He laughed at this. Both of them relieved that the tension had been broken. 

"I'm sorry for wangling."

She smiled, moving closer to him, leaning her cheek against his chest. His arms automatically wrapped around her body. They stayed like this a long time. The tinkling melody of the Mariah Carey song caressing their silent figures.

"Mamoru?"

"Usagi."

"Could you?"

He traced the line of her jaw, looking deep into her eyes.

"Could I what?"

"Could you love me?"

His gaze moved over her head, to the falling snow that blanketed the street below them.

"I think…"

"Could you try?"

This time his gaze fell to her eyes. They were filled with hope. And promise. Mamoru asked himself the question over and over again. Could he? Could he give up his life? Could he for Usagi? Could he? Usagi. Love. Could. Would. Try.

"Yes."

She smiled. Her head falling to his chest. Her arms winding a little tighter around his body.

"So I guess this morbid song is our song then?"

He laughed, lightly smacking his hand across her butt.

"It's a lovely song. The Wind, is lovely."

They both laughed this time. Just as a cold gust of wind picked up outside.

"Come on. Lets go inside, Usagi."

"Ah good idea. But first, I have to make a trip to the bathroom. I'll be back."

She wiggled out of his grip and smiled back at him, making her way to the ladies. She entered the small circular foyer-like room that housed the entrance to the two bathrooms. A woman stood, gazing at her reflection in the mirror.  
"Hello. I couldn't help but notice…you're…you're the woman I spoke to at the Niche a few weeks ago aren't you?"

The woman spun around with a small smile on her face. Her once dark locks were hidden beneath a golden wig, spun into a French twist, similar to Usagi's own style.  
"Yes. That's correct. I can't believe you recognised me. I'm Ami Mizuno."

Usagi felt her eyes widening. 

"You're…you're Dr. Mizuno?! Oh my lord. Dr. Mizuno. It is such an honour to meet you." Her hand extended, taking Ami's into its tight grip.

"Oh thank you so much." A pink blush stained her cheeks. "And you are?"

"Oh. Gosh where are my manners. I'm Usagi Tsukino. I can't believe it's really you."

Ami smiled widely, turning back to the large mirror.

"So you're the woman who is rising in the New York ranks. You're name has been spread across the world Usagi. You're very well known in Japan."

Usagi laughed and shrugged. "I have a wonderful mentor."

"Thank you. So what do you think? Motoki, the guy I'm here with, absolutely loves it. He wants me to dye my hair." Ami dramatically rolled her eyes. "As if. Isn't it cold tonight? I feel as if I should be used to New York weather by now. And in Motoki's tuxedo jacket I feel like such a geek but it's just freezing. Especially in here."

Usagi laughed and lifted her own arms. 

"Drastic times call for drastic measures. Anyway Ami I'm busting, I'll see you back in the ball room yeah?"

"Sure thing Usagi. It was a pleasure to finally meet you."

Usagi smiled. "You too. You're definitely better as a brunette."

Ami's laughter could be heard in the large bathroom causing Usagi's smile to widen. Contentment was a new thing for her.

Mamoru smirked a little as he watched Usagi with her back to him, staring intently at the painting on the wall of the foyer to the bathrooms. She had straightened her hair so that there were no loose tendrils. His smirk turned into a smile as she gingerly wrapped her arms around her body, trying to warm herself up. He thought she would be used to the New York winters by now. She never ceased to surprise him.

He found himself unknowingly striding towards her. Wanting to feel her in his arms again. When had he become so dependant on contact with the fiery blonde? Nevertheless he had made it to her with an abrupt pace and slipped his hands over her eyes. She was surprised and took a step back into his chest.

"Guess who."

She shivered as his hot breath touched her neck. Her body relaxed a little as she realised it was him.

"I think I have an idea…"

Her hands rested on his arms, gently stroking the thin silk of his tuxedo shirt. 

"You're so warm."

He smiled at her curious tone. She was speaking in a soft whisper. As if they hadn't had this close contact ever before. She was almost tentative with her touch. It wasn't like the bold Usagi he had held before they had even decided to give a relationship any thought.

"You're not, I take it."

He didn't see the small smile curling on her lips as he slipped his hands to rest on her waist. He didn't see that her eyes remained closed as she turned to kiss him. He didn't see that he was holding Ami Mizuno as if she were his lover. He didn't see it was Dr. Mizuno until her lips had found his and her hands had wrapped around his neck.

Usagi Tsukino saw it all from her position in the doorway.

~*MUAH*~

__

When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down because I'm already here. 


	10. Chapter Nine Lightening Crashes

Merry Christmas minna! I was hoping to have this done before Christmas day but…hmm well considering it is Christmas day right now for me…and uber soon for you yanks etc I don't think it will be. We'll see…I'm writing on it now as we speak but eh, what can you do? Well, sorry for the sad, somber chapter. It is, dedicated to my dear friend Elizabeth Benson who passed away this August. I love you Beth. Hope you're celebrating with the best of them up there. Thanks for all the support my darling readers. I hope that like me, you are enjoying this story and other Christmas romances with a mug of hot coffee or cocoa or chocolate and curled up in your favourite pajamas. Even though it's normally sweltering hot for me during Christmas, I'm enjoying a nice thunderstorm, thus I get the snuggly winter treats this Christmas (the closest to snow I'll ever get during Chrissy anyway) With love from the Aussie side of the world. Merry Christmas darlings! -.-;;; and this is going to be even more late because ff.net is screwing me around.

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rated: R

****

Stark White Christmas 

Usagi stood still. Feet firmly planted to the floor. Tears quickly welling in her eyes and sobs threatening to escape her mouth. Mamoru. Mamoru who had just agreed to trying a relationship. To committing to her. Mamoru was kissing Ami Mizuno.

Usagi couldn't stop staring. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. Her eyes were rooted to the couple as Ami's eyes fluttered open, her lips separating from Mamoru's. Usagi could see the shock in Mamoru's eyes. Had he really not expected her to give into his charms so quickly? Usagi nearly gagged in disgust.
    
    "Mamoru…?"

She was pleading with him. Usagi had thought she was a nice girl. A simple, sweet, nice girl. Boy was she wrong.

Mamoru's hands fell limply from Ami's waist.

"Ami I…I'm…I thought…"

Usagi couldn't watch any longer. Her stomach knotted as her feet began to function once more. She couldn't hold the sobs back this time and her hand flew up to cover her mouth as the tears spilled from her eyes.

"Usagi…no, wait!"

She flew from the foyer, past Mamoru, past Ami, past her pain. She was so stupid to trust him with her secrets. With her passions. With her life. With her heart. So stupid. The tears flew harder this time. She hadn't even realised that she had passed Rei. Passed Minako and Kunzite. 

"Usagi!"

Rei called out to her. Usagi mistook the concern for hatred and ran harder. Away from the scene. Away from her pain.

Her make-up began to streak down her face. Dark lines of mascara and gold streaks of shimmered powder. Usagi didn't care as she ran through the dancing couples and up the steps. She didn't care that she had just slammed into a hard body. She did care that the hard body was holding her shoulders tightly, commanding her to calm down. It was Motoki.

"Don't. Motoki let me go!"

"What is it? Why are you crying? What happened Usa?"

Usagi wretched herself out of his grasp and pointed angrily at the large ballroom beneath them. 

"Where is Dr. Mizuno, Motoki?"

"She's waiting for me in the washroom foyer. Why is that Usa?"

"You might want to go find her Motoki. You won't be too happy."

"Usagi…wait!"

She had started running again. Running in heels that tore at her skin. Running in cold air. Running in an unknown direction. Running for an unknown time. Running until a shrill series of beeps interrupted her escape.

"No! Just fuck off! For one just fucking leave me alone!"

She screamed at an empty black sky, in an empty, cold, snow covered park. Thunder erupted in the sky as Usagi yanked her beeper from her hand bag. It was Rei.

Usagi swore loudly, shakily dialing Rei's cell number and listening to the empty rings of the cell phone.

"Usagi?"

"Rei. I can't handle your abuse right now I'm…"

"Usagi good heavens. Are you alright?"

"Rei…Rei oh god. I thought…"

"I know, I know. I was. I was so angry. But he fucked you over didn't he?"  
She couldn't answer. She just cried silently while her sister listened on the other end of the line.

"Listen honey. Forget him. You're better off without him. Just call a cab and go home."

"But Rei I think I'm…"

"Don't think that. Mamoru Chiba is not the guy you want to fall in love with. Don't let him kill you Usagi."

"Rei…"

"Honey. Stop crying. Keep your chin up. I'll call you tomorrow ok?"

"Ok. Bye Rei."

"Good night Usagi. I'm sorry he ruined it for you."

"No…I'm sorry about the other day."

"Forget it. It's over. Blood is thicker than water right?"

"Night Rei."

There was no sense of relief when she hung up the phone. There was just an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had sorted things with Rei but Usagi still felt that the advice Rei gave her was wrong. She didn't want to forget Mamoru. She didn't want to walk in on him kissing Ami Mizuno. She didn't want to be crying in a deserted snow covered park. She didn't want to hear her beeper going off again.

"God. Just leave me alone!" Her weak wail was cut short when she read the number flashing across the screen.

It was the hospital. Dartagnan was in trouble.

With a new fear in her heart, Usagi hailed a taxi and made her way to the hospital.

"You did what you could Doctor."

Sympathetic eyes bore into her own empty orbs. Ashen hands clutched the metal rim of the operating table. Squeezing the metal so hard that the knuckles paled.

She looked about the brightly lit room. Procedures flooding her mind. She had studied this all at medical school. She had seen it done in so many lectures. So many theatres. She had completed countless amounts of training for these operations. Why couldn't she save Dartagnan? Why couldn't she save him?

"Why…why didn't it work?"

"It was too late for him Dr. Tsukino. It was his time."

She shrugged the hand off her shoulder and stalked to the sink, yanking her gloves off her hands.

"Bullshit! Fucking bullshit. You know I could have saved him. You have seen me do this operation so many times Kazu. Why did I fail tonight?"

"We were too late for him Doc."

She had his back turned to him. Her head sunk as tears were soaked into her face mask.

"No. I could have saved him. I could have…"

"Usagi! There was nothing we could have done for him."

She couldn't hide it any more. Loud sobs echoed through the silent theatre. Her staff stood silently. Not wanting to disrespect her moment of anguish.

"Where did they take him Kazu?"

"Back to his room for now. He'll be transported up to the…he'll be seen to in a half hour or so."

Usagi nodded, pulling her face mask and cap off in defeat. A signal that she had accepted the death of Dartagnan. She slipped out of her surgery coat and back into her white medical coat. Making her way to Dartagnan's room while silent tears streaked her face.

He looked so rested as he lay on the bed. His once vibrant eyes closed to the world forever. A sharp pain struck Usagi as she sat by the bed taking his tanned hand in her own. Her mind played for her scenes of countless childhood memories spent with Dartagnan and his family.

__

A 10 year old Usagi stared happily back at the French man who gently pushed the swing she occupied.

"Higher Uncle Dar! Higher! I want to see the lovers on the hillside."

He laughed his giant laugh, wrapping his strong arms around Usagi's waist. He took her hand in her own and pointed it to the hillside.

"You'll be up there one day Bunny. With your own lover. And we can all spy on you while we sit on this very swing."

He noticed her tensing body. A deep pain ebbed into Dartagnan's heart. He knew of her past troubles with the men. He cursed the monsters that broke Usagi's heart.

"No Uncle Dar. I'll never have a lover."

He laughed again. Resuming her swinging.

"You'll marry one day Bunny. You will."

"Not me Uncle Dar. I'll never marry either."

He spun her around to see the defiant pout on her lips. With a grin he lifted her from the swing easily spinning her through the air. Her shrieking giggles overjoyed him.

"Well Bunny, if I were a little younger and you were a little older, I would marry you."

"What about Aunt Toni?"

A guilty smile stretched across the Frenchmen's face as he heard his wife approaching.

"Yes what about your wife, Dar?"

The three burst into laughter, the married couple each taking a hand of Usagi to walk her back to the house. 

"You picked a bad night to do this to me Dar. God. I could have saved you. I could have done something. I'm so sorry."

She buried her head in her arms which rested beside his lifeless body. Sobs wracking her small frame.

She cried by his side for fifteen minutes. Holding onto his hand tightly. Not wanting to let him go for fear of releasing their memories together. 

The lyrics of the song she had heard earlier floated into her mind. That blasted Mariah Carey song. Usagi's song that she shared with Mamoru. The thought of his name sent another burst of pain through her body.

"I love you Dar. Why can't all men be like you. I would have married you too Dar. If you were a little younger and I were a little older. I would have married you too."

She smiled sadly. Humming the haunting melody of The Wind.

"You've flown into the wind, escaping all, the hurt within. Took to, to the sky, leaving the world behind…"

She smiled again as two hospital staff entered the room. Standing slowly she gave Dartagnan's hand a final squeeze.

"Dr. Tsukino, do you request more time with the patient?"

She shook her head, smiling through the tears. Leaning over, Usagi planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I've said my last good-byes. Thank you gentleman."

"Are you off now Miss?"

Usagi nodded. Slipping out of her white coat.

"It's really coming down outside. Biggest thunder storm I've seen in years. You ought to call a cab instead of walking."

She nodded again. Feeling the urge to go home and bury her head in some pillows while she cried her sorrows away.

"Usagi!?"

She knew that voice. She knew that timbre. The way it shaped her name. The way it tricked her into wanting to hear more. She knew Mamoru's voice.

She turned to him with dead eyes. What did he want from her? Why did he keep playing these games with her? Usagi never wanted to see him again.

"Leave me alone Mamoru!"

"Usagi you don't get it…I thought she was…"

Usagi swung a left hook, connecting it with his jaw. His grunt of surprise was nothing compared to Usagi's cry of pain. Damn he had strong features, literally. She searched desperately for a taxi nearing them. No such luck. The street was almost empty as the rain and thunder crashed through the sky.

"Damnit, Usagi please…"

She shoved passed his crouching figure, taking the steps two at a time. She was not going to listen to Mamoru Chiba wangle his way out of this mess. He had caused her enough pain for one night. She was quick enough to get around the corner before he realised she had left the shelter of the foyer and ventured into the storm. Mamoru swore loudly.

Usagi whimpered softly as a crack of lightening illuminated the sky. She hated storms. She hated Christmas and she hated Mamoru fucking Chiba. Tears began to fill her eyes as the events of the night recurred in her mind.

And now her new dress had been ruined by the rain because she was too battered to talk to Mamoru while waiting for a taxi. A roll of thunder sounded throughout Central Park causing Usagi to shriek in surprise. She began sobbing, how the hell was she going to get home? No cab driver in their right mind would allow her into their taxi. 

"Fuck!"

She found herself standing on a pebbled bridge. Her saturated dress clinging to her body, the elegant twist of her hairstyle had come loose long before and her hair was now matted to her head. 

How could she screw her life up so easily in a single night. She had pushed Mamoru away for too long and now he had chased an ex lover. On top of that the only man besides her step father that truly mattered in her life had been killed, because she wasn't quick enough to save him.

Usagi let out an anguished moan, wrapping her wet hands around the post of the bridge. The tears flowed a little faster and hurt a little more. She could have saved Dartagnan. She could have let Mamoru in when he tried so hard all those weeks ago. She could have done so much to prevent all this pain. She could have left Mamoru alone and let Rei keep him for her sex partner. She could have, but she had to be a slut instead. 

She sobbed louder, her cries being lost in the thundering storm. Her knees gave way as she sunk to the cold ground, leaning her forehead against the post she clung to. Her make up dripped down her face with her tears that mixed with the rain.

Mamoru could only run through the swelling storm, calling her name in desperation as he frantically searched for the woman that had captured his heart. The woman who he had destroyed. If only he had of looked harder. If only he had of known it was Mizuno standing at the mirror. If only his mind wasn't hazy with alcohol. If fucking only.

He didn't want to lose Usagi. This was proof. Never in his right mind would he rush through a thunder storm screaming like a lunatic. Damnit she wasn't even wearing a coat. She'd be freezing and she'd be alone. Mamoru cursed the day he let himself be taken by Usagi Tsukino. He cursed his stupidity for letting her run into Central Park alone in a storm. If anything happened to her before he found her…Mamoru clipped the sentence. Nothing would happen. He'd find her. He would.

And sure enough there she was, collapsed on the ground, soaked through the bone and sobbing like a child. Mamoru visibly cringed. To see her this broken. To see anyone this broken. To know that he had taken part in the breaking. He sighed. Resting his own soaked hand on the rail of the small bridge. She was metres away, sobbing, wailing, hurting. What could he say to make it right?

"Usagi what do you want me to say?" His own voice was defeated, his own eyes hurting, "what can I possibly say to make this right?"

She looked in his direction. He couldn't tell if it were directly at him. The rain was too thick between them. She said nothing. Just looked. Just cried and watched him stand there being soaked.

"Is this cleansing for you Usagi? To watch me hurt as much as you? To watch me stand in this storm? To watch me chase after you time and time again? Is that what you want? Do you want me to tell you that your punch is still hurting my jaw? Will that make things right? Tell me what to do!"

He was yelling. He had a right didn't he? She wouldn't even hear him out. That it was an honest mistake. She wouldn't hear it. She wouldn't let him in again. She was too good for that. Too good to get messy in a relationship.

Her head dropped, strands of her golden hair sliding to cover her face. Her tiny body dripping wet, the dress he bought clinging to her frame, she was the image of a defeated woman.

Mamoru took a step towards her. Why wouldn't she answer him? Another step. Could she even hear him? Two more steps.

"Get away from me Mamoru. Get the hell out of my life. How can you do this to me? How can you accuse me of being so…heartless?! You can't do anything to make this right. This is never going to be right. We are never going to be right!"

She stood on shaky feet. Her hands flailing, frantically gesturing, pushing her matted hair out of her eyes. Wiping the make up from under her eyes and failing miserably as the black streaks soaked into her skin.

"What made you change your mind Usagi? You haven't even heard my explanation. I didn't know that…"

"I don't give a shit what you didn't know Mamoru. You were kissing your ex. How do you think I feel about that? That punch was nothing compared to the retribution I should earn from this. Jesus Mamoru. How can you? How can you live treating people like this?"

She was stumbling towards him. Her hair draping over her eyes as she continually shoved it behind her ears. Her eyes flashing with anger. He held his ground.

"Don't be petty Usagi. No one deserves retribution. If you'd just hear me out."

She stopped her advance. Sobbing loudly again and yanking her dress from the ground in a desperate attempt to not completely destroy the hem.

"So what am I supposed to do with this pain Mamoru? Hmm? What do you propose I do? Bottle it up inside? Just like I did all those years ago when I was raped, touched and battered around? Do you want me to live through another life time of pain just because you think I should hear you out? There's nothing to hear Mamoru. You fucked me. I don't like being fucked."

Mamoru scowled, she was being completely irrational. Her abuse had nothing to do with him mistaking his ex for Usagi. He ran a hand through his wet hair, shaking the rain drops out of it.

"Usagi, stop guilt tripping me, this has nothing to do with you being abused. What happened tonight can be fixed. You just need to listen to me damnit!"

Something inside Usagi broke. A wall that held in her emotions was crushed and out flowed all her angst and pain. Pushing her towards him. Pushing her to beat at his chest in fury.

"Tonight can't be fixed! It can never be fixed! Not only did I lose you, I lost Dar! I fucking lost everything that was becoming important to me. I'll never be fixed. I couldn't save my own uncle. How can I…"

She stopped hitting his chest. Her hands falling limply by her side as she fell to the ground again. Wailing louder. 

"Usagi, who is Dar? What do you mean? What happened tonight?"

He knelt beside her, taking her face into his hands, forcing her eyes to his. Searching for answers in her dead, emotionless eyes.

"You broke me tonight. That's what fucking happened. Get your hands off me!"

She stood, wrapping her arms around her body and turning her back to Mamoru, turning her back to the pain.

"Usagi damnit all to hell! Just fucking listen to me. I thought Mizuno was you! That's why we were kissing! I fucking walked up behind her and thought she was you!"

Usagi glowered. Shoving her hair out of her eyes. She could almost laugh. It took him two hours to come up with such a pitiful excuse. 

"Get the hell away from me Mamoru."

"No. Two hours ago you were talking about falling for me and starting a relationship with me. Now you hate me? What's changed Usagi? What changed your mind?"

"My trust changed. I thought I could trust you. I did trust you. I told you things that I haven't shared with anyone! Things that could ruin me if it got into the wrong hands. Things that already have ruined me regardless. I let you in. I let you into my heart and you just kicked it around like a tattered piece of dirt. That's what fucking changed."

His gaze burned holes into her back. She was not the victim here. She was twisting the tale with every breath so she could be the victim.

"And I didn't tell you things that mattered to me? I didn't share with you my dark secrets? Everyone has them Usagi. Yours just happen to be a little darker and a little more painful than most. That doesn't change the fact that we can fix this! I can help you! Let me help you!"

She spun around, her open palm connecting with his cheek. Water splashed around them as the rain fell harder, the lightening cracked brighter and the thunder roared louder.

"I did let you help me! And this is what I get for it."

"So you think arguing in the rain, hitting me, ignoring my cries for help…you think all that will make you feel better?"

She balled her hands into fists. The gall of this man. He was -not- the victim here. Why the hell was he making himself sound so innocent. With a deadly gaze in her eyes she placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling him down to stare at her. Her voice was deadly soft and full of hatred.

"I don't ever want to see you again Mamoru Chiba. You have caused me enough pain for one night. For fucks sake! If I weren't so busy falling in love with you I could have saved Dartagnan! I could have…I'm leaving. Don't you dare try to contact me ever again!"

Usagi shoved his face back and spun on her ruined Blahnik's, striding away with a slight wobble in her step and an empty heart. New tears formed in her eyes. If it weren't for Mamoru Chiba she could have saved Dartagnan. It was too bloody late now.

She asked for some leave from the hospital, two days, when they told her how busy it was she simply said that her emotional attachment to the patient she lost would interfere with the two operations she had over the time she requested off. Usagi kindly informed Naru that another doctor could do her rounds and she would be willing to work overtime for the following two days to get on top of her schedule.

"But Usa, the second day will be Christmas eve. You can't…"

"Naru, I hate Christmas. You know that."

"Usa, your patients don't want to be in surgery for Christmas."

"Oh…"

"I'll phone them and re-schedule for later that week. I'm sure we can do some swapping and changing. They're not major operations. Nothing a few days won't hurt. Take care of yourself Usagi."

"Thank you Naru."

She walked to the balcony, lowering her tired, aching body, into the long bench that stretched across her rather large balcony area. It was raining outside, she wished it would stop raining. 

The rain reminded Usagi of the night before. Of Mamoru and Dartagnan. Of how she seemed to get screwed over by every man in her life. Even if Dartagnan didn't mean it. She hadn't even stopped to think that Mamoru might have been telling the truth. Such a pathetic excuse couldn't have been real. The only person she could possibly get the truth from was Mizuno. But…would Mizuno lie to protect her new relationship with Mamoru? Of course she would. Anyone would.

Usagi bought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tight around her legs, leaning her head on her knees.

Luna slumped onto her stomach in the doorway, seemingly exasperated with Usagi's mournful antics. She let out a pitiful squeak of a meow, too accustomed to ignorance on Usagi's behalf.

Usagi smiled though, patting a spot on the bench at her feet. The dark feline joined it's owner, staring out at the storm. The two of them wore pensive faces. 

"I used to love storms…"

Luna had curled up on Usagi's bare feet. Purring in content. Usagi longed for a life of such ease. The phone jostled her out of her thoughts. Her machine would get it. Even though the cordless was resting beneath her on the wooden bench. Usagi didn't want to speak to anyone. 

"Usagi. Makoto. I'm worried. Call me."

Short and to the point. Makoto was like that over the phone. But her voice warmed Usagi just that little bit and prompted her to reach under her legs. A talk with Mako might be nice. The phone rang in her hands, causing her to jump. She cautiously left it for the machine to pick up inside. 

"…"

Silence. Usagi listened intently. A male cleared his throat over her machine.

"Uh…"

Usagi frowned. It wasn't Mamoru.

"This is Motoki. Usagi, Ami and I…well…we're really worried about you. I mean, Ami said something awful had happened and you were so emotional when I saw you leaving last night and…can you call me? I mean you're probably at work now, but one of the nurses there said you were on leave for a couple of days. I went into see you. Don't be angry Usa…"

She smiled a little. Pressing the talk button.

"I'm fine Motoki. I lost a patient that night. He was…he was a close family friend."

"Oh…oh wow Usagi, I'm so sorry. How did…how did Ami know?"

Usagi frowned. Ami didn't know. Ami was too busy kissing Mamoru to know about…Motoki had no idea about last night. About Ami and Mamoru. About anything.

"I'm not sure…maybe Mamoru mentioned something."

"Have you spoken to Mamoru?"

Had she spoken to Mamoru. She definitely had. And gotten herself a nasty cold to show for it. Plus the blisters from walking all the way home in wet Blahnik's. Motoki had no idea.

"Usa?"

"Sorry. I spoke to him last night after my operation."

"And?"

"And, what?"

"Well he's not answering his phone. He's not at his office. He's not on his usual schedule. If he is at home, he's not answering his door. It's unlike him."

"Perhaps he's with…a woman."

She heard Motoki laughing. He really had no idea.

"If you're alone, than I doubt that he is with a woman."

"What are you talking about, Motoki?"

"He's totally hooked on you Usa, are you blind?"

Usagi clenched her fist. Staring out at the rain that had suddenly picked up.

"I'm sorry Motoki, I've got to get going, someone's at my door."

"Oh no, no, that's fine. If it's Mamoru, tell him to call me?"

"Oh I will. Bye Motoki."

"Bye Usa, take care, Ok?"

"Thanks."

As she hung up the phone she had the childish notion to throw it across the balcony. Usagi was tired of thinking. Of explaining. Of listening.

The phone rang again. Usagi jumped in shock as her heart beat raced. The bloody phone. With something akin to a growl, Usagi stalked inside, tossing the phone onto the couch and retreating to the kitchen. The machine beeped into action.

"Usa, darling, it's your mother. I just got the news about Dar. I'm so sorry sweetie, I know how much you adored him. You must be distraught. We're having the annual Christmas eve dinner party at the manor. Your secretary said you had the day off. Why don't you come over, spend some time with the family, help us prepare and what not. It'll get your mind off…it's not a big dinner. Just a few lawyers, no doctors I promise. Please come Usa. Call me back."

Usagi sighed. She heard the pain in her mothers voice. Maybe a day at the manor would be nice. She needed to get back in touch with her roots. Immerse herself in her family life. As vain as her mother was, she was the only person that understood the true loss of Dartagnan. Usagi scooped the phone off the couch and dialed the manor. It looked like she would be spending the following day with her family.

~*MUAH*~

__

When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down because I am already here.


	11. Chapter Ten Slowly Giving In

Omg, it's finally arrived. The last chapter of Stark White Christmas. *cracks up* And so late for Christmas 2002. HAHAAH. -.-;; it's not even 2002 anymore. I'm so pathetic. Anyway. Thank you to all my readers. And to everyone who reviewed. IM'd or emailed me about this fic. I am so touched by the response and I will always remember each and everyone of you who left comments for me as I continue writing new pieces. Really, authors aren't just fluffing out bullshit when they say reviews push them forward. This would never have been finished if it weren't for you darling readers. Thank you so much. And -your- reward? The tenth, and final chapter of Stark White Christmas. Merry Christmas . . ^^;;

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rating: R

****

Stark White Christmas

The drive to the manor was long and painful. Usagi had found her broken heart CD mix with all the sorrowful tunes imaginable. She blared it from her player, singing along with certain songs, pensively thinking about others. 

She left the top down of the convertible Jaguar. Regardless of the weather, Usagi just wanted to feel the wind blowing at her. Reminding her that she was real, and that she was grounded. For that, she received many glances from the senior citizens driving alongside her. And for that, she received many woops and yells from the younger drivers. She didn't notice any of this. All she noticed was her pain. And her loss. And before she knew it she had pulled up in the driveway of the manor. Her mother sitting on the grand entrance steps, smoking a cigar.

"Usa!"

She'd been crying, maybe from the harsh cigar smoke, but probably because of Dartagnan. Usagi didn't even turn the engine off. She just ran to her mother, wrapping her arms around the older woman. Giving in to her pain. Admitting her loss.

Finally after the cigar was finished, the tears had stopped and someone had attended to Usagi's car and luggage, the pair spoke.

Usagi's head was resting on her mother's stomach, her legs spread wide, arms resting on her knees, two steps below her mother who had produced a packet of cigarettes. The two women smoked languidly, as if it were a normal occurrence. Usagi and Ilene had quit smoking together four years earlier.

"Was it painful?" Ilene passed the ashtray down to Usagi.

"No. He was sleeping, I did everything I could think of doing. I don't…I can't…understand what went wrong."

Ilene smiled through her silent tears, running her hands through Usagi's golden hair. Gently massaging her daughters scalp.

"Life went wrong, my precious Bunny. It always does."

"I know. I just…I lose patients rarely, it's still new to me mum. And to have to deal with this when it's someone so dear to me, you know?"

Ilene just nodded as Usagi continued.

"Aside from Rupert…Uncle Dar was…well, you know how it is for me."

Usagi felt a violent need to cling to her mother as her old feelings were invoked. She felt a kiss being planted on her head. She lit another cigarette.

"I wish you could find a man to change all that Usagi."

'I nearly did.' Usagi frowned at the thought. She didn't. She knew that. Mamoru was just playing her like the other girls. What would it take for her to realise that? Usagi closed her eyes, exhaling the smoke of the cigarette.

"Is Rei coming tonight?"

Usagi stood, stretching her muscles and offering a hand to her mother. The two walked, hand in hand, into the grand house.

"She is. Jadeite too. I've invited your friends too darling. Mako and Mina. Their men. All of Rupert's family will be here too. We're expecting at least a hundred for the after dinner party."

Usagi smiled. Her mother had made it out to be a small gathering of Rupert's lawyer friends. Not to worry. She could always retreat to her suite if things got too rough. Too painful. Too nostalgic.

"And what needs to be done?"

Ilene smiled, squeezing her daughters hand. 

"Nothing. We need to be done. I had little Beryl hire some movies. You and I are going to be lazy today."

Usagi laughed.

"Little Beryl is my age mother, and I thought you fired her."

"For what?"

"For being a bitch."

"Usa! She's just the hired help. She's no concern of mine. Come on sweetie. Let's relax. Then we'll have time for a quick nap before the dinner will begin."

"I don't need napping, mum!"

Ilene laughed, pulling Usagi closer to her and wrapping her in a hug.

"Then you can amuse yourself for a while, while I do old lady things."

The mother and daughter retreated into the upstairs lounge room where they spent the better half of the day watching action movies.

Punch, kick, roll, rise. Punch, kick, roll, rise. Punch, kick, roll, pain.

"Damnit! Ow!"

"Usagi, what is with you today? Whenever you train with me you're usually way more focused than this!"  
"Sorry Art. I'm just…not with it today."

Usagi took the hand of her mothers personal martial arts trainer. She'd decided to spar with him for the afternoon to release some tension. The only problem was her concentration. Usually his sessions helped her gain some inner peace but today she was completely off.

"Damn right you're off, Usagi, your mother doesn't pay me to hang around here and beat your ass down. Do you want to continue?"

Usagi nodded, tightening her pony tail and stepping back into her fighting stance. Art flipped his long bleached hair over his shoulder, raising the punching pads high. She began the combination. A jab, a roundhouse kick, a defense roll and an uppercut rise. 

Finally she had sunk deep into her routine. Art grunting every once in awhile. A sign of approval. Her toned legs slammed hard into the sparring pad. A thwacking sound filling the room. She didn't hear anything though. She just felt her muscles tensing and relaxing. She felt the real pain. The pain that made her feel alive. Nothing that ached. Just an exuberant twang that reminded her how human she was.

"Usagi! Snap out of it!"

Usagi stopped mid kick to see Rei standing in the doorway. She was dressed in a deep red dress billowing around her knees. She looked elegant with her dark hair pulled into a bun. Even though they had somewhat worked out their differences over the phone, Usagi could still hear the bite in Rei's voice.

"Rei. Hi, what time is it?"

"Usa, it's almost 6pm. If you want to make dinner on time you'd want to end your session and take a shower."

Usagi smiled graciously at Art, embracing him warmly. He returned the gesture, patting her back with the sparring pads. Causing her to laugh.

"You take it easy, Usa! I want you off your feet on Christmas. You hear?"

She smiled wider. Nodding and raising her hands in defeat.

"Of course. As you wish, master."

Usagi was answered with her screaming cell phone. She shot it a glare, swiping it off the work bench. Mamoru's name was flashing across the screen. She smiled over her shoulder at Art, making as if she was answering it. As soon as she was out of the room she switched the phone off.

"Who was that, Usagi?"

Her eyes flew upwards to meet Rei's, who were smiling with a coy glimmer. Rei knew. Rei knew it all.

"Mamoru. I'm not talking to him."

"Good. See you at dinner."

Rei's voice was a little too cheery. A little too pleased. Like she'd single handedly settled the problem of Usagi and Mamoru. Usagi knew though, that problem was unfixable. They were meant to be broken. With that thought resonating in her mind, Usagi made her way to her bedroom to prepare for the dinner.

It was a pleasant dinner. The tinkling melodies of modern day Christmas carols sounded throughout the grand dining room. Usagi ate little, and talked less. Not many noticed. There were several guests seated around the table, each chatting idly to the other. Usagi secretly reveled in the fact that Mamoru was not seated at the table.

She had worried that Rupert or Rei had slipped Mamoru an invite or a mutual friend of theirs had mentioned the party. What would she had done if Mamoru had arrived all smiles and cigars, talking law and ogling other women at the dinner.

"Merry Christmas!"

Usagi snapped out of her thoughts and smiled at the stranger in front of her.

"You too. And a Happy New Year!"

"Cheer up darling, another year's just another year. You'll get used to it as you get older."

The older woman winked before shuffling away to mingle with other guests. If only she knew. If only all of them knew. The years went by a lot slower when you harbored emotional scarring and loneliness.

A voice hissed inside Usagi's head. Telling her she could have prevented this. She could have forgiven him. She could have accepted his lie. Was it a lie? Was she even sure he was lying.

A deep frown etched itself across Usagi's face. Could a man really mistake another woman for her? Mizuno did look remarkably like Usagi that night. Especially standing at that mirror. Even more so with the amount of champagne Mamoru had consumed. 

Usagi began questioning her judgement. She may have made a big mistake, she could have…

"Madame? There is a young gentleman requesting your company in the entry-way."

Usagi looked up at the butler, her frown deepening.

"Who is it?"

"A Mr. Chiba, Madame."

Her back straightened. Mamoru had come, uninvited, to her parents home. She looked frantically about, no one seemed to notice her interaction with the butler. If she could get rid of him quickly, no one would ever notice. 

She stood, smiling at her mother and excusing herself to the bathroom. With quick steps, she followed the butler to the entryway. He bowed deeply, offering her privacy on the huge porch.

"Mamoru…"

"Usagi. Don't talk, just listen to me for a…"

"Mamoru, you're an uninvited guest. I suggest you leave before we have security remove you from the premises."

He grabbed her arm, yanking her close to his chest, his hot breath on her face. She saw a wildness in his eyes that she had never seen before. The look of a feral dog almost. Goosebumps fluttered over her arms.

"I don't give a damn, Usagi. You will fucking listen to me…"

"Madame? Is everything alright? I heard raised voices."

Usagi yanked her arm out of Mamoru's grasp. Stalking to the doorway. 

"Call security, I want this man escorted of the property."

"Yes, Ma-am."

Usagi strode inside, her head held high, her heart breaking slowly. She wanted to listen to him. She wanted to forgive him. To love him. To lie in his arms and forget about their treacherous past. 

"Get your hands off me!"

Usagi had only just re-entered the dining room when she heard Mamoru's voice. She stopped, ice cold. The guests had heard him this time. This time, they would notice him. She could hear his footsteps clicking on the tiled floor. They were brisk. He was running.

Everyone was still in the dining room as Mamoru burst in, grabbing Usagi by the shoulders. Rupert stood.

"I suggest you let my daughter go, Mr. Chiba."

Mamoru shot him a glare, his eyes leaving Usagi's for a brief moment before piercing right into her being once again.

"Usagi. What is it going to take to make you realise I thought she was -you-?"

Usagi set her jaw, glaring up at him.

"I told you to leave me alone Mamoru."

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!"

She kept her voice quiet, low and with a deadly tone of ice.

"You're embarrassing my family and I."

He laughed at this. The wildness returned to his eyes.

"Well you'll just have to be embarrassed, because I'm not leaving until you hear me out."

Usagi moved her eyes to meet Rei's. Sympathy filled Rei's gaze. She felt sorry for Usagi. Jadeite slipped his arm around her shoulders. Whispering something in Rei's ear that made her snicker.

A deep blush spread across Usagi's face. Her mother and Rupert were standing in an act of defiance. The rest of the guests were sitting, hushed, fixated on Mamoru and Usagi.

"Alright. I'll hear you out. Let's go outside."

"No. You'll hear me out here."

Usagi pleaded with his eyes. Her mother would be mortified about this interruption to her dinner party.

"Mamoru, it would be best if you settle with only me being upset with you, rather than my family, and their guests as well. Come on, we'll talk in the study."

She saw him thinking this over. He reasoned that it would be wiser to stay in Rupert's good books. If he could figure this out with Usagi, there would be no need to hold a grudge against one of the most powerful lawyers in New York. 

He nodded. Turning to the guests. He bowed his head in a gesture of apology.

"Forgive me, this woman has driven me absolutely insane."

The guests laughed. Rupert and Irene smiled and resumed their seats. Rei simply stared at Usagi and Mamoru with a stone gaze. 

Mamoru's hands dropped from Usagi's shoulders, he rested on in the small of her back as they exited the dining room.

"Lead the way."

She could hear victory in his voice. She dared not look at him, but in her mind, she saw the smug smirk of satisfaction that he would probably be wearing. She hated giving in. And each minute that passed, Usagi's mind reasoned that his excuse, was indeed, viable. 

God, she hated giving in.

The study was dark when they entered. Usagi automatically reached for the light switch, but Mamoru grabbed her wrist. He pulled her to Rupert's huge desk, forcing her to sit down in the chair. She rolled her eyes.

"Stop treating me like a hostage."

He ignored her, turning to the window and yanking the curtains open. She finally took him in, standing at the window, bathed in moonlight. He looked like everything she wanted, everything she needed, everything she ruined for herself. She was giving in with every breath of him she inhaled.

"I really did think she was you."

"I don't care."

He sighed deeply. Turning to face her. The wildness in his eyes was gone. He looked ghoulish standing in the dark room with nothing but the moon behind him. 

"I meant what I said in the dining room, Usagi."

"What? That I'd hear you out in there? Not a man to stick to his word I see."

He stalked to her, towering above her. She saw something in his eyes, something that reminded her of childhood. It was the darkness that consumed the men that abused her. 

"Mamo…"

"I meant that you've driven me insane. I can't handle another moment without sorting this out with you. I need to sort this out with you." 

He crouched down, resting his arms on her legs. His chin nestling onto his arms. She looked down into his dark eyes. She saw only a broken man, pleading with her. For what?

"Why, Mamoru? So you can have closure? So you can go back to pestering me at the hospital? So you can go onto your next conquest?"

He stood abruptly, causing her to jump. His hand flew through his hair, his own simple gesture of frustration.

"No! There wasn't going to be any other conquests. There was just going to be you and me. And we were going to be each others conquests. For each other. We were going to be together. We were so close, Usagi. God. If you'd only believe me."

He was standing at the window again, a hand resting on either frame. His head hanging low. He heaved a loud sigh, looking like an old, haggard man.

When Usagi spoke, her voice was soft, and full of pain, regret. Any emotion that hadn't been drained from her the night before. A headache settled in behind her eyes.

"Even if I did believe you, there would always be that doubt. Don't you see? I'm fragile enough…I couldn't stand doubting you. It wouldn't be fair to either of us."

She nearly whimpered in pain. Every moment of the past two days hit her at full force. Pounding filled her ears, her eyes blurred with tears. Of pain? Of emotional stress? She didn't even know. 

"Can't you let me take away the doubt? Let me build trust with you? Can't you…?"

She did whimper this time. She was already emotionally broken, this time though, she physically broke. 

"Usa? What is it?"

"Aspirin…"

"What's wrong? You're crying. I'm sorry. Jesus, don't cry."

Her hand flew to her head, squeezing her temples. She needed to bury herself in warmth and darkness and…sleep.

"I need to…"

"Usagi, talk to me? What's wrong?"

She looked up at him, his eyes were wide with concern. His hands covering hers. When had he crouched in front of her again? She didn't even see him leave the window. Did he run to her out of concern? Her vision blurred again.

"Usa…let me get you help. God. Just…don't fall asleep…or something…"

"No!"

She wrapped her shaking hands around his wrist. If he got Rupert and Irene, they'd fuss and fiddle and put her to bed in a guest room. She wanted her apartment. Her room. Her bed.

"Well what? You're the Doctor. Tell me what's wrong?"

"It's just…Oh God!"

Another wave of pain shoved at her head. This was one killer migraine.

His hands rested on each of her temples, rubbing in a circular motion. Usagi closed her eyes. Her head, involuntarily tilted into his hand. He was hushing her quietly. She could hear the true concern in his voice. Her resistance gave in just a little more.

"Shall I put you to bed, Usagi?"

Her eyes flew open with another pang of pain.

"I want to go home."

Even to her own ears, her voice sounded pitiful. Defeated. Pain-filled. He nodded, lifting her into his arms. She fell asleep then. Her head resting gently on his shoulder. He didn't even inform her parents that they were leaving, just told one of the butlers that he'd be escorting her home. Several cars were pulling up in the driveway. It was the after-dinner party. He hoped that Usagi didn't mind missing it. 

Usagi awoke at around 1am. She was surrounded in darkness and dressed in her underwear. Where was she? With a groan of pain, Usagi rolled over to see her digital clock flashing the time in neon green. She was at home.

She let out another drowsy groan, sitting up slowly. A dull thud filled her head. Of course! The migraine. So Mamoru really did take her home. A small smile lingered on her face for a moment as she remembered the look of terror and concern on his face.

He took her home…and undressed her. The smile fell and was replaced by a blush. There was no light in her room except for the small rectangle that filtered through underneath the door. She could hear the TV. He'd left her damn TV on. Typical.

Usagi slipped on some pajama pants that were lying on the floor of her room. So Mamoru had tried to dress her. How noble of him.

Usagi yawned, staggering a little as she made her way to the doorway. Upon opening it, she slammed her eyes shut. Not quite ready to adjust to the light, she rubbed at her eyes like a child.

"Morning."

He was awake. In her home. Watching her TV. 

"What are you doing here?"

Her voice was thick with sleep. Her eyes opening slowly to adjust to the light.

"I just wanted to be here when you woke up, to make sure you were alright."

She felt her heart melt into a puddle that pooled at her feet. With something akin to a stumble, she made her way to the couch, dropping down into it with a heaved sigh.

"You know, you make it so hard for me to hate you."

His laughter comforted her. She missed it. She only realised now how much she did. How much she missed his warmth. His wit, his eyes. His arms. His fingers, playing with a small strand of her hair.

She frowned, moving her head out of his reach. Usagi was resting her back against the arm of the couch, her feet curling up beneath her.

"So…"

He mirrored her position at the other end of the couch, only his feet stretched out to rest either side of her. She mentally noticed that he had nice feet. In the same thought, she reprimanded herself.

"So, you wanna tell me what happened back there, Usagi?"

She raised an eyebrow. He was serious. His eyes imploring her to reveal the cause of her 'sickness'. 

"Well Mamoru, you found me, and decided to force me to hear you out, just as the roller coaster of my life sweeped to its all time low."

He frowned.

"What happened that night? When you were in the hospital? Something happened."

She laughed uncomfortably.

"How can you be sure it wasn't just solely you that pushed me to this state?"

"Because you're stronger than that. It takes more than me fucking up to push you to this."

He looked, deep into her eyes.

"Who is Dartagnan?" 

She took a sharp intake of breath. When had she mentioned him? In all her abusive ramblings did she bring him up? Jesus. 

"My Uncle."

"There's more to it than that…who is he?"

She sighed deeply, turning her face from him, feeling tears well in her eyes.

"Usagi…?"

"He's my Uncle. And he's dead."

He frowned, taking her hands into his. She let out a loud sob. Her body shaking with tears. He didn't even have to prompt her to crawl into his embrace. She curled into him, sobbing loudly.

"I couldn't even save him, Mamoru. God, my own Uncle. He was the only man…the only one…I couldn't even save him. How can anyone see any good in me when I can't even save…"

"Usagi! Come on. That's not fair."

She was sobbing loudly. He could feel the tears seeping into his shirt. A familiar sensation. His mind took him back to the night they got drunk together. The night he fell head over heels for Usagi Tsukino. Or was it the night she threw the drink into his face? Perhaps the afternoon in her office when she beat into his chest until he forcefully made her stop. Then there was the time he was standing so close to her he could smell the goodness in her hair. The feeling of her arm in his, as they wandered through the gardens of her parents home. The constant bickering. The sight of her in tears. The sound of her laughing. All this time he was slowly falling for her and it took now, to see her broken, to see her at her lowest, for Mamoru to realise that he was deeply in love with Usagi Tsukino. And the prospect terrified him. Simply because he had, most likely, screwed up. Before it had even begun.

She stopped sobbing, her tears reduced to quiet sniffles. There were no more tears seeping into his shirt. 

"I'm sorry, Usagi."

She nodded. Her hands wrapping around his collar, clinging to him tightly. She didn't want to let go. She didn't want to move. She wanted to fall asleep in his arms as if nothing had happened. She wanted to forgive him. She wanted to love him like she did the night of the gala. But most of all, she wanted to be loved by him.

It wasn't more than half an hour before Usagi was snoring softly. Mamoru decided against his judgement of spending a night with Usagi in his arms, and carried her to bed. He left a note of goodbye on the kitchen bench, telling her to call him if she needed to talk or what not. The ball was in her court.

It was snowing outside. Quite heavily. Christmas eve. Usagi returned to work the next day. She'd have to push the emotions aside. Forget the confusion that Mamoru had stirred in her with his note. She'd have to continue with her lonely life.

"Call him, Usagi. You love him don't you?"

She stared at the steaming coffee mug in her hands. Blowing ripples in it idly.

"Yes. No. Yes. Mako…"

Minako leaned over and patted Usagi's hand softly.

"Call him. Even if it's to tell him to get out of your life for good. You need -some- sort of closure."

"I can't tell him to get out of my life on Christmas Eve. That's heartless."

"Well he's been pretty heartless these past couple of days."

Makoto shot Minako a glare. It was clear who was for, and who was against a relationship with Mamoru. Usagi sighed as she sat on the fence with the whole situation.

"Minako is right though. You do need closure. I think it's clear the type of closure I want."

Minako took a long sip of her latte, rolling her eyes at Makoto. A Christmas Carol began to play through the speakers, which was unusual for the usual upbeat music Starbucks was renowned for. Even in the Christmas season.

"Do you believe him about Mizuno?"

Usagi nodded. She had spoken to Motoki, who was finally clued into the situation by Mizuno herself. The phone was passed to the surgeon later on in the conversation, who was in tears, apologising profusely to Usagi. 

Usagi nearly burst into tears herself. She had thrown it away for nothing. And now, as she sat in Starbucks with her two friends, she felt more tears welling in her eyes. How many times had she cried this week? Too many. She hated Christmas.

"Do you love him?"

It was Makoto again. She was so bent on Usagi and Mamoru being together, it was almost cute.

"I gave in to loving him at the gala. And now, after I've thrown it away for nothing, I still love him."

Minako smiled a little. Sharing a glance with Makoto.

"So call him."

This time it was Minako trying to persuade her.

"No…well…I will, but not for that reason. I can't be with him. It started off too messy. There is too much angst involved with us. It would be too hard for me not to dwell on it."

"So you'd sacrifice being with him because you're worried about angst? You and him could work it out. I know you could."

Usagi stood, throwing a few dollar bills on the table. She kissed each of her friends on the cheek, squeezing their shoulders in thanks.

"I can't…I can't do it to myself. Or to him. Merry Christmas, my angels!"

They both smiled sadly. Waving her goodbye. Each wishing that Usagi would change her mind.

"Hello?"

His voice was gruff, thick with sleep and glazed with annoyance. She nearly hung up in fear. Her hands were already sweaty, her heart beating at a rapid pace. Why the hell was she so nervous. This would be the last time she'd speak to him. Then it would be over. All of this pain would be over.

"Hello…?"

She cleared her throat. Laughing a little too nervously into the speaker.

"Mamoru…It's…"

"Usagi?"

"Yeah. Listen, I hate to do this over the phone but…"

"You sound sick, do you want me to come over?"

"No…no. Just…let me speak ok? Don't interrupt me."

"Okay…"

Usagi nervously twisted her wall-phone cord in her fingers. The two glasses of champagne did nothing to ease her nerves and she found herself propping the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she poured herself another.

"You're probably wondering where I stand…with everything. With us. Right?"

"Right…"

"Well…I can't…I can't be with you, Mamoru."  
"Oh."

He sounded so disappointed. So hurt. So childlike. Her heart tightened in pain and she downed a mouthful of champagne, feeling a little dizzy as it went straight to her head. 

Mamoru had sunk to his own bed, frowning a little in confusion. His own glass of cognac resting on the bedside table, half empty.

"Can I ask why?"

"I can't put you through that. It's not fair on you. I can't even put myself through it. I'm too…emotional, Mamoru. And with our history…I just…I couldn't do that to you."

She heard him sigh. She didn't see his jaw clench, to the point that veins were showing on his neck.

"I'm willing to try, Usagi. You don't need to shelter me. You mean enough to me for me to want to fight for you."

"But that's not enough Mamoru. You can't give me what I need and I can't give you what I want. If it were…"

She paused. If they were strangers. God…if only she could run into him on the street and strike up a friendship.

"What? If it were?"

"If we had met under different circumstances, perhaps. If I met you at The Niche. On the street. At the park. Anywhere but NYG."

"Jesus, Usagi, now you're just being lame."

She frowned deeper. Tightening her grip on the phone.  
"No…I don't think I am."

There was a deep silence. Both of them sunk into their own thoughts for over a minute. It was Mamoru who finally spoke.

"Well…Merry Christmas."

He hung up. And then he smashed his glass of cognac against the wall. A second glass of alcohol lost to his wall because of Usagi. 

Usagi let out a withered sigh as she listened to the dial tone for five minutes. She threw back the rest of her champagne slumped onto the couch.  
"Merry fucking Christmas."

Luna looked up at her with curiosity, meowing softly. 

"Shut up, Luna. I hate Christmas."

Wow…I can't believe I've finally finished. Jesssssssssus. That was so…liberating : ))

~*MUAH*~

__

When everything is gone, there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down, because I'm already here.


	12. Epilogue I really don't hate Christmas

Gotcha! Hah! Judging by the outcry from my readers you all fell for my prank ;) Really, how could I leave it there? IT was all a scheme, a scheme I say. Just trying to keep you, my darling readers, on your toes. It was cruel, I do admit. But hey, I felt that one last twist was needed to keep the spark of Stark White alive. And wow, what a response, it's amazing who comes out of the woodworks when displeased. I assure you, I was hugely amused by some of the reviews. One in particular though I believe Kats made enough of an example of them than what was required. Let's just say that hopefully this will put point back into an otherwise pointless', pathetic' and empty' story. I should have posted this sooner. It was done when the last update was done, but I have been having a hard time with my browser. Plus, University enrolments take up a lot of time. *sighs* ah the drama's of being a drama teacher. O.o ohhh that was a pun*cheers* Anyway. This really -is- the last and final installment of Stark White Christmas. Thank you all for the support and encouraging me along my journey. Look out for other romances from moi. I have so many ideas hatching in my mind. Muah! Thank you.

Oh...before i forget...:( I feel really awful about a certain reviewer. Hitomi Lei, if you're reading this, i'm so sorry about your test. :( I didn't mean for you to bomb it. . I feel like I should make it up to you...though I don't knwo how. O.O!!! You could be my beta-reader if you like. O.o :D Email me. We'll figure something out. I owe it to you. ^^;; Sorrrrrrrrrry.

Author: Cher

Email: Usachi_10@hotmail.com

Homepage: www.geocities.com/mavercadaver/

Rating: R (Language)

**Stark White Christmas**

Christmas day was hectic, as it was to be expected. Usagi felt naked without her Santa hat and cheery smile. The conversation with Mamoru last night completely wiped her smile away.

Probably for the next two months. What could she expect? She had put them into this position. It was completely her responsibility and she would carry it alone. Mamoru would be able to move on quickly, back to his bachelor lifestyle. Back to his streams of women. To his sordid sex affairs. 

Usagi stiffened. Why was she torturing herself like this? She was the one that pushed him away. He was going to fight for her. He told her that. He was willing to fight with her. And she could hear the depth of his words. Hear the truth. But she still pushed him away.

The crowded hallways made her feel claustrophobic. She frowned as a small boy on a stretcher was wheeled past her. On Christmas Day? Her life was not as depressing as some. At least she was not threatened with loss of life. At least she had a home to go to. At leastit still didn't help the emptiness in her heart.

"Dr. Tsukino!"

She spun around to see a young intern weaving his way through the crowd. A smile was forced to her face.  
"Merry Christmas, Doc!"

"Hey, thanks Tai."

"You know my name?"

She frowned, looking down at the young man before her. He looked so astounded. Sothankful.

"Of course I do!"

She was laughing at him. Why the hell wouldn't she know his name? She did rounds with him almost three times a week. Of course she knew his damn name.

"Ohyou know, it's just that the other surgeons and Doctors don't reallywell."

He cleared his throat, looking around nervously.

"Anywaya few of us interns are stopping by The Niche after the shift for some Christmas drinks. Did you want to come with?"

It was Usagi's turn to look around nervously. She really didn't have it in her to be out drinking with the youngens.

"Uhthanks for the offer but, I really don't feel up to it. I have one last operation and then I'm heading home to bed."

Tai rolled his eyes, grabbing her wrist in a childlike manner.

"Come on. It's Christmas. Just one drink! You won't regret it."

Usagi glanced briefly at her watch and sighed. She -had- to go prep for surgery. She didn't have time to argue with him.

"Fine. I'll head over after this op."

"Great! See you then, Doc."

He was gone as quickly as he had arrived. Darting away to coerce another tired, withered doctor into joining the group at the club.

Usagi sighed, making her way to surgery. It was going to be a long Christmas.

There was a small note waiting for her on her desk as she slumped into her chair after the grueling operation. Naru had long gone home to her family, the hospital was practically empty. Usagi assumed that most Doctors had left their shifts to drink at The Niche. 

Usagi took no care as she tore the envelop open. She frowned as a small slip of paper fell out. 

It was a flyer for The Niche. She frowned again. There was nothing written on it, just an average flyer with the address of the bar and a classy picture. That was, until, Usagi flipped it over. There was a time scrawled on the blank back of the paper and a picture of two cherries, each wearing a Santa hat.

The time scribbled on the paper was 8pm. Usagi glanced at her watch, it read 7.49pm. Who was the sender of this strange note? She racked her brain. Nothing rang a bell. Who could have been sending her such strange messages? Perhaps if she showed up at The Niche she'd figure out. She was going there anyway. Why not. A little Christmas fun never hurt. 

The music was painfully cheery as Usagi slipped out of her coat and scarf. She felt like rolling her eyes and sitting in a dark corner to be one of those cynics that did such things on Christmas night at a bar.

She saw her colleagues occupying several booths towards the back of the club. With a small sigh, she made her way over. Smiling a little fakely as some of the Doctors waved at her.

Choruses of Merry Christmas rang in her ears. It was just a little too cheery for her. She had to get drunk. And quick. A niggling thought ebbed it's way into her consciousness. What was Mamoru doing right now? Had she totally ruined his Christmas spirits with her dismissal last night? She hoped not.

"Hey Doc! Good to see you! Let me get you a drink?"

She smiled down at Tai who was lounging in the booth, he swung his legs off the seat to give her somewhere to sit. She smiled and slid in.

"I'll wait till the next round, don't trouble yourself."

"That's cool."

If only it were cool'. If only Usagi's life was cool'. If. Only. She hated the possibilities of if's and what about's and all that questionable bullshit. Usagi must have been pouting. Or frowning. Or generally hating where she was, because someone threw some streamers at her as the ran by.

She was pulling them from her shoulder when a waiter approached her with a coy smile.

"Miss, this is for you."

A red drink was placed in front of her. Two cherries bobbing up and down in the martini glass. A smile drew itself across Usagi's face. 

"Thank youwho is this from?"

The waiter smiled, pointing to the bar, but stopping short. He was pointing at an empty barstool. 

"I'mI'm sure he was sitting there a moment ago. I'll go look for him if you like?"

Usagi smiled and shook her head.

"No, no, it's fine. Thank you."

The waiter nodded, still staring at the empty stool in confusion. Usagi frowned as the waiter moved away. She picked the cherries out of the glass and wrapped her tongue around one, pulling it slowly off its stem. 

"Trying to seduce me, Doc?"

She turned quickly to see Tai grinning lopsidedly. She laughed, rolling her eyes. The alcohol was consuming him, she noted. What was it about the mention of seduction and the taste of cherries that caused her mind to haze? 

She was tapped on the shoulder, dragging her out of her thoughts. The same waiter smiling at her again. He slipped a card across the table and winked, sauntering back to the bar. The mysterious drink giver, had appeared it seemed. 

Usagi smiled, rolling her eyes a little at the childish games this person was playing with her. This was something teenagers played at when they were visiting underage disco's and what not. Nonetheless, Usagi played along.

She read the card, frowning a little. Only two words were written on it. Along with the same two cherries that wore Santa hats.

_Turn Around_

She didn't even recognise the handwriting. It was printed and purposeful. No one she knew wrote thatboldly.

Usagi looked about her. No one seemed to be paying attention to the escapades of Usagi and her mysterious stranger.

Usagi attempted to look bored as she turned slowly. She saw nothing but empty booths behind her booth. Previously occupied by the doctors that had left just minutes ago to be with their families. Usagi was about to turn back around when something caught her eye. A white pom-pom resting on the top of the corner booth. She frowned.

It looked as though it belonged to a Santa hat. Usagi turned again, making sure no one was watching as she stood and slowly walked to the corner booth. Sure enough, there, on top of the booth, sat a Santa hat.

She picked it up, fingering the soft velvet material. Another card fell out. She flipped it over, seeing the two trademark cherries and this time, only one word.

_Sit_

And sit she did, still holding the bored look, but dying on the inside. Her stomach began to turn. Who was this mysterious card giver? 

She toyed nervously with the pom-pom of the hat. Frowning a little as a thought struck her. Hadn't she lost her Santa hat from the hospital? The one that she printed her initials onto the tag to prevent her mixing it up with the other surgeons hats. 

With a raised eyebrow, Usagi reached into the hat and peered at the tag. Sure enough, U.T was printed in blue biro across the plastic white tag. Where the hell had this come from?

Suddenly, a bowl of cherries was slid to rest in front of her. She looked up, expecting to see a waiter, but all she saw was a tall man, wearing a stained blue shirt. Usagi's eyes lifted to his face, which was covered by a rather large scarf he wore. On his head, sat a Santa hat. She tried to see his eyes, tried to recognize him, tried to find something acknowledgeable about him, but failed miserably. It was just too dark in the club.

"Hi."

He had a cheerful voice, too cheerful. Usagi didn't like him already. He looked silly in the big scarf and Santa hat. She peered over her shoulder to assure herself none of her colleagues could see her.

"Have a cherry. I hear you like em."

His voice was grating on her nerves. She didn't want to be sitting at this table, with this man who had stalked her all evening with his novel cards.

"Cat got your tongue?"

She raised her eyes to his, or at least, where she thought his would be, he was leaning back in the shadows now, she could barely make out his face.

"I'm just tired. My name is Usagi Tsukinoalthough I'm fairly sure you gathered that. What is the meaning of all this?"

He took a cherry from the bowl. Slipping it into his mouth with ease.

"Not much, I'm just a stranger who wants to meet you under certain circumstances."

She frowned, popping a cherry into her own mouth.

"Well, you're hardly a stranger, you've obviously followed me around my workplace. Left notes on my desk, stolen personally belongings of mine."

She waved the Santa hat in front of his face by its pom-pom. He laughed. Snatching it of her own grip.

"You should put it on. I feel a little silly wearing this."

"So take it off."

"But it's Christmas."

Usagi laughed at him, slipping another cherry into her mouth.

"I hate Christmas."

"I know you do."

She frowned, how did he know that? How did anyone know that? She only muttered that phrase to herself. Or to

"Cherries are great aren't they?"

Her seemingly permanent frown, deepened. 

"Yes they're"

"Unique."

She raised an eyebrow, taking a cherry by the stem and wrapping her tongue around it. She was good at this.

"I was going to say bold."

He shifted a little too uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat. 

"Tantalising even."

She could just see a smirk under that scarf. See -his- smirk under that scarf.

"What did you say your name was?"

"I didn'tbut might I be so bold to introduce myself? We are after all, strangers, meeting under certain circumstances."

"What happened to your shirt?"

He chuckled. He knew she was onto him. Knew she had an inkling. 

"I upset a woman I loved. She threw a drink on me."

Usagi's back straightened. It couldn't be him. He didn'the didn't love her. She was the woman who threw the drink but he didn't love

"Well you obviously didn't love her too much to have upset her."

He shrugged, nonchalantly leaning an arm on the top of his seat. The scarf came a little loose and Usagi saw a smirking mouth, shadows dancing across it. The play of light was making her dizzy, her quickened pulse making her breathing rapid.

"I love her enough."

"It's hot in here. Why are you wearing a scarf?"

"Because I'm about to take you outside."

Usagi felt tears in her eyes. The voice of this man lost it's cheerful quality, it regained it's usual deep timbre. It was, who she suspected. And he knew that she knew.

Her voice was breathless when she spoke, her cheeks flushing a deep red.

"I don't walk about at night with strangers."

In a swift movement, he had stood, holding his hand out to her. The scarf falling completely away to reveal, Mamoru Chiba wearing a Santa hat.

"I'm Mamoru Chiba."

She took his hand with her own weak one, shaking it with glazed eyes. She felt herself being pulled to her feet. Pulled into his chest. Into his arms. Into his life.

"I'mTsukino."

Usagi clung to him, wrapping her hands into his stained shirt. The shirt that she had ruined. Pressing her body to his. His arms wrapped around her body, she could feel his heart beating quickly. Her grip on his shirt tightened. It was all she could do to keep herself from falling. 

She could hear her colleagues wolf-whistling across the room. A heavy blush tinted her cheeks. Her tear-filled eyes turned to his.

"I thought I blew it. I thought I lost my chance."

He laughed, bringing his lips to her forehead. Brushing ever so softly against her heated skin.

"You know I can't stop chasing you. It's like I said, I don't know why you bother running, Usa."

She ignored the streamers flying past them. The hoots and cheers of her friends. She ignored their surroundings. She ignored her past, her pain, her relief. She ignored everything but her love for Mamoru Chiba.

Her lips turned to his, hungrily seeking confirmation of him. Of his love. They kissed heatedly, the cheers rising in volume. She felt his hands roaming over her back, her arms, through her hair. She felt herself falling in love with Mamoru, over and over again.

When they separated from the kiss, his gloved hand found her own bare one. Warmth filled her at his touch. Heat pulsed from her body as he stared down at her with nothing but pure love. They walked together, hand in hand, to the foyer. He slipped his coat on and discarded the Santa hat. Helping her into her own coat. 

They stepped into the cold together. His arm draped over her shoulder, holding her tightly to his body. Snow was falling in large intricately designed flakes. She smiled at this, turning her nose to the sky and catching them on her tongue. His own chuckle escaped him.

"So tell me, Usagi Tsukinodo you still hate Christmas?"

Usagi turned to him, a huge grin spreading across her face. She launched her arms around his body, clinging to his chest. His own arms fell around her. So snug, did they fit. So perfectly.

She smiled up at him, cupping his cheek in her hand. A chaste kiss was placed on his lips before she shook her head.

"I think, Mamoru Chiba, that I can learn to live with it."

"Just this once?"

She laughed. Slipping one arm around his waist as they made their way in the direction of his apartment.

"Just this once."

"What if I pronounced my undying love for you over and over for the next Christmas' to come?"

She grinned, winking up at him.

"Then I think, Mamoru Chiba, that I will learn to love Christmas, as much as I love you."

-End-

Come on now, did you -really- think a hopeless romantic as myself wouldn't end it with confessions of undying love? =P you ought to know better ;)

~*MUAH*~

_When everything is gone there should be nothing to fear. This world will not bring me down, because I'm already here._


End file.
